Now that my kids are 12, 11, and 10 (with the 10yo being the quietest, most well-behaved), this is all much easier to deal with–no more cartwheels in the living room! Back in the day, however, I believe I lowered my expectations a bit. Not that they were not expected to be polite and obedient, it’s just that I chose to see some of the differences as enthusiasm. After all, I always felt that they could see and feel my joy in entertaining guests. When they would see me hurrying to tidy the room/house or preparing refreshments, they just knew “company’s coming.” And then, when the guest arrived, what was Mom doing? Focusing lots of attention on the guest, of course! I always felt as though my children were just following my lead, in their own childlike ways.
Having guests over has always been a good opportunity for teaching hospitality (which actually differs from mere entertaining), and the teaching occurred both before and after the guest’s visit. Like anything, they have learned over time–lots of time! If I required some private time with the guest, then I would tell them beforehand, allow them to greet and serve the guest (even if it was just a glass of water), then tell them directly when it was time to play in their rooms. I usually offered a reward of some kind to those who stayed in their rooms when required to do so, and this became more effective as they got a little older.
It only took my kids ONE time to realize that I was serious that they behave when company is over. I sent them to their rooms until the company was gone and they missed out on all the fun. THey have behaved well ever since.