Name: Thrive! NCHE Homeschool Conference
Start: 2025-05-22T00:00:00-05:00
End: 2025-05-24T23:59:59-05:00
Location: Winston-Salem, NC

This topic has 34 replies, 21 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 5 months ago by ebcsmom.

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December 12, 2011 at 2:53 am
TracyM
Member
It totally varies depending on what they want. Alot of times a few things they want are small/inexpensive so we include those in the stockings. But the older kids are definitely more expensive. This year, we’re spending very, very little because my husband was just recently re-employed and we’re still trying to get above water bill-wise. But my mom is getting them some want/needs. The older 2 need track shoes and basketball shoes–neither of which are inexpensive. I can get everything on the little boys list for the price of just their shoes! lol My oldest son also wanted a new desk (we recently moved and had to get rid of the old one falling apart) but I think we’re getting that for free from a friend getting rid of one.
December 12, 2011 at 2:55 am
Rebekahy
Participant
So what I’m curious about is… does your income set your budget for Christmas or do you set a budget based on other guidelines? In other words – if you have a small amount you spend per child – would you spend more if you had the money available? And if you are spending large amounts per child, if you had less would you be able to temper your spending?
December 12, 2011 at 4:23 am
my3boys
Participant
@Rebekahy: We set aside money monthly (or so) for Christmas. I have based our spending on previous year’s and what we expect to spend or may spend on Christmas gifts, including the extras like: kids at church we support, teachers’ goody bags (very inexpensive), our parents, Christmas tree, cards/stamps, breakfast/dinner, ornaments for my boys, etc. I have an idea of how much that will all cost and break that up throughout the year. I actually start a list of what we spent, who we bought for, etc. right after Christmas so that I don’t forget. I write down what didn’t go over all that well, what we want to try to incorporate, etc. right away so that the next year I have an idea of what I may need to set aside. It doesn’t meant that will all happen, but I try to be prepared. I enjoy this time of “spending/giving” that I purposely set the money aside. My dh used to get bonuses for Christmas but we can’t count on that anymore so I set the money aside. Plus, I’ve been setting aside money for about 15 years now. I do purchase several items at the After Christmas sales to off set the cost for the next year like: cards, wrap, containers for cookies, etc. and pick up some items that can be stocking stuffers for the next year or White Elephant gifts/Christmas party gifts, etc. I am pretty frugal so I try to get the most out of our money and that means sales.
I buy all of our paper products for the holiday after Christmas, as well, and set it all aside in a container for the next year.
I guess our income sets our budget but also just the fact that I enjoy this time of buying/giving/sharing that I set the money aside throughout the year so I can enjoy it. We don’t use credit cards and do try to stay within the amount that we set aside, that I predetermined. We have several other events during this season that make it extra important to set aside the money to do what we like to do. We wouldn’t be able to spend what we spend (which isn’t as much as some, but more than others) if we didn’t set it aside…it’s not just sitting in my dh’s paychecks in Nov/Dec, iykwim.
Hope that answers your question…..Merry Christmas.
December 12, 2011 at 1:14 pm
MamaSnow
Participant
While part of the reason that we spend on the smaller end of things is simply because we don’t have a high income (and because of shipping costs when we are overseas), I really don’t think we would spend much more than we do just because the bigger part of the reason is that we just don’t want to go overboard with mountains and mountains of gifts. We prefer to just do 1 or 2 well-chosen items and stick to that. So, it’s more of a philosophical thing for us. I should probably also mention that we don’t really give the kids things they ‘need’ such as clothing or whatever as ‘gifts’. We meet their ‘needs’ on an as-needed basis as they come up. Their gifts are really more special things that they WANT or that we think they will really enjoy that we wouldn’t normally just go and buy for them. But again, that’s just us. =) This of course may change as they get older…but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. =)
Jen
December 12, 2011 at 1:42 pm
Tristan
Participant
We would not likely spend more regardless of money availability. However, we have also begun to talk with our oldest about the option to choose ONE item instead of a few and it could be larger in price if she is willing to work off part of the price in the months leading up to a birthday or Christmas. One thing she’s considered is a Kindle. She opted not to get it this year but may choose to work for it for her birthday, and we would be willing to pay half.
