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Time for nurturing
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Here are some thoughts I posted on my blog this morning regarding nurturing and warmth. I was hoping maybe to get some advice from some of you more seasoned ladies on how you fit in just warm, cuddly kid-mommy time when you are trying to balance a new school year, special diet, special needs, new baby…and the list goes on and on. I am trying so hard to keep balance but sometimes feel it slipping. Thanks!
http://lovesimplicityandcoffee.wordpress.com/2012/08/23/nurturing/
I think this is always hard to balance and especially comes out when a baby is in the house. The newly made big brother or sister has to find a new place, but they want lots of reassurance that they’re still your baby too.
My 7th baby is 7 months old (my oldest is 11, so lots of little ones in a row). We homeschool too. What I try to do is spend time with little ones frequently, even if it’s just five minute snuggles with a short book. Bring the baby along. Sit on the floor and lay the baby beside you while the little one gets your lap for the length of a book or two (or as long as the baby will be content on the floor beside you).
Then do a lot of including the little one in your cleaning/cooking/housework activities while providing lots of positive praise for the things they can do becuase they’re bigger/older than the baby.
Good luck! The balance shifts all the time because everyone is growing into new ages/stages all the time.
Both of my little ones are adopted from difficult circumstances, so I feel like the nurturing component of Mothering little ones is even more urgent. I try to build that nurturing into our day in multiple places. Cuddles when we wake up in the morning, cuddles before nap, cuddles after nap, cuddles before bed. I try to use gentle touch on their back or hair in the course of our day- while serving them food, while coloring, while cleaning up toys, etc. I try to make sure that I pause in the midst of busy-ness to give them my full attention whenthey need it, even when it is inconvenient or uncomfortable for me.
I havent always found it possible to be ahead of their need for more, but I try to meet it every time so they know they can count on my respone.
With my 7 kids, ages 1yr. – 15 yrs old, I have found that eye contact can mean the world to them. Sometimes I am so busy that when they need something or ask a question, I just keep going and talk At them not TO them. If I take the minute to stop what I am doing and look them in the eye and choose how I am speaking to them, they are much happier. Getting down on their level , smiling and making “listening” sounds so they know I am really hearing them, that really tells a child they are important. I know that whenever we have had a new baby in the house, all my kids go through a testing time. It don’t matter how old they are , they just want to make sure they are still loved, wanted and have a place in our family. This last for a few weeks to a few months , depending on the child. But at some point they move past it and all is well on the home-front again.
🙂
Oh, I forgot to mention that if you have not read the new version of The Five Love Languages of Children then it is a must read! You’ve got to speak love in the way each child feels it for them to really feel loved and fill their little tanks. Wonderful book – check your library or pick it up on Amazon. 100% worth it!
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