Tristan

Thank you for the sweet words. You are more than welcome to share the blog! One of the biggest reasons we’ve felt led to keep it is because 60 out of 100 babies are aborted when their parents hear the diagnosis of Spina Bifida. Babies who would have had wonderful, healthy lives. Mason’s SB is a severe case and his life is joyful.

So many doctors even push for termination (it’s worse in some areas than others, Great Britain is awful about it!) and these are your obstetrician or a perinatologist. Neither of those doctors will ever see or treat your baby after birth, so they have no idea how wrong the picture is they paint for expectant parents.

It is not uncommon to hear that your child with SB will be mentally retarded or a vegetable, will be suffering and in pain, and will never have any quality of life. And that is for babies who will have less affected by their SB than Mason. It’s sad and frustrating. I wish I could just take my son into every OB office and show them how wrong they are.

I was shocked that minutes after seeing my son moving and sucking his thumb on ultrasound the doctors offered termination. This child in my womb who could already hear us talk to him, who could move deliberately to comfort himself (thumb sucking is a comfort action), and they were willing to kill him. Can you imagine? We spent the rest of Mason’s pregnancy hearing “I’m so sorry” from every doctor and specialist as they heard Mason’s diagnosis. Well I’m not sorry! Mason’s body is imperfect, but you do not need a perfect body to come unto Christ and have hope in the resurrection. This life is temporary. Eternity awaits.

As you know I am not on the computer much at the moment, but I popped in today to see what was happening and this story struck me. When my daughter’s were born the Navy doctor’s at the hospital in Bethesda Maryland where they were born, told us that one of my daughters would amount to nothing, would be better off in a home, would never walk and never talk and he went on and on….my daughter had a grade 4 brain bleed at birth and has cerebral palsy – she was 2lbs in weight at birth and we ended up labelling him Dr Doom!

Today she is 21, walks and talks like anyone else, has a slightly weaker left side and cannot walk as fast as others. She has been an A/B student throughout her school years, including her time in PS and is extremely interested in history and politics. Does she have some issues, yes of course…she cannot hold things in her left hand if it is heavy, has some minor memory issues, which mean she must make lots of lists, and may be unable to drive a car… is she a vegetable heck no, should she have gone in a home, my goodness no, and will she be a productive and valuable member of society…yes she is and will. She cooks and bakes up a storm, is an avid reader, is caring and compassionate and can discuss anything with you.

So all those who have doctors suggest abortion or tell you your child will be a vegetable, don’t you believe it….all it takes is love, patience and the child thrives and in most cases do wonderfully well. Most people meeting my daughter for the first time do not know she has an issue, God knew what he was doing when He gave her to us. Tristan you too have been blessed and of course you know it.

Now I must get back off the computer…I have quite a few things going on and I have some eye strain at the moment, so am doing the minimum on the computer. Catching up with chores and other things that I must attend to. Take care all and hope school is going great for all.

Oh and another link you should share is this: http://www.nohandsbutours.com/category/family-stories/

Every single post on this page is about children who were born with congenital birth defects and have now been adopted into loving families, who saw them for the blessing they are in spite of their differences.

@Tristan, I know that children born with spina bifida are hard to place for adoption through China’s Waiting Children program. I have your blog bookmarked (assumed it was OK; glad to know you don’t mind sharing) in case I ever see anyone on the advocacy sights I’m on asking about SB and looking for a BTDT parent to talk to. I could just tell you’d be happy to share of your experiences being Mommy to your Mason!

I agree with you all–I’m sick of hearing “I’m so sorry!” My daughter’s lung disease is cogenial but wasn’t properly diagnosed until she was almost 5. It’s similar to cystic fibrosis, with a different cause.  She also has epilepsy, hearing loss, and severe allergies. She HATES being treated differently and shouldn’t be.  Yes, she gets sick more than other kids and yes, her medical needs require more work than the average child, but it’s changed both of us for the better. She is strong, stubborn, sweet and wonderfully made! She loves to draw, dance, swing, ride her bike, get into michief with her cousins and just act like any other 8 year old girl does! 

My mom worked for 35 years as a special ed teacher, and I can’t imagine where we would be without those kids she worked with. Every single one of them–no matter how “functional” or difficult taught us something, and brought joy to everyone they met. Christ works through these special kids and adults, not to bring suffering, but to spread joy! 

So agree! What man sees as weak, God uses for His glory!