We're having a no questions day???

Oh, I’ve been tempted but never done it. We did institute a “mom’s only answering each question once” policy though. I noticed that so many of their questions were the same, frequently things like “what’s for dinner?”. So I now answer that once and if you don’t hear or listen, you’re out of luck. Answering even one question for the 6 kids who talk can take a ton of time.

At the same time, I must admit that the question can be quite humorous. It always cracks me up when they ask “what’s for dinner?” as they watch me make it or “are we going somewhere?” when I tell them to get shoes on so we can leave.

If anyone has insight on how to curb this or what could possibly be causing it, I’d love to hear it. Or if you have dealt with this and have an age range on when I can expect it to end?

One idea that comes to mind is to make a “detective/logical thinking” game out of the question, if possible. Yes, this will take longer than just giving the answer, but as we all know, sometimes a long-term solution is worth the time we invest in it.

So if the child asks, “What’s for dinner?” as you’re cooking, you could say something like, “I think you can figure that out yourself. Look around and tell me what you see.” And help him observe and analyze the clues to at least narrow down the choices. 

Another possibility would be to intentionally set up situations where they must make a choice. Walk them through the process of decision-making. For example, lay out two choices of clothes to wear — one for cold weather and one for hot, or one for dressy and one for play. Then help them think through the process of making a good decision and choosing the appropriate outfit.

One thing that my dh did (and I do) – not just on questions….. is he is silly with “chickens”.  So, when the kids were really little, they would see a truck and say there’s a truck, and he would say “No, it’s a chicken”.  Very quickly they would say, “no it’s a truck”, and he would say – it has wings like a chicken – and they’d say “no, those are wheels”.  Soon, at a young age, they could tell us exactly why something is what it is, and not a chicken.

Now for questions, same type of thing.  If it is obvious, he might answer a chicken.  (or for “where are we going”, his answer is “down the road”, etc….   For food, I do the same thing, except I say it is a Pogo Stick

So, they might ask what we are going to eat, and I’ll say “a pogo stick”, they would look around the kitchen, see stuff for tacos, and say “No, we are having tacos”.  I’d then say “so why did you ask if you already know?”

I don’t know that it reduces the questions, but I feel less like screaming…. lol

I have been known to send one child to ask another as in “I already told your brother what we are having for dinner; go ask him.” I guess I end up saying no fewer words but it feels better. I also post a daily schedule on the fridge so when they ask where we are going, I tell them to go look themselves. You coudl also post the answers to other questions like what’s for dinner so they can check for themselves.

Hi there,

I have already had to deal with this with my 4, almost 5 year old.  I was worn out by the end of the day from the constant talking and questions.  So finally I sat back and looked at what was going on: she had developed a bad habit of asking constant questions even for foolish things, and then I had developed the bad habit of mindlessly answering them! I realized this was going to be a big problem with narration down the road when she was asking me questions about something I had read one sentence ago and knew she knew.  So, now I ask “what do you think?” when she asks me a question where I think she knows the answer (like reading) or can figure it out by observing surroundings (like cooking)  Not in a sarcastic way but in a calm, honest, sincere question to her so she pauses and thinks about it and then tells me – almost always correctly, what the answer is.  She actually surprises me sometimes with great answers when reading if I am not really sure she knows the answer to what she is asking me regarding concept of book.  The other question I will ask her if she is asking a question I have already answered is “what did I already say?’  Again, no sarcasm, just calm honest question to her to make her think for herself.  These two questions I ask her now have helped me alot with my frustration.  And then there are times when I just have to say “ok, it’s time for a break from questions.” I was hoping this was a phase she would out grow, but judging from the varying ages you guys are talking about, it’s not….sigh…

I agree, Doug, and I promise that I do try to work with them on this process we call life and to not “ignore” people when they speak to you, because that is rude…

I guess I was referring to this example:  Child opens fridge to get out the ketchup and instead of really looking he just skims over the surface items and asks mom, “Where’s the ketchup?” Unnecessary question, if you ask me.  Because I know that he’s not really moving anything around to really look for the items he is not really motivated to find it himself but dependent on me to find it for him.  I didn’t do anything he couldn’t have done for himself, except he did not chose to move anything around.   Those are the questions I have to ignore.  I have found myself saying the same thing over and over, which is “Did you move anything around to find the ketchup?” “No,” he says. “Well, in that case you haven’t really looked so therefore you don’t need my help, exhaust your efforts that I know you possess then I will help you.”

Now, of course, I’m just talking about simple things like that that happen throughout the day, not real issues in life.  Not salvation by grace, obedience, finances, character issues, etc. Those questions I want to answer and am glad that my kids come to me with their questions.  But the whole ketchup thing is overkill:)

It was late when I posted last night and I’m sure it didn’t come across at all as I had hoped…