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Teen boys!
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My 13 year who is very ADHD (but not on medicine) is really dealing with a difficult time of getting anything done. He is really struggling with being honest and respectful. He will lie about something small just so he won’t get in trouble or to do something he wants to do. He also talks over other people all the time and really doesn’t show much self-control Any suggestions for practical tips?
He is involved in basketball and airsoft but with Covid, a lot of activities got shut down this year. I try to get him outside at least a couple of hours a day.
I am looking for very practical tips. Thanks!!
Raising Real Men by Haland Melanie Young is a great book to read concerning boys. They have 6 boys themselves so come from a place of experience and wisdom. They also have a private FB group where they share wisdom and thoughts.
13 is a hard age. Hormones are going crazy along side peer pressure and expectations (real or “imagined”) Raising Real Men book gave me great insight into the workings of the puberty hormone flooded brain as well as thoughts as to how to keep them busy and on track.
The hard part is that a lot of it is “normal” but that does not mean it is acceptable. It can be hard not to get pulled into their roller coaster of emotions and keep a level head. Last year a mom of twin boys who are now adults said she would make her boys run laps around the neighborhood in early teen years when they were getting difficult. It was not punishment, she would just tell them “go run a lap” and when they would get back she and her son could much more easily talk. I have a friend who has her son run the stairs. The sound makes her batty, but it burns off her son’s frustration hormones so he is easier to talk to. I know for my 13 year old son when he gets in that pent up festering mood he needs to move his body and not just ride his bike, but physically work hard such as chopping wood. It has been hard with shut downs, and we have had to get creative too.
Sorry not a lot of practical advice, it is challenging as every family is different, but the book has been a great help to me, I suggest to all my friends with boys 🙂
I love the book “Wild Things” by David Thomas. A great look and the stages of boyhood with practical advice for every area. Be warned, the author is not shy! Also available on Audible. -Nathan
Hi Rhonda,
I think it’s fascinating that I popped on here just on a whim today. I was part of this forum when it first started and for a number of years thereafter. My kids are mostly all grown now-our youngest of eight is a junior now! I saw your post and it brought back lots of memories. I had a son just like that and if I could do it again, one thing I would definitely do is to allow him much more freedom in his studies. I believe kids with ADHD are brilliant people. I know that when I had my son do personal interest projects, and his dad and I got invested with him, he flourished. I did not do that enough and made obedience to “my way” more important than feeding his creativity and curiosity. I could go on and on, but I do not know if you think this could apply to your situation. You asked for practical tips, and that is one I thought of. I’d be happy to discuss further if you think it would be helpful.
Blessings,
Cindy
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