What do you do when they're independent?

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  • LindseyD
    Participant

    Next year, it’s looking like I’m going to have one student working almost completely independently and one working more independently than she ever has before. Ds will be 9 1/2 and is capable of keeping track of his work, bringing it to me to check when he’s finished. Dd will be 8 and is already showing that, with a list, she can keep herself moving. Of course, we’ll still have family subjects like history, Bible, geography, literature, etc., but as for math, writing, written narrations, reading, etc., they are able to work mostly without my guidance. I would guess that they’ll each have about an hour of independent, self-guided work per day.

    I’m just wondering, for those with independent workers, what do you do during that time? I don’t have any babies or toddlers to keep track of or younger students that need my undivided attention. I’m entering a new season of life with these older kids, and I’m not really sure what to do with myself. It’s exciting and sad at the same time.

    Currently, during their independent time, I’m staying in our school room (on the 3rd floor of our house) and reading or browsing online. My presence is here to keep dawdling and lack of focus at bay, but I’m not having to teach/give help constantly. I don’t feel like my time should be used on our main floor for cleaning or cooking, because I think it is important that my presence in our homeschool be felt and that they know I’m always here to help when needed. Moving our schooling to another area of the house is out of the question because I need a space like this and there is really no other use for this room. It’s uniquely shaped, and we can leave books and messes out if we need to and not have to worry about cleaning up if we don’t want to that day. The other great thing about this space is that we have our main computer/office set up up here, and since we’re only up here during school time, the computer is out of sight/out of mind for the rest of the day. It’s been a big blessing in many ways!

    So, just wondering what your thoughts are for what to do when your children no longer need your undivided attention but when you still want to provide a presence…I guess this would be Masterly Inactivity?

    Blessings,

    Lindsey

    pslively
    Participant

    I use that time to do my studying.  I have several books that the kids are reading through on their own and I read them on my own so that we can discuss them at our weekly family meeting, so I try to accomplish that during school hours.  I also have other books that I am studying by myself.  I am trying to  learn to draw, so I use some of those precious few moments for that as well.  Or I work on my Book of Centuries.  I think it is really good for the kids to see their parents learning right alongside them.  And I want them to know that learning isn’t just something you do at “school” but rather something that lasts your whole life.  You could also work on handicrafts.

    Shannon
    Participant

    Seems like a perfect time to dive into your own studies! You’ll be present to help when the need arises and you’ll be modeling healthy study practices for your children. Decide on a few topics you’ve wanted to know more about and start. You will be modeling for your children methods of scholarly study you want them to reach when they are older.

    ETA: Sorry pslively, I was typing (and showering my son) while you were writing the same thing!

    melindab72
    Member

    This is so great! You’ve obviously worked hard to get them where they are, good for them and good for you!

    This is our first year doing anything with any kind of structure. My dds are 8 and 10, and I can foresee a time when they will be working independently, but right now we do so much together…bible/history, literature, science, art, even math (they are on the same level). They are starting to read independently instead of reading aloud to me, and that’s a big help. Our main roadblock right now is that if I step away for a moment they start to chat, or worse, argue. I need to figure out how to set them up in seperate rooms I think, but they don’t have desks (we are at the kitchen table). 

    Our home is one level, so when they are working for any stretch of time I do clean the kitchen and do laundry. I do this so that I can get done what I need done in the morning and then we have our afternoon free to go out.

    blue j
    Participant

    Hi Lindsey,

    When my girls are working on their independent subjects, I may be doing any of the following:

    reading the SCM forum
    writing in my BoM/Commonplace Book
    writing in my weather/”firsts” & 1000 gifts journal
    working through my own MUS book**
    working on my personal Bible reading/study
    reading a book &/or poetry
    balancing the check book**
    looking for substitute books or additional reading/ reading book reviews as needed

    That list may look semi-admirable and long, but please note that I don’t always do all of these everyday during the school time and sometimes none of this gets done, though that is rare..  These are just items that I will do during those times.  Also, because my girls are older than your kiddos – from 18 – 12, there is more time spent working on some items.  The 12 yo and I spend some time working together as well while the older ones are working as well.

    **Right now my personal math time consists of MUS, though I will be adding in some living books about math, just haven’t done so yet.  I have found that MUS is sufficiently different from the way I learned Algebra and up that I wanted to take the courses myself both to help my girls and to deepen my understanding especially in Geometry which never really stuck, in part because of a move mid-year, teaching styles, etc.  That’s probably way more information than you needed/ wanted, I’m sure.

    Along with the math work above, I often balance the check book while the girls are working as well. The girls have come along side of me as they have finished, and I work on this which means that they have learned how to do this both formally, as I have sat with them and worked through household budgeting and so forth.  This is done online, and I choose to do this at least weekly as monthly takes longer than I like. I also use the online bill pay at this time while ticking off items on weekly budget list, if that makes sense.  Anyway, I see this as passive teaching and reinforcement of budgeting & money management, so technically it’s teaching passively

    TailorMade
    Participant

    Reading, writing, knitting, baking, organizing cabinets/closets, library book work, and journaling/praying are things that come to my mind.