December 12, 2011 at 1:54 pm
TinaB
Member
Our family varies, it depends on the finances that year. We have tried to spend about $50 per child, we have 3 boys. I have learned something. It is not how much you spin but that the kids really enjoy what they get and are appreciative. We had a hard Christmas last year financially and was just thankful to have a good meal. We let my youngest pick out a Wii game, we didn’t buy it, just rented it for 4 days. That was the cheapest Christmas for us. My sisters helped out and gave them money. A friend brought over some toys and candy. Just the other day my youngest was talking about what a great Christmas he had last year, he is nine now. He talked about how much the friend brought over and then said, but it was mostly candy, wasn’t it. He also talked about his game. I could have cried. I had forgotten how hard it was and yet he was seeing how great it was last year. This year I am so looking forward to my 3 boys opening presents. This has been a $50 in gifts year for them. Every year I thank the Lord for He has always provided for my boys all through the year and at Christmas time. I enjoyed setting out our nativity seen right at Thanksgiving. We just put up Christmas lights but we don’t celebrate Santa. I just didn’t want to start it. We used to buy more little toys for the boys when they were little but now have gone to a bigger gift for the boys. It is an exciting time and so much to celebrate. Merry Christmas!
December 12, 2011 at 3:07 pm
missingtheshire
Member
We would not spend more no matter what our income was, we make sure the girls have what they really need throughout the year (and I mean need, not want) and then at birthday they get something special but usually not more than $50 – 70 each and then at Christmas, they get more needs, and a couple of small wants. We don’t like to have a balance on a credit card so don’t use that for gifts unless we know we can pay it off – even if we had a lot of money, I would not go overboard, that is not what Christmas is about – Christmas is about the birth of our Savior….that is it and the only reason – the gift fest is a man made thing that I don’t want to be part of in the mad way it has become today…so some small things and a lot of family time, good food, gratitude that we have a home and hubby has a job, and health – those are the things important to us. Every family has to do what is right for them, but we tend to do more on a birthday, than Christmas – Christmas is a sacred time of reflection and gratitude, and we do the 3 gift thing, like the wise men……
December 12, 2011 at 3:17 pm
Claire
Participant
*Please read this gently I’m not sure I’m getting my point across … it’s complicated. And please do not, do not think I’m in any way commenting on anything you all have said directly. I really enjoyed the conversation. It’s just I’ve been thinking about this whole issue recently too and thought I might chime in here ….
I attended a new church this past Sunday to hear my husband’s boss’s son preach. He is young and has a wonderful following in our community and university. His message was powerful and really resonated with me. I only add that to this discussion because he showed a slide show with a really powerful message about what it might be like if we did not spend at Christmas. If instead we just did something powerful with that money for someone in need, or made simple things in our homes for each other. I can’t remember now how much it was Americans spend at this time of year but I want to say it was over 400 million (at least as noted in this slide show) …. it really made me think. Maybe the powerful graphics and presentation got to me but every year I think about this over an over during the season.
We decorate our home, buy a tree, stuff the kids stockings (although I might only stuff them with undies and socks this year so that I can end the parade of “littles” that usually aren’t enjoyed much longer than that week) and buy a few things for each child that they’ve asked for on their “wish list” and they usually end up with a few from family or close friends too. Here’s the real kicker though. I do not give outside of my chidlren during this season. I’ll host a dinner with close girlfriends, i share the gayiety of the season whenever and wherever I can, I might buy something for someone if I really see something I know they would love but as far as buying for every member of the family I just don’t do it. My inlaws think I’m a horrible person. Maybe some of you do too. I certainly ask that no one buy for me or even for the children. In other words I don’t expect or even want anything. I’m not trying to be greedy. I am generous throughout the year but this one big shebang of giving seems artificial somehow?
I just always wonder: Why do I need to give you gifts to celebrate the birth of Christ that has been freely given to all those who accept Him? I know I’m really out there with this, but I just don’t get the whole gift giving once a year at this particular time. It seems to me like this time of year might be even more about austerity, frugality, gratefulness and reverent prayerful consideration of our ultimate Gift that has already been given. I’m in a stage of mulling this all over and trying very hard to find a meaningful balance that I can articulate to my children. I don’t want to simply say – poo on the whole holiday! Nor do I want to necessarily whoop it up and go hog wild with gifts either. I grew up in a home where the children of the family were given a few gifts, maybe one really cool one and we had a tremendous meal together and went to church. For the most part I grew up thinking of Christmas as a Thanksgiving with trees and better decorations! 🙂
I haven’t shopped yet at all for the children so I’m not sure what my budget will be but I’ll certainly be using cash only to make the purchases and like most of you I like to include the needed as well as one or two fun things. I really liked the ideas you all shared. Thanks for letting me ramble and put in my two cents. I’d love to hear if any of you have thought about that same things I mentioned.
December 12, 2011 at 3:36 pm
Tristan
Participant
Claire – one thing we do year-round is tithe money to church AND donate money for those in need. However at Christmas we make an extra special effort in giving more. Our children are all 10 and under and this year they’re spending December working odd jobs for us to earn money. All of this money is being given to our bishop who knows of families in need. The other thing my children are doing is donating toys that they no longer play with but are in nice condition. Hubby and I ask ourselves all month long “How much more can we give?” and often add more to what we’ve set aside, despite the fact that our family lives at the poverty level for a family of soon to be 9.
