Teens attending parties

Nebby…

I am probably an unlikely person to respond to this post; as I have a 7, 6 and 4 year old.  But, funny thing is, I was at book club last night.  We are reading Charlotte Mason’s book, Formation of Character Vol. 5.  The rest of the mom’s have teenage kids and we had lengthy talks on this very subject.  (Kids being on sport teams and clubs etc… with kids that don’t live lives like the mom’s I am studying with do.  Lots of these kids are in public school situations with coaches and other kids. I am not sure what your situation is..ie; if this is Christian group of kids.  These kids were hearing and seeing all sorts of things that the moms were having to deal with through discussion. )

Anyway, one mom considered her boys men at 16.  Some said how they felt it was good to have them in these types of situations some times, because they do still come back home, talks can be had and shaping can still be done.  ie; they come back to home base and there is open talk about the world.

The chapter we were discussing was Volume 5, Formation of Character, Chapter 5.  Maybe you might enjoy reading, because Charlotte basically is reminding folks how important it is to consistently monitor our kids dealings with outside influences and it is so important to know who they are going to be with.

I think we moms feel guilty (believe it or not I feel it with my kids so young, so I imagine teen age years are even more challenging because they have an opinion of what they want to do.) because  we don’t allow them in certain situations and limit they exposure to the outside world. I am so picky about where I leave my kids.  My husband and I have gone through great pains, because we just never feel safe leaving them with most people. (even family) Consequently, we don’t get to go out as much.  We have trouble going to Dr appts. We don’t leave town much.  We sacrifice a lot, to make sure we know they are safe and surrounded by what we want them surrounded by.

I heard both sides from different mom’s last night.  Some thinking their kids were at the age they wanted them to start experiencing certain things.  Some really still keeping en eye out for where they go, who they hang around, and seeing that through until they are out of the house.

I tend to lean towards the latter, but I have a long way to go.  Things always surprise me and always change.  However, I had a very different life than my children and I was exposed to all sorts of things too early.  It did not benefit me.  So, I come from that angle too.  I think a lot of our decisions come from our experiences.  I think we have to stay strong and not let society pull us in, when our guts are telling us we should keep our values.  It matters who kids hang around, what they see, what they read, what they listen to.  I don’t think that changes with age, until parents are ready to ‘let them go’.  It seemed, last night, that was the major difference with this group of moms.  They all had different ideas of what that age is.

Anyway, if you have the books, you may enjoy reading the chapter.  Maybe it will help!

🙂

Blessings,

Renee

This is a struggle for me also, because my parents live right next door and they live their lives very differently than we do. My children, ds 21, ds15, ds 8 and dd 11 aren’t allowed to visit or stay if my father is home because of the tv shows he chooses to watch. My children go with me everywhere and even in waiting rooms at doctors or ER’s, I’m not afraid to ask for the tv to be turned off.

Can you stay at the party the whole time? Can you ask the mom to have electronic free time, so all the kids can have the benefit of interacting? During down time can board games be played or a physical activity like kick-ball in the backyard? Does the mother have rules about no intimate contact between the opposite sex.

If your friend isn’t on the same page as yourself, skip the party and go home and watch a movie and have a party at your house with friends another time where more control can happen in your own home. I am a protective mother that is entrusted to guard the hearts of my tender hearted, minded children and I take it seriously, as do you wonderful ladies on this forum!

I hope this helps in some way. Martha