60-day returns • free shipping on USA orders $129+
Vent/Rant – sorry
- This topic has 20 replies, 12 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 9 months ago by
.
- Posts
I am not the original poster, but want to thank all for the replies. We are crowded with ten people in a three bedroom house, I am wondering where our new baby will go in seven months, and my attitude has been dismal lately.
Betty, your reply has reached my heart in a way I really needed.
Going off to read 1000 Gifts – right now.
Gaeleen
Just goes to show….
Whenever you have a question, there is probably several other people that would like to ask the same thing….
AND… probably a number of people who have at some time wondered the same thing, and come up with solutions.
I’m still in the plowing-thru-it-blowing-it-falling-on-my-face stage of it, personally. But I can say that things have lightened up from those earlier days for me. At least for now. I never thought they would. But I was very naive, and still am at times, thinking that life is supposed to be easy and supposed to work out the way I envisioned. Afterall, I was a “good” girl–grew up in church, learned my memory verses, led Bible studies, had my devotion times, homeschooled, milled wheat & baked bread (before celiac) etc… Didn’t I deserve for things to be better?? Ouch.
I think one of the best things, and most painful things, that God is doing is exposing the crud in my heart. It’s alot easier to be thankful and to accept our circumstances when we are looking at them from a broken and contrite heart. Oh, but I fight numbness of heart and pride daily. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that the Lord showed me that my biggest need right now is for humility. The Lord used a dear, new friend to bring that to my attention. On the outside, you would never know. I’m pretty soft spoken and submissive on the outside, but the Lord knows my heart. The way I respond to the daily irritations shows that I need more humility–I get irked and defensive when you push certain buttons. Unfortunately my husband and children know & love those buttons. We are all a work in progress. The only way to progress, though, is holding the Lord’s hand and trusting Him with everything moment by moment.
And here this discussion started as one about a crowded, falling apart house! It’s really not about the outside stuff at the end of the day. I’m having to trust the Lord with some big things right now, but somehow it’s almost easier than trusting Him for the little, everyday things. I pray that the Lord not allow us to waste or disdain these days of small things, and that He help us to see that they are not random and meaningless, but intentionally and lovingly planned by our Heavenly Father. May the head stuff get into our hearts! (please forgive all run-on sentences)
Suzukimom–Thank you for posting this and for being so open and honest. Please don’t ever apologize for that! I have very little to add after all the amazing replies posted here.
I did want to say that we ended up in our current town in a teeny tiny 3 bedroom/1 bath house; the downstairs bedroom is so little that you have to squish between the door and the bed to reach the only bathroom in the house. The stairs that lead up to the (even tinier) attic bedrooms (which are quite weirdly shaped) are completely open on one side, and there are hardwood floors, so I have worried the entire time we have lived here about my clumsy toddler/preschooler falling and killing himself. The heat rises into the attic rooms, so poor, sensitive DS is always too hot at night, while we freeze downstairs. The floors tilt, so I worry about the bookcases falling over. We recently saw carpenter ants (I am terrified of ants). The paint is peeling off the outside and there is mold and moss at the base of the house. In the recent tornadoes, I have been mortally terrified because there is NO safe place to go to if one were to take a direct hit. (Fortunately we have been a few miles away from all the ones that have passed.) The house smells “funny” to me…kind of musty and old…(oh wait, that’s because it IS so old…:)
We had a hard time adjusting to this house, and have complained about it often to each other. It has been a huge learning experience for me to be grateful for what I have…even this house is MUCH more than the majority of the world’s population have. I know that may sound trite….but the full realization of it for me came at the same time that I was reading a lot about the Voluntary Simplicity movement, which we are now fully on board with. And as our time here has gone on, I have become grateful that we do NOT have a nicer home…that we are not taking up more than “our share”, so to speak, and are not living above our means. I have come to see the “nasty old house” as the “quirky little historic house,” and have even grown rather fond of it. (I still wish the stairs had a bannister on the left side.)
That said–I am even more grateful for it now, and even more ashamed of my past complaining, after having read these posts. I do not live in a Greyhound bus. I do live in a tiny old house, but with only one child, not four. (You have no idea how much I respect you after having read your OP!) My house does not have mold.
So thank you for posting–I hope you have derived encouragement from the responses the other ladies have posted. I know I have. 🙂
Thanks for sharing everyone…
Our stairs to the attic have a handmade (not by us) rail, with gaps wide enough for the kids to go through easily (there are 5 uprights over the whole span…) – so yes, that is a big fear….
and right now our basement has mold from water damage… we have been slowly emptying out the basement (most of the furniture from when our teenager (now an adult) lived down there (before the mold) has been thrown out… a bit more going through it and that stage will be done. (We have gotten mold-safe masks and suits to coverup when working down there)… So anytime someone is sick I get worried…
Things are improving (I think) but it has been hard.
Thanks again everone for sharing.
- The topic ‘Vent/Rant – sorry’ is closed to new replies.