My parents will be celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary this summer and would like to renew their vows. As their only child this is something I’d like to do for them. I’ve done some reading and I know it is not another wedding, and I know a lot will depend on my parent’s tastes and plans, but has anyone here renewed their vows? Attended a vow renewal?? Or planned one?? What are your tips? What are the big things I shouldn’t miss when helping with (or guiding) the planning?
My husband and I renewed our vows a few years ago after the Lord brought us through a traumatic time in our marraige. For us, it was between us and the Lord so we actually didn’t invite any family…unfortunately much of the family was advocating for our divorce during the time of trial. Our pastor officiated and there were a couple of witnesses, but that was it!
I went to one quite a few years ago for a couple celebrating 35 years, and although I don’t remember most of the details, they did have it in their church, and they invited quite a few people. They didn’t do the “walk down the aisle”, but it felt a little like a wedding having them both stand up there. They told each other some of the things that they appreciated about each other and were meaningful over the past 35 years. Afterwards they had a small punch and cookie type reception.
HTH. Congratulations to your parents for 40 years!
I went to a 50th wedding anniversary party/vow renewal awhile back. They didn’t walk down the aisle but like Tanya mentioned, it had a wedding feel about it. Our pastor gave a devotional and there may have been music playing as people were seated. They wrote appreciation letters that they read aloud and thanked each other publicly, it was very sweet and personal. Afterward they had a cupcake/cookie/punch reception, had a slide show with music, and gave family/friends the opportunity to share some special memories, etc. They had a card basket and I’m sure we gave them a giftcard to somewhere. They did take a little second “honeymoon” so the giftcards/$$$ helped w/ that. Mind you, they didn’t expect anything, but we’ve known them forever and knew they were going some place fun for a few days.
If/when my dh and I renew our vows, it is going to be a big party that is all about us and our kids!! We’re going to have fun, w/ a personal touch, but definitely more fun than the stress we endured w/ the “real” first wedding.
You could ask their friends and family to stand up and say a few words about them. Something they remember, their personality, love for each other, compation for others,ect… This was really nice for my Grandparents. They also had a potluck type of party. Many of the family members brought different types of food. Many took pictures but I took pictures of everyone. Some people didn’t even know others were there. So, I would suggest having several people take pictures even if you have a professional photographer. Make sure you have a younger relative/relatives be “the photographer” you may be surprised what great pictures a younger person takes. Tell them to take pictures of everything. 🙂 If you purchase a few digital cameras you won’t run out of film. 🙂
Make sure you don’t have it in Aug. It gets really hot and cakes and people melt. 🙂 food will stay warm though. 🙂 Make sure you make have Mom and Dad corsages and boutiner ordered early(and picked up). Mom’s new dress fits right before the event and dad has a nice outfit and his socks match. LOL… ( I have seen this be a critical problem right before a large event.)
Make a budget and stick to it as much as possiable. Decide if you are making Food, decorations, and where you are having it right away. If the pastor will be putting it on you will have to get the Date from him and then get a hall next. Unless it will be at their church. That will make it easier. You may have to secure a person to play the piano unless you plan on having it on tape. Also if it is in the church you will have to decide if you have to decorate the church or pews. Another idea is to have it at a country club and just have them do all the catering and put up the chairs and have it there and have the reception there also.
I think a vow renewal, especially after such a long marriage, should be sweet and simple. Maybe only invite their closest friends and family, have your children read a special poem or sing a meaningful song, then a small reception afterward with easy but elegant finger foods. If you were having an anniversary party, you could make it a lot bigger, but that would not only be harder it would also mean extra expense. For something as intimate as a vow renewal, my belief is that less is more. Your parents are going to want to focus on each other and you and their grandchildren, not on a bunch of guests. A sweet backyard ceremony (weather permitting) or maybe at their church could be inexpensive and easy, then you could have the reception at the same place. Make it full of their favorites: maybe the flowers could be whatever your dad gave your mom on their first date or whatever they had at their wedding, serve the same type of cake they had on their wedding day, things like that. You could have a table of photos from their life together or one of those frames that people can write blessings and wishes on.
UM, ladies, this is an old post. I think a spammer hit it as “kale-nard” has an embedded link and information that was not in any of the previous posts. It has been reported – and please do not click the link for your own safety.
This is so funny…I saw this post on the discussion forum and thought “oh, someone else is asking about a vow renewal!” Turns out it’s my post from last year! 🙂 Sorry it got spammed…
Anyway, since I’m here I’ll give a quick update…we did do a simple yet elegant party with family and close friends. A longtime pastor friend of my parents was more than happy to “officiate” the vow renewal. My children (the only grandchildren) performed a song, recited a favorite poem, and quoted 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. The vow renewal was followed by light refreshments and a beautiful cake. Overall, it was a wonderful day & I think my parents were happy with their celebration.
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