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When do you really need to worry and what to watch for?!
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I have an eight year old son and almost four year old which I both may have some ADHD issues or atleast some of the symptoms. At what point do you worry about this and what is considered with boys this age? Im wandering if I should have them both tested. They both are wearing me out physically and spiritually. I have tried over and over again with habit training but it doesn’t seem to do any good for my three year old. He is extremely strong willed! Almost overwhelming sometimes and makes homeschooling extremely difficult. Should I have them both evaluated with the doctor?
Well, boys are definitely a different sort of creature than girls in many ways, and they do tend to wear you out! And as my pastor put it when talking to my son one day, men’s bodies were designed for physical activity, and boys typically need a lot of physical work throughout the day and then they’ll sleep well at night. His advice to me was to make sure my son got plenty of physical activity every day, both work and play.
Having said this, though, I think a mother “knows” when something might be amiss. My 14ds has autism, and our pediatrician didn’t really think he needed to be tested for it (she didn’t think he had it), but a behavioral psychologist tested him when he was 8. We knew something was a little different long before that.
If I had things to do over again, I would start reading books & blogs about my concerns a lot sooner, especially talking to parents who have kids who have been through that age with these symptoms. When you listen to parents or read stories about various cases, you often recognize your child in parts of them. If not, then it can put your mind at ease.
If you feel very comfortable with your pediatrician, I would mention your concerns at your next visit. In the meantime, though, do a bit of reading for yourself. Oh, and if the three-year old is strong-willed, that alone can wear you out, but it doesn’t necessarily mean he has ADHD. I read an interesting book called You Can’t Make Me (But I Can Be Persuaded) by Christian author Cynthia Tobias. Also, there is Dr. James Dobson’s book The Strong-Willed Child that has been helpful for many parents.
There is also a great book called Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurchinka. It has been very helpful for me in understanding my children and why they are “more” strong-willed, energetic, etc and gave me some definite ideas that made a big difference in our home.
I have been down this road for several years, and I know people get tired of hearing it, but I would test my child for food allergies BEFORE testing for ADHD. There are strong research studies showing that food and environmental allergies can cause many of the behaviors exhibited by ADHD kids. Making dietary changes was better for us than placing my child on medications. They calmed down considerably and focus much better, their attitudes, illnesses, anger, and ability to cope with things have changed for the better when we removed the food culprits.
That said, I am not suggesting that you shouldn’t speak to your doctor…you should. I just wanted to let you know that there might be other avenues to explore with him as well.
SUE,
Thanks for sharing! It’s really complicated and I can’t really pin point it but I have always felt that something was definitely amiss with my oldest. We could do better with the physical exercise….we don’t do enough of that. My oldest has always had issues with eating, dressing, simple day to day task. He still can’t hardly sit down and eat a meal without me almost having to feed him most times or asking him 100 times to sit down and eat. He’s such a creative and sweet child! Exceptionally bright in a lot of ways but has always been extremely needy, whiny and a lot of times spacy. I really do love his personality but I can’t help but feel something is missing. I want to help him overcome! He’s very introverted as well and has issues with attention. I think I have the books by Dr. James Dobson and those have been helpful and encouraging. Thanks for your encouragement!
SHERAZ,
I will look into that book….sounds like a good read! Both my kids have struggled with allergies mostly environmental allergies, pollen, etc. I have my oldest tested some years ago but been feeling the need to have them both tested again. They both had mild eczema as babies which they out grew but both struggle with seasonal allergies. We try to eat as much organic as we can, stay away from processed foods, colors, additives and excess sugar. We even only eat gluten free grains as much as we can. I know they probally both need to be tested again! My youngest seems to be more robust when recovering from illness, etc and I think it had a lot to do with the changes I made before conceiving him. They also take fermented codliver oil, whole food vitamins, probiotics and I try to feed them as healthy as I can. I think exploring all avenues is a good idea and not trying to look at it from one perspective! Thanks for the advice!
I would go the food route also. My son was told he was ADHD, and I have a couple that show it now also. BUT with food changes, exercise and a godly chiropractor we have not felt weary of our boys in years. (chiropractor saw that his spine wasn’t alined and was putting a LOT of pressure where it didn’t belong causing him to act hyper and unfocused all the time.)
Good luck will be praying I have been down that road, and my personal experience is once labeled, dr.’s just want to med them up. I am not ok with that so I found my own research and my own changes did naturally what they wanted to cover up. Ok sorry.. praying
Misty
My son has autism rather than ADHD, so his symptoms probably wouldn’t help you much. But I agree that diet is a big consideration.
I don’t want you to feel like you’re being ganged up on about foods; I would never want anyone to feel that way. I just wanted to mention that we have a lot of food allergies and sensitivities and they aren’t all “bad” or unhealthy foods. My kids are “allergic” to tomatoes, potatoes, corn, milk, sugar, even organic sugar, peppers, pineapple, etc. Just eating a potato can make my 12 year old daughter sick to her stomach and VERY grumpy for about 4 days. She is completely unreasonable and emotional. She can’t be nice at all. When she eats safe foods, she is extremely wonderful and reasonable. It is a total night and day difference.
As much as food can play a part, some kids actually need more. I have a nephew that has struggled for years. He finally got tested and is actually being medicated (my brother and is wife aren’t the kind to just want medication). He feels so much better about himself. He says he can think now. You’re right about exploring different possibilities for your family.
Also, you said something about exercise. We don’t do enough physically either, and we can see a huge difference when we do (and in people who do). Sometimes my kids are extremely emotional and I think some of that would settle out if we had more fun physically. Something we need to work on here.
I hope you find help.
One more thing to consider, another thing that can cause ADHD type symptoms are sensory processing disorders. Along with food issues, sensory issues are a big deal around my house with all 4 of my kids. 🙂
http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-processing-disorder-checklist.html
Seconding the food allergy testing. Do not to the skin prick test if you go this route. You want the blood test that will check for sensitivities as well as allergies. A couple of sensitivity triggering foods or environmental agents, though benign alone, when combined can cause issues. We’ve BTDT with all of my kids AND me.
Thanks guys! I’m really at loss to know what to do! When they go in for there yearly checkups I’m going to talk to there doctor about seeing an allergist and do some blood test. I’m hoping he’s open to it! I’m also interested in learning more about the sensory issues.
I would like to chime in with a question. What do you think are the benefits of having a child tested and formally diagnosed? I get asked all the time if I had my son tested and I am like “uhm no, his symtoms are so obvious, I don’ t see the benefit? Pharmaceutical treatment is a no-no for us so what would be the benefit of a testing? So far we treated with common knowledge available but start next week consulting our new naturopathic family physician .
Christine
Christine, a diagnosis would be a necessary thing to have documented should your child want to go on later and go to college. If there might be modifications that would be necessary to have (i.e., extra time, ability to type, etc.) for testing purposes, whether for college entrance exams or for life at college, there’s no way to make those things happen without a documented diagnosis. And it wouldn’t work to wait until two weeks before the PSAT to get it. HOWEVER in some states, in early years, a diagnosis means local school districts might be able to pressure you to have an IEP.
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