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Very confused about homeschooling
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Hi everyone
Some of you may know me from other groups, you name it, we’ve tried it for our HS. About 2 months ago I suddenly realised I was loosing my children. I’d purchased a boxed curriculum, and was just teaching to finish the pages assigned. If my son wanted to know more, and read up about it, there simply was not time. At the same time I have a 6yo in Grade 1 and a 4yo, both daughters. I started yelling at them, working at this super stressed pace to tick off all the subjects. And in the process destroying our relationships and the beauty of HS.
I have read few books about the Cm method, The Catherine Levison book, the old Child Light one by Diane Lopez, and I recently got a used ORiginal Homeschooling series set, I am reading VOl 1 slowly trying to digest it . I perhaps tried CM with my son in the incorrect way, when he was too young. I tried narration and dictation when he was 6, in ignorance!! Last year we did a bit of narration, and he loved it, we used the jar. I think I am a bit confused and unsure where to start.
In a nutshell my son is 9, he LOVES reading, reads very well, about 7th grade level. He struggles with his cursive. He can do wonderful oral compostition but really struggles to get it on paper. I recently read the Moore’s books and think perhaps I expect too much. It is so hard as a parent to balance making children try hard and develop good habits against pushing them beyond their normal capabilities. I do not think my son is stupid at all, but I do get criticism and people insinuate that he is “behind” school level here in SOuth Africa. His general knowledge is excellent and he is well read in so many fields. He needs more practice with his math but I’ve seen over time that his strength is Languages and he gets there with Math, even if it just takes longer. We have lots of books at home and most of them are living books. We’re real book lovers.
My problem is this. I want to try CM with what I have, I do have lots of living books. I have many unused/half used resources and if they have to sit on the shelf that is fine, but I cannot afford to buy anything new. So for Math I’ll just use what I’ve got.
But where do I start? I’m trying to see if we could plan our education using the CM curriculum guide, and I’ve got to admit it, it looks overwhelming. The Light schedule looks doable.
I also feel there are so many character issues and bad habits I need to work on that the academics have taken a back seat these past 2 months.
Should I start with buying the Planning your CM education and go from there? I am just so afraid that I am going to feel overwhelmed again and become crazy with my children and lose the plot. And perhaps Laying downthe Rails?
Thanks,
Lindy
Hi Lindy,
I believe I would start by first repenting to your children. Tell them mommy has been wrong about what education should be. Then pray with them that God would give all of you a heart for real education…that is discipleship. That’s really what God desires. That’s the way Jesus taught.
One thing I really think is misunderstood about Charlotte’s “method” is that it really is somehow light. CM is truly a holistic education. She had a gift of understanding the nature of children and taught the whole child. CM is so much more than living books, narration and nature study. She used those as a means of growing the children in wisdom and stature. When a child can observe, read and tell back, the child has ownership…a relationship.
So yes, if you can make a few purchases, I would recommend Sonya’s seminars, any of them really. I especially enjoy the Books and Things seminar. But you want to make sure you’re grounded in what CM is…and what it isn’t or you’re liable to go back to a list of requirements that you check off. You want a vision for what true education is.
Then simply start small where you are. Choose a habit and work on that for a few weeks. Maybe choose a habit that YOU struggle with so you can come alongside your children and work on it together. Start small in the schoolwork area as well. I think the first R in the 3 R’s should be relationship. Let your older son read an narrate. (Don’t worry about writing it down right now…that will come.) Make math comfortable for him. Go on nature walks. Just observe in the beginning. Don’t require notebooks in the beginning unless they want to do them. Choose an artist and enjoy his paintings. Learn alongside your children and be excited about what you are learning. But rebuild that relationship first. There will be time for all these other things. Sometimes on the front end of a CM education, we feel like it’s not enough. But I promise, if you don’t grow weary in doing good, your children will have an education (and a relationship with you) that is second to none.
Blessings…
I agree with Robin.
I’d also suggest taking a couple of weeks for a break before diving in – kind of “de-schooling” from the boxed “school-at-home” curriculum. Do a few fun field trips, enjoy a couple of books just to enjoy, etc.
With CM, a 9 year old would just barely be starting written narrations, and on Ambleside Online, it is recommended that a child do Oral narrations for a year before starting written even when older than about 9 or 10…. then only have 1 written a week for a while, etc.
There are a couple of Free Math programs available if you did want something else. I use “MEP Math” which is free from the UK (has the benefit of using Metric for those of us not in the US)… another I have used on occasion is Khan Academy… which has videos showing math skills, and also asks questions to be answered… when they get 10 right in a row, it recommends going to the next subject(s). It could be a good way to go through review, starting right at the beginning skills of math. Let me know if you want more info on either.
Spend a little time enjoying your children again… and then start adding in things. I would start of by picking one of your living books to do as a read out-loud as a family, and having them work on math. SHORT lessons with math, and do some hikes / outdoor type field trips. Then add in listening to some music in the background. Do this for a while, then slowly add things in. There is an article on this site (in the blog area?) about transitioning to CM that would be helpful. Hope this helps!
Oh man, Lindy, I could’ve written your post myself a while back. I am so sorry that you are struggling, and I believe the encouragement that Robin gave you is spot on!
I repented to my children (especially my oldest) and to the Lord for my ignorance and controlling attitude. Life is so much better now. I slip back into ‘unforgiveness’ occasionally and cry over past mistakes, but God is good to have given me more time with my kids and a better way.
I am still learning and want to fully understand Charlotte’s ideas so I am not ‘just checking things off’ like we were doing a couple years back. This education style truly is about the whole child….cultivating good habits, character and academics, of course, but also, for me, about building a relationship with my kids. It doesn’t hurt that it has made changes in myself as well, far better changes than just homeschooling alone will ever do.
I’m not as great a writer as some on this site….my thoughts do not come across as fluidly, sorry. I just wanted to encourage you….Your comment and Robin’s response brought me to tears. I have been there with my precious kids and I know that repentence and forgiveness will have to be your starting point. But, then that’s just the beginning of a wonderful journey with your children.
God Bless you.
I recommend two books that inspire your heart and mind on education, reflecting a CM style, not necessarily telling you how to schedule; these may also be in order so you can be rejuvenated and excited. Without inspiration, I’m afraid you may fall back into “the rut”. They are available at the library, so no purchase is necessary:
Rachel
Thank you so much for all these encouraging replies. Fortunately, the day I realised what was happening we immediately stopped school and I repented and apologised to my children. We’ve been off school about 6 weeks now. It’s been SO good. I’ve been able to see good things in them that I never saw before but also have realised how chasing academics at the cost of relationships is so foolish. You are so right, these traits that I see in them, are in me, and I need some habit training too. I have really got to learn to unhinge myself from “national curriculum standards” and learn that I only need to satisfy Gods’ standards for my family. It’s just every now and then I get panicky, because I know we’re “behind” their standards, which are very silly ones mind you.
I think I am going to focus on Bible, relationship, habits and the fun gentle parts of CM for now, whilst I continue my reading and get more into CM. I want to understand and grasp it fully. I think if I try too much I may mess up. I want to enjoy my children and appreciate the fun times of learning we can have together.
😉 Lindy
I am happy for you. It sounds like you have a clear idea of where you’re headed and where you want to be:)
Blessings to you.
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