60-day returns • free shipping on USA orders $129+
toddler tantrums – help!
- This topic has 5 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 10 months ago by
.
Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
- Posts
I am getting to the point of burnout with my two and a half year old daughter. She can be delightful and charming for the most part, but she has severe tantrums, almost past the point of being called tantrums. They are prolonged “episodes” of flailing, kicking, screaming, asking for something and immediately screaming that she doesn’t want it, all in the same breath. This usually happens either in the middle of the night or for the first few hours after waking (either in the morning or after her nap). There is no reasoning or logic. I have been given the advice to just ignore her in her room. When I do that, the tantrum can go on for an hour or more. Some people say try intense physical contact, hugging her until she calms down. This also enrages her further. Sometimes I think maybe it is because she wakes up hungry, but if she is in a fit, I cannot convince her to eat. Spanking has zero effect on this behavior. I am at my wits end. Advice? Suggestions? This afternoon after her nap she had a two hour fit and by the end of it I was a frazzled mess. It affects me and my other children. I just don’t know what to do with her.
This definitely seems unusual with it being in the middle of the night or the morning. I’d be thinking it must be something like a food sensitivity, or something similar to night terrors or something?
Wish I had some advice… just hugs!
My first thought was night terrors as well. My sister had them, but she was older when they started. It doesn’t sound like strictly a “behavior issue” to me. Have you talked to your doctor?
Could it be dietary related? Maybe gluten or dairy. Are you able to connect with a naturopath? What are typical breakfasts? Anything with food dye?
My one year old was taking tantrums in the middle of the night. It was horrible and I didn’t know what to do. He’s allergic to dairy, so I had been giving him coconut milk in his bottle. I quit doing that and the tantrums stopped. Food sensitivities are so frustrating and can be so hard to track down, but I’d look into that.
BIG HUGS going to you. We will keep your family in prayer.
I don’t have any great wisdom on this one, but we do have one child who is extremely strong willed and has food allergies, so I can sympathize with you. He did the waking up fits, tantrums, etc…he could even get so upset that he caused himself to hold his breath and pass out! That was scary!!!
My only advice would be not to set it ALL down to the food allergies or environmental factors. At that age, she is still developing self-control. So you can deal with the chemical or environmental factors affecting her behavior, but you still have to instill in her an understanding of right and wrong – what she can and can’t do.
It is unquestionably easier to instill these things once the child isn’t reacting to something in their system…but she will still have to learn to control herself and that requires consistent, loving discipline.
For us it did mean doing the ‘alone’ thing when the child was melting down. In other words, if he was going to choose to have a fit he had to choose to do it on his bed and calm himself down. This was really hard for him because he wanted to lash out at someone. That’s where the discipline came in – the child is the only one who can choose self-control. But the parent has to create an environment where there isn’t a pay-off for the child throwing a fit.
Our strong-willed guy’s fits fed on ANY interaction – he just had to be alone until he could calm down. He had to learn that hitting and saying ugly, disrespectful things isn’t acceptable. He had to learn to self-soothe. Only you know when your child is capable of doing that, but you do have a responsiblity to protect HER, protect yourself, and protect the rest of the family if she is going to choose a foolish, lashing out fit. And you are right – spanking only escalates this type of child.
Also, we found that our son internalized a lot of ‘I am a bad kid’ messages. So be sure to seperate who she is from these tantrums. Don’t view her as the ‘problem child’ or she will pick up on it.
At age 7 now, our strong willed guy is a MUCH calmer and more self-controlled child – but still more emotional than the rest of the children put together!
Hang in there – it will get better.
Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
- The topic ‘toddler tantrums – help!’ is closed to new replies.