Week 4 of toddler sleep training

I have 5 boys and I would totally 2nd the list above.  Also, I would look at what you are feeding him.  We actually just detoxed our kids and my (dh not ready for that and it’s ok) in all ways.  Nothing that is sugar, turns into sugar or the like.  Then Thanksgiving hit.  My dh looked at me and said that’s it they are never eating wheat again 🙂

They went from naping fine, going to bed fine, having normal sibling issues TO not wanting to nap, whining all the time, going from tired to wound up, to putting everything down and yelling at everything/one.

Now I have a 2.5yr old daughter which is a BIG difference I know but here is her schedule.  She wakes around 645-7am daily.  But knows I will come at 7 to get her up.  She goes down for a nap at 1 gets up usually around 230.  She is in bed at 7pm.  At 2.5 she still needs over 12hrs sleep.  They say 12-14hours.

I think you need to start putting him down early.  Set up a bedtime routen that you can follow.  Something simple.  Baths are great if you have time nightly I do not have that time.  But maybe it would/could look something like family devotions, brush teeth, PJ’s on and then a quiet movie/playtime for 10-15 minutes.  Maybe you read him 1book from a picked out stack of your choice of books as you sit in his bed.  Then I know white noise is HUGE in our house.  Everyone has a fan in there room.  And it has to make some noise.  Non of those quiet ones :0)  Also, we set the sleep time on the radio and they go to sleep to music.

2.5 isn’t to young to set some boundries also.  For my daughter if she isn’t listening it’s as simple as no talking from us, and putting her back in the bed (yes sometimes it’s over and over again.)  Maybe taking away the music, her stuffed animal.. whatever it is. 

Well just some thoughts.  It’s tough no 2 kids are alike.  No two kids will respond to things the same.  I will pray for you and your son.  Get some lavendar candles and light them before bed time an hour or two and put them in his room and then blow them out before he goes to bed.  Lavender is so calming!  Blessings Misty

Sara, have you tried having your husband put him to bed? My just turned 2 year old son has ALWAYS been our worst sleeper. Not a bad sleeper, but the worst of the four. All of the other 3 were sleeping through the night by 6 weeks at the latest, (They were all 4 born giants at ~ 10 lbs. or more each.) but this little stinker didn’t want to go with that plan. He took a few extra weeks and still to this day is an extremely light sleeper and wakes easily. Last night, he woke about 5 times and cried for just a minute or so before he went back to sleep on his own. All that is to say that while I may not have the exact issue, we’ve had issues.

Several times over the last 9 months to a year, he’s gotten into a funk where he will really cry hard when I put him down and there is NO OTHER ISSUE. Same schedule, meals, no sickness, but still fussy bedtime, sometimes for an hour or so. We started having hubby put him to bed with the same routine: dinner, play, bath, teeth, books, songs, prayer + when he lays him in the crib he says in his firm Daddy voice, “Now lie down and go to sleep. No fussing or crying. Love you.” A couple days of Daddy doing the routine and all is well again and any of us (hubby, me or dd10) can do the routine with no problem. Something about Daddy doing it works for us. Maybe we’re odd, but at least it’s something to try. 

I do understand what you mean about downtime, not to be confused with today’s popular “me time.” While not always possible, it is healthy to take time to connect with the Lord and our husbands apart from the kids. Yes, there will be interruptions and we need to graciously deal with them, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t important to carve out some time for those things. Sometimes it is as simple as getting fresh air for 5 minutes, seeing the glory of His creation with no kid noise and you’re recharged for the day.

Blessings,

Christie 

I was thinking about your issue all day today.  I can SO relate to sleep issues.  My oldest DD slept very well until the day she turned 3 months old.  That night she woke up five times and didn’t sleep more than 2 hours at a time until she was well over a year old.  I was completely drained and lost all patience and perspective.  I have thought many times that I was lucky she was my first, because I’m not sure I would have survived if I had to deal with the lack of sleep and deal with older children too.

Anyway, here are my thoughts.  They are not all related, and some may not apply, but hopefully something will be useful to someone.