We do not do gifts for extended family, instead choosing to spend time with them as possible.
December 12, 2011 at 3:53 pm
Claire
Participant
Tristen, great idea about having the children work to earn money then given away. We too give during the year and when we see or hear of a need. I was lucky in the past and able to give assistance through the business I owned. I would love to spend time with extended family over the holidays or anytime but they seem really insulted this time of year that I didn’t give them actual gifts! 🙁
December 12, 2011 at 5:15 pm
missingtheshire
Member
This year the girls donated the money for any presents they were going to get to buy food for our local shelter, so they are getting a few things of need in their stockings even though they are not expecting anything, (have you seen the price of ladies razor blades lately!!!) and the money they would have gotten is going to the pantry. This was a family decision so we are all doing it. I will however still give the little needs in the stocking. We keep thinking that even the poorest person in this country and my own are rich in comparison to others in the world and as such we need to appreciate the blessings we have and not always want or get more….we are lucky that we have never done family gifts to other family members – that was agreed by all early on in our marriage, as no-one wanted to have to spend the money every year, we all felt just talking on the phone and catching up with everyone was worth as much if not more as we are all scattered all over. Linda :))
December 12, 2011 at 5:53 pm
crazy4boys
Participant
We don’t do a dollar amount per se. Usually, each kid gets one new outfit of clothes (including unders and socks), one book, one quality man-sized tool, one “fun” toy which is usually inexpensive and one educational toy/project. Sometimes we opt for an outdoor type toy instead, like sports equipment, scooters, crossbows, etc. They also get new pjs on Christmas Eve. As a group we usually buy a game or two, and maybe a DVD or two. And those are mostly educational (this year they’re getting Jeff Corwin). We do the same for birthdays.
Because we’re moving to NE next month and we have no snow gear, a lot of their Christmas this year is going to be jackets, gloves, hats, etc. And they’re such sweet kids they will be super excited to get them and not complain about the lack of toys.
We live far from extended family and haven’t been able to have Christmas with them for 10 years or so. We often send small gifts they can enjoy together, like a movie with treats or movie tickets. Or a family game or books. Then they can have family time together, even though we aren’t there.
December 12, 2011 at 7:39 pm
Heather
Participant
We were aiming for $150 per child this year, but ended up going over $25 each – so $175 each child. We also never buy our kids things throughout the year with the exception of clothes if they outgrow something – and that most often from Goodwill. At birthdays we only give 1 gift with about a $20 limit and take them to an activity/restaurant of their choice. So, Christmas is a fun time for us to get them things they’ve asked for at other times. Included also are books, jammies and games to share!
December 12, 2011 at 8:41 pm
RobinP
Participant
Thank you, Claire. You have no idea how much I needed that.
I haven’t participated in this conversation as to how much we spend, and won’t, because I’m struggling with a lot of things about this season and have for many years. The way dh’s family “celebrates” this day is a gigantic, over-the-top display of ridiculous magnitude. I have begged and begged them to stop and they refuse. My mil even shouts “But I LIKE getting presents!!” I hate it. I really do. And I hate that I hate it.
So I’m praying for myself to completely focus on the One who came and why.
December 12, 2011 at 9:00 pm
missingtheshire
Member
Robin I feel what you are saying, I am not talking about the ladies on this forum when I say this I am speaking in general – when on the rare and I mean rare occasions I have had to visit a store lately I have been shocked by the excess of junk people are buying – and standing in line at a local Target a woman stood in front of me with three shopping carts full of trashy plastic junk for her 4 year old granddaughter! She told anyone who would listen that she had spent way over $1000 and of course it went on her credit card.
I just feel the whole meaning of Christmas has gone in many places and in many hearts and it is sad. In this home we make more of a deal about our own birthdays which are special days and personal, Christmas is the birthday of Jesus and we like to celebrate that – a pastor posted on FB a picture – one side showed hungry starving children, the other showed woment in a store with carts loaded to the hilt with Christmas stuff – the picture said Define Necessity on it and it should be on billboards everywhere… I don’t want to be a grinch, but I also remember the Christmas times that I spent with my family as a child – I got a stocking with socks, nuts and an orange and then one present which was usually an item of clothing hand made, we also got a family game and that was it. We always got a small toy on our birthdays, this was in the early 60s in England. I don’t ever remember feeling deprived, just warm and loved….we have lost so much since those days – there was more feeling and love in those days than there is now for the real reason of the season. So I hear you Robin, it is a conflict each year, and we jumped off the wagon a few years ago and don’t much worry about what others think.