Truthfulness?

Hi, Lindsey!

Have you thought of holding off on your requests for a minute–and ASKING her what she is intending to do next or in the next couple of minutes?  Then you’ll know what she is really thinking of doing.    Then you could say “All right, please do X” OR you might occasionally get lucky and she will look at you, look at the floor, and volunteer that she was JUST going to pick up, in which case you can smile and say “Good idea” and leave it at that.  I think if you will do this for a little bit, you’ll find that bit by bit, she DOES begin looking ahead and guessing what you might want her to do next–in which case you might end up with less directing to do.  Always a plus!

Great idea, Michelle. Sounds perfect for this situation. 

Another thought, I’ve had one or two kids who either stretched the truth or were very inventive altogether without the intent of being deceptive. I found that asking them to, “Say what really is,” was helpful to bring attention to what they were saying in a simple non-threatening way. 

Blessings, 

Christie

It is a truthfulness problem, but I see it more as a disrespect problem, not honoring the parents.  My daughter who is almost six has a phrase like yours, hers is “I know.”   She says it after everything, sometimes in a frustrated tone.  She doesn’t know, or she would be doing (or not doing) what I’m asking.  We have discussed the truthfulness issue as well which is important, but I think training in respectfulness is also needed.

So we have a rule in our house that when you are asked to do something, you respond with Yes ma’am, or okay mommy, or sure mom!  You don’t get to say anything else, unless you have a question that is important to the situation(like, May I go to the bathroom first?:), then you say Yes mommy, may I ask you a question?  Then the parent may choose to answer a question, or not(sometimes mine will ask every single time and they aren’t pressing questions so I say no unless it’s a bathroom issue).  If you train them consistently for a while like this it avoids all But…, Why?…      It leaves room for respectful discussion, but usually that isn’t needed when being asked to complete a chore.  Training in this way just helps show what it means to be respectful to those who are in authority over you (parents, boss, pastor, etc.)

Maybe that would help the practical side of it?

As an alternative to not telling the truth, is it possible, she is repeating a phrase she has heard somebody else say when they are frustrated?  Maybe she is feeling frustrated and feels like that is how people who are frustrated respond.  Maybe not even at your home, but at another house, on tv, or at a class or something?  Maybe she thinks it is the appropriate way to respond and is really not even trying to be disrespectful but doesnt’ know there is a different, more appropriate response.  We use the “Yes, mam” phrase too.