My son is 14 years-old and incredibly immature. He is always trying to be funny, but I rarely find anything he says funny. Maybe it’s just me. We are struggling right now because we are house hunting and living in an apartment. He goes to a co-op twice a week, plays guitar, takes karate, goes to church and youth. It is hard for him to get outside right now because of our living situation. This summer, I am going to have him work for me and have already started training him to do some things for my business and have started to pay him. However, he is unreliable, unmotivated and just incredibly immature. He is brilliant and talented but I am pulling my hair out and really need him to man up a little. I am single parent (through adoption) and take care of my mother who lives with us. His immaturity is really become an issue for me. I realize part of it is his age. Thoughts or suggestions?
I have read Hal and Melanie Young’s books and am really trying to give him more responsibility and physical things to do but need more suggestions.
I hear ya, mamma. My 14 year old is driving me nuts. But I teach at a Christian school and the boys that are about a year older than he is made me want to quit my job last year and are actually pleasant to be around this year. I even have a nephew who is just a few months older than my son who recently switched from miserable to pleasant. I think a lot of it is age. So, I have hope! I just keep praying, keep teaching, keep giving responsibilities and trying to come up with good consequences when he doesn’t do it.
Thank you for your encouragement. It’s to the point, that I am starting to behave badly as well. I am not always gracious or merciful when he does everything he can to push my buttons. I need to spend more time praying about my attitude as well. The teen years are tough and I don’t have a father figure for my son. He does have male influences in his life but not someone who can back me up on discipline. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Teens are tough. Perhaps having male role models for him to work with/for outside of the home might be helpful? Teenage boys are tough, but sometimes a physical outlet helps–like doing yard work–or being around men who are mature and hold the values you want him to mimic. 14-year-old boys test their limits. Hang in there! It sounds like you are doing the right things.
Thank you for your response. I really appreciate it. Right now, because we are in an apartment, not a house, we have less options for physical outlets but are doing the best we can!
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