The habit of Order (putting things away where they belong)

I am an “everything in its place” person, always have been. My kids… did not get it naturally, it is a work in progress.

I start by simply helping them. I didn’t just say “clean up” I would say “Help me tidy up the house, If you do the blocks I will put away the dress up clothes” By helping them and showing how fast it can be, they are now really fast at cleaning up.

Having less things helps a lot. Less to make a mess with and less to clean up. Ever since we downsized things (the kids things like toys and even my things like extra kitchen tools and even bed linens and towels) keeping things orderly has become much easier.

I also have come to realize that the kids idea of tidy is going to be different than mine; so I am trying to relax when it comes to their bedrooms and encouraging them to find what works for them. They are, compaired to most of their friends very tidy, but for me it seems messy (my personality); so I encourage them to keep what they love (since my daughter likes to keep all her papers) and help her find what works for her to keep things picked up and put away.

We have started to do “10 minute tidies” a few times per day, before lunch, before supper and before bed. I think this was a fly lady idea. The kids work better and faster with the timer on.

We just started this habit at our house with 2 boys, ages 5 & 6.  We are starting with toys.  Toys should not be outside of designated toy areas (so not in the bathroom, the hallway, the kitchen, etc.).  For the 1st week I am going to give them a 5 minute warning before I head through the house in search of toys in the wrong area.  They get to run through the house and pick up those toys (they think this is fun actually).  After a week or two, I am not going to announce my “inspections” and just take the toys and put them up on the fridge for a week.  So they’ll learn that they lose whatever toys they leave in the wrong spots.  

As far as picking up their toys and putting them in the appropriate toy bins, I only make them do this before company comes or once a week so I can vacuum.  I guess I am pretty lax about that, but they’re not too bad with their mess and they are usually very compliant about picking up when the time comes, so i don’t make them do it every night.

@jmac — that is a great question! How do you get them to *want* that habit? I look forward to enlightened responses. The only thought I have is to have them focus on the positive outcome of that habit (rather than the potentially negative consequence of not having the habit).

For example, regarding the habit of orderliness – a number of years ago I was working on this with some of my kids and the bane of my existence was the kitchen table and the island/counter. They just seemed to be a magnet for papers, clutter, etc. And it was the first thing we always saw when we came in the house through the garage (which we usually did). So once we got it to clear flat surfaces, I actually tried to draw attention to how it made each person FEEL to wallk in to that, instead of walking in to what it was previously (the norm). It was actually a pretty powerful experience, because we all became much more aware of the effect of that clutter on our emotional state, stress level, etc.  Those positive feelings helped to engage the will (theirs and mine) to keep the surfaces clear. 

Having said that, those kids are grown and out of the house now, and now it seems those flat surfaces have returned to torment me. So…ya… I still feel the truths of the exercise, but that is a habit whose rails are overgown with weeds and bushes — time to clear the track again down to the rails! 😉