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What does CM mean about allowing a child to make their own associations
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Yes, Bookworm – that was terrific! I am not at all offended by anything you said. Just today, I told my husband that I want to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit in what I should do and our day. It really is hard to let go of the control of our lives isn’t it.
If anyone else has more to say, by all means share! And Bookwarm if you have any more to share by all means go for it!
I especially liked this:
“If I want them to learn to hear that still small voice, I’d better keep my louder one quiet often enough that they can.”
Thanks Bookworm! 🙂
Okay, so I am getting the picture of what this means. I will ask my “example ” question differently – not to belabor anything, but rather so I truly get a clear picture of what Bookworm, 3 littel girls, and Sonya have explained to me.
Does anyone have an actual experience of what these ladies have described that you can share with us and where your child owned their noble and good ideas to the point they applied it to their own lives permanently? More than one would be great and at different ages would be helpful.
Well, I don’t know if this is what you’re looking for but I’ll share what my son did just last night.
First off, we have been CMers for a short time, in comparison to others, and this school year has been our first full year only CM. So, I have incoporated lots of character study, private Bible devos, good conversation, good books, etc. Not that we weren’t Christians before CM, but I had not really thought about these type of subjects to wrap our school around…does that make sense?? I don’t want it to sound as if CM gets all the credit, because we were teaching our kids morals/values/patience/compassion long before, but we have spent alot more time on these type of subjects/topics because of the nature of CM philosophy. I hope that makes sense.
Anyhow, last night my oldest was at karate. He usually stays for 3 classes 3x a week, but in last night’s class no other students showed up, so he called me to come and get him. I asked him why he didn’t want to stay, he said because it would’ve been just him and the teacher and since he knows the teacher has a long day, he thought he could go home early and spend time with his family. I thought that was so nice of him to think of the teacher and his family than to think of having a private lesson for himself with the teacher. He had hoped that the teacher went home and surprised his family. He told me that he knew that if he had said that to the teacher he wouldn’t have left, he said to me, “You don’t suggest that to someone (about going home if they’re the teacher) because they’ll feel obligated to stay, you just leave and they’ll figure out that they can go.” Okay.
This particular son of mine would do anything for his Dad. He aims to please him, not in suckup kind of way, but in a genuine–I want dad to be proud of me and to be able to count on me–kind of way. Boy, I hope my other boys follow suit. My 8yo is on his way—cares deeply for the homeless–he has his own personality, that’s for sure.
I don’t know if this helps at all. My kids are far from perfect, but I’m trying to help them see that compassion, love, integrity, honesty, hard work, etc. etc. are so much more important than money and status. And, I have always told them that it wouldn’t hurt my feelings if they turn out just like their daddy:)
Gotta go. Blessings to you.
@ my3boys- I totally get what you mean about “Not that we weren’t Christians before CM, but I had not really thought about these type of subjects to wrap our school around…does that make sense??” I too am going through this too.
Yes, I see what you mean -“I don’t want it to sound as if CM gets all the credit, because we were teaching our kids morals/values/patience/compassion long before, but we have spent alot more time on these type of subjects/topics because of the nature of CM philosophy. I hope that makes sense.” I think what you are trying to say is you are much more purposeful in what you are training them in. This is what I am also doing and why I like the Charlotte Mason philosophy.
Wonderful story my3boys!
Yes, you said it. It is more purposeful, especially in the character department. You’d have thought that I would’ve been doing that anyway, being a Christian an’ all. But, what I was originally focused on was academics then character (if we had time;). Now, we are more focused on characeter, habits, etc. Of course we are still working on Math, Science, Music, Reading, etc., but the academic side of those have to be secondary if their attitude is not in right. Same for me, right?? I can present lessons daily, but if I’m a total scrooge and I’m too focused on academics as priority. My kids totally pick up on it when I’m stressed over them ‘getting’ something and not having patient with them. My patience toward my kids should be more important (and how they feel about me as their mom) than if they ‘get’ fractions right now!
gotta go to music class:)
I feel as though my kids are too little to claim any story or anectode as a reflection of their enduring character. I haven’t been a mother (or a teacher) long enough to praise the effectiveness of this type of education. However, I will tell you that my oldest daughter, who has just really took off with reading these last few months, reads her Bible in most of her spare time. She also reads other books I have laying around the house quite frequently and I pray for her that God is speaking to her during these times. She is reading a book about a missionary as we speak. She is a quiet person by nature and will not offer any sort of narration without being asked for one, so I don’t push her to tell me what she is learning by her self-motivated reading. Rather, I trust that she is her own person, and God can speak to her as clearly as He has spoken to me at times.
I imagine if the television was on, or computer games were an option, or if lessons took all day, or if I didn’t set the stage by reading her good books frequently from her toddler years, she would choose to do different things during her spare time. And perhaps that busyness would hinder the Spirit’s work in her life. I do not know, or claim to know, all that this education will produce or encourage. But I know I am in God’s will and I am learning to trust Him in all areas that are not explicitly understood by me. I would encourage you to do the same. 🙂
Well when I read the Vos. Children’s Bible to my children I just read, then they narrate. I do NOT ask question or talk/preach about the passage. They however always ask questions and comment on things. I try to be careful and ask them what they think or why they say such and such, before I say anything. It is amazing when I just stop and listen to what is going on in their little minds. I try to do this with all our subjects. They end up bringing God into every subject, and many situation, on their own. They love the Bible because it is God’s word to them not because I tell them they should. They get giddy for Bible reading time. I don’t think they would if I was always running my mouth off :). I don’t know if this is the kind of example you were looking for so ignore me if it isn’t.
Okay, i tried to let it go, but I can’t. I have a typo in my earlier post and I noticed it after the alloted time frame for editing. I meant “has taken off” not “has took off”. It is really bothering me, so I’m correcting it. Sorry!! LOL
@ my3boys- I have been feeling the prodding by the Holy Spirit to be more Christlike in my behaviour with my children. Ephesians 4 and 5 have been the chapters that I have been reading regularly to remind me of my behaviour and to allow the Holy Spirit to change. I definitely have not always listened to this reminder, but I am becoming better. From glory to glory He’s changing me!
@3littelgirls – I am wowed by what your daugher has done inregards to readign her Bible alot. It humbles me. I am going to take what you have shared and ponder it. I think some changes are in order for my home in reflection on what you shared. I am going to create the atmosphere in my home better so there is much more encouragement for this kind of behaviour and contemplation. Great example. Thankyou.
Oh!And you made me laugh when you said you made a mistake in your typing. I am very much like you. I wish there was an edit button to go in to change our mistakes. Ha!Ha!
@ coralloyd – Prompting is a great idea to get them to narrate instead of telling them. And listening – oh – listening is so important. My husband constantly tells my children that He gave them two ears and one mouth! I really need to do this! Good reminder and yes- it is a good example – very practical!
I thought I would update my understandig of this thread ” making associations” and I am finally getting it! I thought before it was about leaving a child to them selves completely to make their own associations, but it is not. It is one of guidance through good literature, discussions through prompting questions, listening, and such.
Thankyou for sharing with me your knowlede.
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