What are some natural consequences for this?

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  • April 1, 2013 at 10:44 am
    nerakr
    Participant

    For the past month dd5.5 has been biting her brother (age 9) when she’s “had it” with him. A little background: he will either be teasing her or making noises (car noises and such) while he plays and won’t stop when she (or I) tells him to. Dh and I grew up in families in which corporal punishment was the norm, but it’s not working and I want to do something else anyway. And I suspect, although we have no proof, that dd may be on the autism spectrum and this is her latest coping mechanism. (Ds’s car noises are annoying, but for dd it may be a sensory issue). I’ve explained to ds that she bites him when he teases her, so maybe he should stop teasing. Of course, that didn’t work. What would you suggest?

    Another behavior/habit: she has started pullling my hair for no reason at all. At first I would spank her hand and remove it, but ever since potpourri posted about her dd’s sensory issue, (not liking her hair to be touched) all I’ve done is tell her to stop and remove her hand, just in case in some way it’s related to her not liking her hair brushed or washed. Again, what would you suggest?

    April 1, 2013 at 12:58 pm
    nerakr
    Participant

    Thanks for your suggestions, potpourri.

    Maybe I need to give more background.

    (1) Although dd is verbal, she doesn’t tell her brother to do anything except “be quiet” or “stop,” so I don’t know how well making him her slave for a day would work.

    (2) We have just begun training ds in doing chores. So far he dusts and cleans mirrors/computer screens and is supposed to pick up clutter and that’s about it. Dd doesn’t do chores yet except help pick up clutter.

    As to her “quirks,” I can’t put my finger on anything else at the moment. We’re having some food issues that we haven’t had before, but I’m not sure if this is sensory or just stubbornness.

    April 1, 2013 at 2:12 pm
    coralloyd
    Participant

    Well I can tell you what I would do. I don’t know much about sensory issues so take this with a grain of salt.

    For your son I would not allow him to speak or make any noise for a period of time say 5-10 min; or have him actually “hold” his tounge. I would tell him that if he can’t hold his tounge on his own you will have to help him do it. Your dd is very young so I would use timeout with her. Make sure you do timeout correctly. Tell her why she is there. No holding her there. Just put her back if she gets up. No talking to her. No eye contact. If she can’t keep herself from biting other she has to be removed from others. I would also have her hug and say sorry to her brother, doing something kind with her body toward him instead.

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