First, I agree with the suggestion to let Daddy try putting him down if you haven’t already done that.  Perhaps the technique of sitting in the room to make sure he stays would work with your DH.  All three of my children went to bed easier for Daddy than for me when they were at that stage of learning to stay.

Second, have you tried something like an audio tape or some music to listen to or books to look at?  My youngest (26 months) loves to look at books for a few minutes as she lays in bed.  My oldest is in the bunk above the little one and she reads for about an hour before she goes to sleep.  So little sister looks at pictures by the very minimal light from big sister’s reading light.

Third, I can relate to the issue of a late supper because DH is home late, usually between 6 and 7:30pm.  What we do is that the kids and I eat at 6:00pm every night.  If DH is not home for supper, then the kids have a light snack/dessert while DH eats supper.  This might give you a way to get your son into bed before he hits that overtired and wired stage.  Or, you could have him in pjs and ready for bed before supper so that he is ready for sleep right after.  If he has a relatively late healthy snack, he probably won’t eat enough at supper for it to disturb his sleep.

Fourth, you could work on the obedience side of the equation by playing the “obey game.”  I read about it in the Duggar’s first book.  They regularly have the whole family together and take turns asking the children to do simple, fun tasks – walk across the room and jump three times, or rub your tummy and pat your head.  The child is to say “Yes sir!” and then do the task.  In your case I might make your little guy’s tasks things like “Give Mommy a kiss and then lay down on the couch and close your eyes.”  Or have him practice sitting quietly while you count to 20.  Or lay on the floor while Mommy walks away and don’t move until she comes back.  Then remind him that he can do it and is ‘such a big boy’ when you put him down for bed.

Fifth, an alternative to the method of sitting in the room is to leave and then come back.  At first, tell him good night and then say you are going to get a drink of water and that he needs to stay in bed.  Return almost immediately and congratulate him on staying in bed.  Stay for a minute or so, then do it again.  At first give a reason that you are leaving, but eventually you can just say “I’ll be back in a little while,” and then later just silently leave.  Gradually increase the amount of time you are gone.  As the time gets longer, just go far enough to be out of sight, but so you can still hear him and walk back in as soon as you hear him getting up.   It will take some time and lots of consistency, but it would remove the desire to play with you when you stay in the room, and will get him used to staying in bed by himself.

Okay, I need to go to sleep myself.  My kids are all sick and sleeping on the floor beside buckets because the bedding is all being washed, so it may be a long night! 

Good luck!

Joanne

This obey game is interesting. What motivates the child to do what you asked? I mean if you say, “Let’s play a game.” Then, “Sit down and be quiet until I count to 10.” What if the child says he doesn’t want to play? What if he doesn’t make it to 10? What if he does?

Thanks for the well wishes, missceegee.  It was a bit of a rough night, but they all seem to be doing fine this morning.  At least they were considerate and were all sick together so it was all over in about 9 hours.  I did lots of emptying buckets and rubbing backs for a while though!  It took me a while to compose that message last night.

dmccall3, I haven’t actually done the obey game myself, I just borrowed the Duggars book last week and read about it.  I want to try it though.  I think the key is to make it fun.  Everyone in the family should be involved.  And there should be lots of fun activities (put your nose to your toes, pat every girl in the room on the shoulder, etc.) mixed in with the ones you are targetting.  Don’t make a request that the child won’t be able to handle.  Start with sitting still (“Be a statue” might be a good way to phrase it) while you count to 3, rather than 10.

The main point of the game is to just give them opportunities to be obedient, in a fun way.  It’s a way to start building the habit.  And then you can refer to it later when you make requests.  “Remember the obey game?  Let’s see if you can obey now.  Ready?  Please put your dishes on the counter.”  (And then follow through with lots of gratefulness and congratulations when they do.)  And then at bedtime.  “Remember we practiced obeying?  Okay, here’s another one.  Please stay here in your bed while I go check on your sister.  I’ll come back and check how you did in a minute.”

Anyway, that’s my current theory.  As I said, I haven’t done it yet, but I can definitely see the potential benefit.  I’m going to start trying it at our next family night.  We don’t have many sleep issues any more, but we can definitely use work on obedience!

Joanne