I was thinking about your issue all day today. I can SO relate to sleep issues. My oldest DD slept very well until the day she turned 3 months old. That night she woke up five times and didn’t sleep more than 2 hours at a time until she was well over a year old. I was completely drained and lost all patience and perspective. I have thought many times that I was lucky she was my first, because I’m not sure I would have survived if I had to deal with the lack of sleep and deal with older children too.
Anyway, here are my thoughts. They are not all related, and some may not apply, but hopefully something will be useful to someone.
First, I agree with the suggestion to let Daddy try putting him down if you haven’t already done that. Perhaps the technique of sitting in the room to make sure he stays would work with your DH. All three of my children went to bed easier for Daddy than for me when they were at that stage of learning to stay.
Second, have you tried something like an audio tape or some music to listen to or books to look at? My youngest (26 months) loves to look at books for a few minutes as she lays in bed. My oldest is in the bunk above the little one and she reads for about an hour before she goes to sleep. So little sister looks at pictures by the very minimal light from big sister’s reading light.
Third, I can relate to the issue of a late supper because DH is home late, usually between 6 and 7:30pm. What we do is that the kids and I eat at 6:00pm every night. If DH is not home for supper, then the kids have a light snack/dessert while DH eats supper. This might give you a way to get your son into bed before he hits that overtired and wired stage. Or, you could have him in pjs and ready for bed before supper so that he is ready for sleep right after. If he has a relatively late healthy snack, he probably won’t eat enough at supper for it to disturb his sleep.
Fourth, you could work on the obedience side of the equation by playing the “obey game.” I read about it in the Duggar’s first book. They regularly have the whole family together and take turns asking the children to do simple, fun tasks – walk across the room and jump three times, or rub your tummy and pat your head. The child is to say “Yes sir!” and then do the task. In your case I might make your little guy’s tasks things like “Give Mommy a kiss and then lay down on the couch and close your eyes.” Or have him practice sitting quietly while you count to 20. Or lay on the floor while Mommy walks away and don’t move until she comes back. Then remind him that he can do it and is ‘such a big boy’ when you put him down for bed.
Fifth, an alternative to the method of sitting in the room is to leave and then come back. At first, tell him good night and then say you are going to get a drink of water and that he needs to stay in bed. Return almost immediately and congratulate him on staying in bed. Stay for a minute or so, then do it again. At first give a reason that you are leaving, but eventually you can just say “I’ll be back in a little while,” and then later just silently leave. Gradually increase the amount of time you are gone. As the time gets longer, just go far enough to be out of sight, but so you can still hear him and walk back in as soon as you hear him getting up. It will take some time and lots of consistency, but it would remove the desire to play with you when you stay in the room, and will get him used to staying in bed by himself.
Okay, I need to go to sleep myself. My kids are all sick and sleeping on the floor beside buckets because the bedding is all being washed, so it may be a long night!
Good luck!
Joanne
