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What is your bad conquences giving to your kids?
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Hi creative moms,
After reading a post regarding bad conquences to kids, I think they are awesome! I would love to gather your ideas on giving conquences to kids. Some of them are really creative to me, I have never thought of giving vinegar to my kids because of talking back. I love it! Thank you for your ideas!
One of my most frequent consequences for smart mouth (which I have zero tolerance for) is that the offender simply isn’t allowed to speak. He loses that privilege. I tell him “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all so you cannot talk until…”
Thanks! One of my kids always has this smart mouth problem. I tried many things but still not working, I willdefinitely try this. Thanks
When our children interrupt, we have them put a hand over their mouth and gently remind them that it isn’t polite to interrupt and remind them of this scripture: If you have played the fool and exalted yourself, or if you have planned evil, clap your hand over your mouth! Proverbs 30:32
🙂
Hmm, we’re not super creative but some we’ve done in the past:
For every complaint about school you get an extra 5 math problems.
For every time you say “I’m bored” you get a chore.
For arguing with a sibling the item argued over is lost (taken by parent for 24 hours) and they have to go do something as a team, usually washing walls or another chore.
For saying a food item at a meal is disgusting, yucky, or any other rude description they either 1. lose their meal and get bread and water to replace it or 2. get an extra helping (2 bites) of the food they were rude about. #2 only really works with kids old enough to realize and accept that they have to eat that extra portion. Younger kids don’t really get that concept.
For responding grumpily to someone they get to redo the scenario with the right response as many times as they are old. So the 7 year old has to respond properly 7 times.
For major mouth offenses (i.e. talking back, name calling, disrespect toward a sibling or parent) they get a drop of white vinegar on the tongue and must hold it in their mouth until we tell them they can spit it out and rinse. If bitter things are coming out of their mouths, it is good for them taste what bitterness is.
For saying “I’m bored” or “There’s nothing to do”, they are given extra chores, which they must do cheerfully.
For not performing a task or job correctly, they must re-do it. “Do it nice or do it twice” is our motto.
For “forgetting” to do a job they know they must do (i.e. make the bed, daily chores, feed the dog), they lose play time to do the job until I am satisfied.
When not hanging clothes up properly becomes a habit, I take everything off the hangers and they must re-hang everything. This gives them practice. (At 7 1/2 and almost 9, my children are perfectly capable of hanging their clothes properly. They have had much instruction on this, so when it is done incorrectly, laziness is to blame.)
For complaining about a food or meal, they lose the meal and go hungry until the next one. They must still sit at the table with a good attitude while the rest of us finish eating.
For interrupting, being too loud after being told to quiet down, yelling in the car (something I hate), they lose speaking privileges and must put their hand over their mouth until I say otherwise.
For not taking care of a toy/book, they lose that toy/book until I say otherwise.
Once my dd was stretching out her socks for no reason, just to see what would happen, I think. After telling her it would ruin her socks several times, I then told her that if I saw her doing it again, she would have to use her own money to buy herself new socks since she had ruined several pairs. Sure enough, it happened again, and she did have to take her own money and buy a new pack of socks. She has never stretched socks again. This could apply to anything they don’t take care of that you buy for them: shoes, clothes, supplies.
For bickering and arguing that isn’t resolved in another creative manner, they are sent to bed without reading time, play time, or tucking in. Just go to bed and we’ll start over again tomorrow.
Great post ladies 🙂 I have a question about teenagers and their mouths. My oldest son is 14 and for whatever reason w/in the last 8 months or so he has not been as compliant as he used to be. I really don’t know how to discipline him. It’s not anything like calling me names, coming right out and saying no or that he doesn’t have to. It is more subtle but still there. Any ideas?
I am gleaning a lot from this, as I don’t have a creative bone in my body and often ‘blank’ when my kids are misbehaving. These are awesome ideas for creative correction.
@ Laurabora – I love that Scripture and the hand over mouth idea. I have an impulsive little guy and this may help him think before interrupting :).
@ Nina – Is he being obedient and respectful, but differing in his opinions from Mom and Dad? This could be the beginnings of some normal growing up and away from you a bit, if so. I don’t think that rebellion is normal in teenagers, but I do think that they are developing their own identities and can be encouraged in this. There was a thread a few days ago with a video link from the Ambleside schools where they discussed how to help your kids grow into maturity. I think it would be really helpful to you as it addresses boys at that age, specifically.
Here is the link:
http://www.amblesideschools.com/
Or just look at the Pursuit of Maturity post from a couple of days ago. Hope it helps!
Great ideas here, will steal some of these. I haven’t been very creative, just taking away video game time here (which is very precious to them and only in the week-end).
I prefere the idea of giving consequences that have to do w/the offense.
Just a question for Lindsey and Tristan, let say you take away the speaking previledge but they do not follow tru, what do you do then( because that happens all the time here)?
@petitemom, at that point it becomes outright and willful disobedience and the child is given a spanking. I bet it’s been six months or more since we’ve had to give a spanking; we save it for purposeful, willful, spiteful disobedience. For us, it’s 2-3 swats on the bottom (with clothing over; we do not believe in bare-bottom spankings), then a time of prayer and talking to the child and trying to work it out. Once we bust out the spankings, our kids know we mean business and straighten up immediately.
Just a note to others who may read this, let’s not turn this thread into a debate over spanking. I don’t think that is the OP’s intent, nor is it mine by bringing it up.
Blessings,
Lindsey
@Nina, I’ve adapted this from a Debi Pearl idea, but it’s a wonder worker here: I give my ds12 “3 strikes” each day for things like negative comments or looks toward me, etc. At strike 3, he’s lost the next 3 meals I make and must make his own. I find that special desserts or a favorite meal the first time or two of “striking out” really help make an impact. 🙂 Will try to share a few for the younger ones a bit later- need to recharge the computer..
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