Teenager question!

I agree that some independent research could be helpful. He can make it as hard and detailed as he chooses. That would help him to feel more in control of his own learning. Not only could this help him now, it will be good practice for research papers later on. Allowing him to choose the subject is a boon, too, because it’s not the ‘substance’ you are necessarily after, but the learning to do research. Better for him to pick a subject he is willing to live with for awhile! I had a student this age that wrote a mini-research paper on skateboarding, of all things. The only caveat I would put on it is that you need to come to an agreement on what the end product will look like and set some boundaries on the time allotted for this project. I’ve learned the hard way that some student’s desire to do independent research turns into so much surfing the internet following meaningless details, bunny trails, and dropped projects (which all equals a very discouraged child).

Another idea might be to allow him some input on what books he does read within the subjects and parameters you have set for him.

I am also a firm believer in reading together as a family until the children leave the home. As they get older, that does really become just one book, plus our family devotions and anything I happen to be reading at a mealtime to the younger ones. My husband’s and my motivation in that is to continue to ‘preach’ at the children through our selection of books without actually ‘preaching’, if you get my meaning. 😉

Just some suggestions to take to your husband and the Lord!

Blessings,

Cindy

Anna, you said that you think some of what you posted was misleading…at a crossroads with the classical vs. cm… Do you think your concerns were addressed? I got the impression that your son is advanced and needing something more.

Anna Christine, my daughters were also in PS and struggled initially with CM when their friends all had what seemed like more stuff to do. They eventually realized that a lot of PS is busy work, but listening to them and after prayer and discussion we came up with the following, which has worked for us. By the way we still read aloud and my daughters are 17. We have family read aloud time with dad, and I always have one book on the go, that we read aloud, each taking turns in the afternoon with tea. It is one of our favorite things to do. Sometimes we read a play and act the roles, other times we just read. They read 99% of their books themselves, but we love the read aloud times too much to give it up.

the girls wanted to mix CM with some textbooks, so we came up with a plan together to do that. We use Apologia science, but they also read living science books in the areas that interest them. We do math the same way – textbooks and video lessons, with the tests and anything else that helps the math stick. For literature, we did a short literary analysis course from IEW a few years ago and I now give them a list of books and they choose which they want to read. They then do written narrations, and analysis essays from what they have read. Some books we just have them read for pleasure, and some for analysis/narration. The list is long, they have lots of choice, but it is all very excellent literature, no twaddle. They do copywork and still really enjoy it, I don’t use it as a subject -it is just something they still like to do. We did use Winston Grammar for a quick refresher, but that was all that was necessary with the copywork doing the rest, they have always been strong writers. For history, we are using a text as an outline – we also have a history reading list of biographies and political books which they also read from and they read historical fiction, non fiction and articles from magazines like World. They write essays and we have lots and lots of discussion. We also watch documentaries and appropriate movies. They write a lot and I have given them both a writer’s handbook to help them with some things that might confuse them. For Bible, we use the Bible and read, then discuss what we have read. One daughter saw a friend doing Alpha Omega Lifepacs on “The Life of Christ” and she asked if she could do that course – we had no problem with that so we got them for her, and she really enjoyed them. We are learning German through “Tell Me More” and it has been successful, helped by the fact I speak almost fluent German. We learn Geography with our history and through games and reading.

This is not pure CM, but I do not worry about that – I wanted the girls to have a lot of input into what we do and we all pretty much came up with this. This of course may not work for others, but I think we all have to find our own way to make this work, and not be too worried about what others think. I love the CM way of homeschooling, and would recommend it to anyone, however, the girls PS experience, made it a harder sell than it would have been had they always been homeschooled. So we did what worked for us, and I think with prayer and lots of discussion with your son – you will come to have a really good plan as well. One of the nicest things I have found about high school, has been the discussions that we all enjoy and being able to allow the girls to study their own particular interests through their reading and writing. Your son is about to experience the wonders of that – he is at an age where he can really take off with his learning. Perhaps you could find him some really interesting and excellent music books for him to study if music is a special passion of his, also give him a wide and varied list of books to read and have him discuss them with you and write about them. I wish you lots of luck and don’t be discouraged – we all have slightly different paths I am sure.

Anna Christine,

Well, I’m not sure I would recommend this, but I’m going to say it anyway. If your son is feeling pressured to learn the same subjects that his peers are, why not get your hands on a couple/few of their textbooks and shape his education around that? Then, like missingtheshire says, tailor it to his own level and giftings.

I love her post, by the way. It has such the flavor of what we are trying to accomplish here; giving big pushes in their gifts and little nudges in their areas of weakness. It may be, too, that your son needs to ‘catch the vision’ of all of this and realize that schooling is not a contest of who studies the most, but of discovering his life’s plan in the Lord (which I understand is difficult when the knocks keep coming from peers!). That is why I started out saying I’m not sure I would recommend the textbook contents thing, because it sounds like ‘let’s all be like the Jones.’ But it likely would not harm anything because he would still be learning and progressing.

I obviously cannot say that this is your son, but my own experience is that when my children have similar thoughts, it’s important to continue to point them to the Lord and encourage them that He is trustworthy, He makes no mistakes (like in putting them in this family 🙂 ) and He truly does have a plan for their lives. We talk about tailor making our children’s education, but God has us in school also and all of our struggles are precious, hand-picked gifts from Him to grow our faith.

You are blessed! As I read your post, I pictured a bucket that just wants so much to be filled but just can’t quite get enough. Your son, given the opportunity to hone his gifts, will make a true impact on the world. And your son is blessed to have you for a mother because I see you searching for the best for him. As you pray with your husband and with your son, God will give you opportunities-perhaps even outside the home-that you never dreamed of. God is able to think outside of the box because He lives there! 😉 I am so excited for you!

Blessings,

Cindy

I am late to this conversation but I just wanted to add my 2 bits:) I have three graduated homeschooled young adults and am still schooling 2 at home. 14yods and 9yodd. My 14 yo is creative like your son but not motivated at all. I need prayer for him and me so I can learn to ‘nudge’ at the right moments. What caught my eye was the reference to public school vs home school. My oldest dd now 23 and married wanted to go to public school in grade 12. Sad mamma, but, after her whole schooling at home, she wanted to graduate with her friends and wear a pretty dress, etc etc. SO, after much prayer and debate we decided that she had her grounding firm and it couldn’t hurt her( small school, total of 23 grads!) Off she went in September, a wee bit nervous but mostly excited. Fast forward to early December. Her main comment to me was “wow, mom, do we ever waste a LOT of time in class. The teacher gives us his bit, we read what we are told to read then we kill the rest of the hour with twaddle” I laughed at her use of the word twaddle:) Anyhow, she finished the year, realized her options at home had been far broader, but scooped several scholarships and pd for her first year college. That was good, but the best part was her realizing all the education she had been getting at home was real, valid, and useful.  Hang in there, your son is doing great! He may also be hitting the 14yo wall that boys often hit where they just have so much energy and testosterone that they don’t know what to do with. we live rural so my boys could go split wood, you may find him needing a physical outlet as well as encouragement that his level of learning is indeed up to par. Keep on going:) Oh,and my dd spent most of her life at home as the only girl in a house of boys so I get that part too:p Keep looking up and laughing too!

Heidi S.