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struggling…
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This year we found a piano teacher to come into our home and give lessons…
Some issues we’ve had: She’s always, always at least 10 minutes late. She always goes over – sometimes WAY over the lesson time. I haven’t said anything because I actually felt bad complaining about extended lessons, considering we don’t pay for that extra time. The thing is though, it throws our schedule off and inconveniences us on many occasions. She is often too harsh with my middle kiddo, although this has improved since I started making my presence more known during lessons. She isn’t mean, she’s just short with her. She would correct her by saying “no, no, NO!” but not try to explain what it was that was wrong. She also throws out terminology and expects the kids to know what she means but she doesn’t teach it. She gives us a weekly “lesson” on one topic or another. It’s become a bit of a joke, to be honest. This week we were informed how far after the “best before” date you should consume milk. We’ve also been privy to talks on terrorism, Christianity/Christmas trees and other topics. I have sent the kids out of the room and refuse to engage in the conversation and she will just keep talking.
I have tried to address the late issue, asking her to be on schedule, as we had appointments later that day. She actually argued with me about how long I needed to get from my house to the appointment, left late and said “oh well, you can’t complain. We are finishing pretty close to when you asked.” I was speechless.
We do not have a written contract with her, but there is an understanding that lessons are to run from Sept to June. I don’t know how to word things to address the issues. At this point I just want to fire her and be done with it. My middle kiddo no longer wants to play at all and my oldest is asking for guitar lessons next year. They were both so excited to start piano. I am so disappointed that this was their first experience with lessons. 🙁
I could really use some prayers and advice on how to handle this situation.
I’ll pray. I would fire her, in case you were wondering. You hired her. She isn’t working within your requirements and sounds outright disrespectful of you.
I would fire her immediately. You have discussed at least some of the issues with her, and she has not complied with your wishes. You pay her to teach piano, not dairy expiration dates.
If you don’t have a signed contract with her, then out she goes. Perhaps teaching private lessons is not really what she is meant to do.
I would fire her immediately, also. She is not kind to your child at all times. Not cool that you have to be in the room for her to act decent. She insists on her own conversation topics even when it is obvious it is not something you want discussed in your home. She is not respectful of the time agreed upon. She was not respectful when you spoke to her about. She has squelched your children’s desire to learn. For the sake of your children, I would tell her not to return.
Maybe after a break, they’d want to start lessons again with someone else. This also could be a very good opportunity to discuss respect of others. She was not respectful. She was self-absorbed. She got fired.
I’m a piano teacher, and used to travel to my students’ houses.
There are times when being late is unavoidable — but not every week. Otherwise, the lesson time needs to be changed.
Have you paid her in advance for the lessons? Really, if you’re paying her week to week, you can fire her any time. If you’re paying her by the month, I think you ought to either use up your month or just forfeit it and be glad she’s out of your house and life.
Fire her over the phone or do it in person, it really doesn’t make a difference. If she’s that rude and disrespectful, I’d fire her over the phone. Nicely, of course. I wouldn’t stoop to her level. But something as simple as, “We need to discontinue lessons for this season of our lives. When we feel that lessons will fit back into our lives, we’ll take up lessons again. Thank you for the time you’ve given our children. If you need a reference, please feel free to give my name and phone number.”
(And then when/if people call you, you can be honest with them. Nice, but honest.)
How old is she? I honestly don’t think it is disrespectful to talk about those things…depending on how she talks about them. I mean, if you have said, “you are only to talk to my kids about music” that’s one thing, but if she just brings them up and you don’t respond, she might not even realize you don’t want to hear. I had an older piano teacher and we talked about LOTS of things. I was a very outgoing child and it was really fun for me. She was an old lady who probably needed someone to make her feel useful.
Now, the always late and going over thing is different. (Though, the rudeness of that is entirely cultural.) If it isn’t working, you can just say that it isn’t working.
Thanks all! She is around 60 or so, I would say? I am a horrible guesser of age. Some topics, I simply don’t care (like the milk thing, no big deal) – but discussing terrorism with my 5 year old is different. When she started on that, it was in regards to a news event and I immediately told her that we hadn’t brought it up with the kids because of their age. She continued to discuss it in the lesson room with them at some point during the lesson. I was teaching my son at the time and didn’t know about it until after.
In her mind, I think she is being quite enlightening. I think we got to this point because each issue, on it’s own, is a small thing – but when you put them all together it gets to be a bit much.
She does private lessons for a living and I feel very bad cutting her income unexpectedly, so we have been trying to make it work. The cons are outweighing the pros though and it’s getting tough to keep moving forward…
Let her go. If she discusses topics you have specifically told her not to, that is disrespectful of you as a parent and is not something you need to put up with and I’d dismiss her just for that.
Also, you said she isn’t necessarily very kind while teaching and your child has lost any love of piano she started with. So the teaching style isn’t matching at all. You don’t want to pay someone to be unkind to your kids and make them hate the instrument.
Whenever someone is fired there is an unexpected drop in their income. That doesn’t stop companies and people from firing people who are not an asset to their company (or even more, someone detrimental to their company – which is the case here.)
Just my 2 cents.
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