Kathi,
I thought I was reading my own bio in your post! We had/have the exact same situation. I will try to make a 7 year story short 🙂 by saying that two things I am so glad we purposed to teach our children was that God can be fully trusted and the blessing of being under authority. This is because the arts offer lots of opportunities to have to say no to a child. It is an area fraught with many pits and requires much prayer. I had difficulty discerning what was God’s calling and what was just the child’s desire. My thought was always, “Of course you like it, everyone likes applause!” – – But I tend to be a little harsh, perhaps.
Having said all of that, we now have a college student majoring in musical theater at Liberty University with the goal of teaching what she was never able to learn. And that is that music theater can be done in an excellent fashion with modesty. And I still pray, earnestly.
Here are just a few tips that we learned (some the hard way, btw). You have probably already thought of these; it’s just that having been in a number of sticky situations I feel like I’m waving a warning flag. So, forgive me if I’m overbearing:
Ask up front what the recital costumes will be and state your own expectations. Look at photos of past recitals to get a feel for what the instructor means if he/she says ‘modest.’ Ask what the song will be that they are dancing to and then look up the lyrics and read them. If it’s a musical, get a copy of the script and read it through. Picture your daughter in any of the parts and ask yourself if you could take your pastor to see it. Practice saying, No, my child can’t do that. Be deadly honest with any prospective instructor so that come recital or performance time, they are not out on a limb without your daughter and you are not stuck with a $150 costume fee.
As for selections, my children were in The Sound of Music, Annie, Cinderella, Suessical Musical (which I regret because of the costume selections), and a couple of ‘reviews’ (which I also regret because I did not know what was coming on stage next 🙁 ). I’ve also seen at Voice of the Martyrs a musical about Richard and Sabina Wurmbrand that I thought might be interesting. I’m sure others have many more suggestions.
My posts are always too long 😳 but that’s the extent of our theater experience.
Blessings,
Cindy