    🙂

    Becca<><

    nebby
    Participant

    My 4 are 7,9,11 and 12 and even during their “independent” work I am constantly needed to read spelling words, check math etc. makes me think I am doIng something wrong.

    Nebby

    melindab72
    Member

    blue j, I think it’s so interesting that you do your own math study. I struggled in high school and college, some levels never really stuck with me either. It’s been something I’ve regretted, not really undertanding and just squeeking by. I might do what you’re doing!

    Rebekahy
    Participant

    Lindsey – you’re making me jealous!!!  You can use that time to iron!  Tongue out  In my brief moments of kid’s independent work I fold laundry, because it’s mindless enough that I’m still able assist with questions on math etc…

    What about using that time to write notes of encouragment as a little ministry opportunity – I have friends who are very gifted at that and it’s been such a blessing in my life!

    I’ve read about moms who blog during that time or operate their own business.  Perhaps you could have a different task everyday of the week – so one day you could do your own family paperwork (bills, budgeting, tax documents, etc…), one day could be menu planning, one day could be something fun that you enjoy – knitting, scrapbooking, sewing, one day could be computer – PINTEREST!!! and so on. 

    I probably would continue to do activities that require you to be in the same room as the kids as it does give a better level of accountability at this age, but sometimes you get those personalities that REALLY don’t need it.  My nine year old could easily complete all of her work at a high level of quality AND do the family subjects on her own without me even being on the same continent.  My seven year old… not so much – and not even because of her age as much as her personality and right-brainedness.

    Just remember that time is a blessing from God – I’m sure he’s got wonderful plans for you!

    Rebekah

    blue j
    Participant

    Melindab72, I moved during my Sophomore year in hs, and the style of teaching, the curriculum used, and even some of the theorems was different. That resulted in sketchy ideas as to how it works, and I managed some version of a B in the class. I have no real understanding of it other than bits I’ve learned through the years with the kids. Sad but true. So while I can figure things out, I can’t adequately explain it… at least not like SD.

    crazy4boys
    Participant

    We’re only partially there, but when I do have free time during school I do some of the following: I read or study.  I made up a course of study for myself in natural health/healing/nutrition and am working my way through that.  I do a religion study course as well…and any other subjects I feel like.  I also read the books my kids are reading so I can discuss with them.  I look for curriculum that we’ll need coming up (planning & purchase).  Menu plan.  Write to friends/family.  And I alternate working with them individually as well.  I still have a few more years of that!  I think I’ll cry when they don’t need me anymore.  A sad/happy cry.  

    LindseyD
    Participant

    All good suggestions! And please don’t anyone be jealous! Dh and I made the decision to have our children super close together (17 months apart), and we decided two was enough to make our family complete. Raising them like twins has meant that they’ve been at many of the same phases and stages at the same time. And please don’t think that they’re perfect and never need me to tell them to “focus or else…”! I do that all the time!

    I count my time on Pinterest as “research and study”. I really do find some great articles through Pinterest. As most of you know, I do like to research food/health/nutrition, and I feel like I have plenty of time in the afternoons to do that if I want. I don’t use my afternoons for computer time mostly because, as mentioned earlier, it’s out of sight, out of mind upstairs. I hadn’t thought of reading the books they’ll read so that I can be knowledgable, especially since several are upcoming and I haven’t ever read them.

    Rebekah, my 9yo sounds like yours. He could do all of his work, chores, and make himself lunch before he ever asked me for help of any kind. My dd is a bit different, but is still growing more and more independent. Wink

    crazy4boys, how did you go about creating courses of study for yourself? I’m interested!

    For all the suggestions that I do family paperwork/balance the checkbook/pay bills, well…dh does all of that, so I don’t have to mess with it! I handed our finances over to him about 5 years ago, and I’ve never regretted the freedom it gives me!

    Thanks, everyone,

    Lindsey

    crazy4boys
    Participant

    Well, Lindsey, here is the method to my madness.  I want to (eventually) get a degree/certificate in some sort of (or many types of) natural healing.  I went to MANY websites that offer degrees/certificates in the areas I was interested in and looked through the books/materials they use.  Almost all the schools have a book list (or bookstore) online.  I compiled a list of all the recommendations then looked up reviews on Amazon.  Some of the books I ruled out, others I felt like I’d enjoy and learn a lot.  And often I found other suggestions and added those too.  Because I personally wanted a broad base of knowledge I have books for nutrition, homeopathy, essential oils, herbs, reflexology, and several other areas.  I have both a written list and an Amazon wish list specific to this ‘course’ – written because some of the materials are only available from that certain school.

    For religion I did something similar.  I chose a topic (or topics) then did a search for books and articles that focused on that and made a list.  My church has a lot of materials already available for studying the scriptures (and other gospel-related topics) so I have a large part of it completed before I even start!

    You can do this for any topic you’re interested in….use your fabulous research skills to find good books/movies/articles….just like if your child wanted to study geology you’d be off hunting books and movies for them.  Do it for yourself too!

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