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Spiritual Disciplines
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Hi everyone!
Some recent posts have me pondering a question. Forgive me if this is too much on a personal note but I would love to how you all fit in your quiet time with the Lord. This always seems to be the struggle of the day while at the same time I know that it’s the most important part. It seems that a lot of mothers I’ve talked to recently (including myself) struggle with the “time” issue of this vital need. Any thoughts would be helpful!
Blessings to you and yours many times over again and again!
Hi,
For me, I have a number of things that I must be sure will happen each morning; a time in my prayer closet being the most important one (laundry is another, but that’s a subject for another day – and thread 🙂 ). So, I wrote down those items and how long I wanted to spend on each and then backed them up from the time I want to be ready for the children. That put me at about 4:15 a.m. So, that’s what I do. I can nap later in the day, and I obviously need to get to bed at a decent hour at night. I do have times that I miss, but it is not often. Summer can be challenging since we like to stay up later – but then the children sleep longer, too. Also, as the children have gotten older and I am able to pass more responsibility off to them, I find that I still like that early morning time.
The other thing I do is remember that if I wake up in the middle of the night I need to stop laying there worrying about how late it is getting and spend that time in prayer.
Blessings,
Cindy
I’ve found that what “works” changes. I’ve had times where early morning worked. I’ve had times where right before bed worked. I recently had a “quiet reading hour” habit in my home that was working very well for my time, but then had to go to work part-time in the afternoons, so now I’m back to hodge-podge. I’ve had days where I tacked up scriptures by my rocking chair and meditated on them while nursing, and stuck my prayer list on the window over the sink for when I was doing dishes. I have a friend who keeps a Bible in the bathroom. 🙂 What works for me is just deciding on a time, and then trying to not let anything interfere–making a “date” with myself that I try to keep. I love my children and dh and want to serve them, but also want to show them (the children, anyway) by example how very important spending time with the Lord is. So I enlist their help. I remember one season, though, that when I got my toddlers to bed, the baby would just not nap. LOL I remember taking him and my scriptures up on my bed, and I’d read and pray while snuggling, playing with toes and singing little hymns for him. It took awhile, but got the job done. As an added benefit, if he ever DID fall asleep–I was right there and could nap too. LOL
I’d perhaps talk it over with your dh and ask him to help you find and set up a time, even if it’s only twenty minutes–IMO a little bit, consistently, seems to do me more good than an hour that only happens occasionally.
Your Father wants you to talk to Him desperately, and I think He will help you find a way!
Michelle D
Cindy, I had to chuckle when I read your post because you, my dear, are the direct opposite of me in this respect. If I tried to have my quiet time at 4:15 AM (or do anything that requires brain cells, really) it would be interrupted by the sounds of my own snoring! 😀 I am definitely a night person, and I definitely need my sleep. These days I go to bed around midnight or so and get up around 8 AM. (When I was visiting Iowa, I was automatically going to sleep at 11 and getting up at 7, their time. That worked pretty well!) I used to feel guilty about getting up later than some of my friends, but then they would go to bed earlier than I did. So I figure, it’s the same hours of sleep, just shuffled forward or backward on the clock, right?
Anyway, over the years my quiet time settled into the after-lunch time box. When the children were little, they woke me up early. Well, maybe I should say that they *got* me up early. I never really woke up until about 8. But I was so groggy that a quiet time in the mornings was just a fight to keep my eyes open. So I started having my quiet time when they took their naps. And you know, that time of day has worked well for me. The children are old enough that they don’t have nap time anymore, but that after-lunch time box still works in our schedule and with my body clock.
All that to say, do what works best. But don’t be deceived into thinking that the “magic” time slot will make it easy (easier maybe, but not easy). The enemy will always have tasks and interruptions to distract us, no matter when we sit down to devote our thoughts toward the Lord and His Word. I love Bookworm’s creativity in handling the issues of the moment while still displaying sanctified stubbornness (if there is such a phrase). The Lord knows our hearts; He knows whether we long to have those still moments with Him.
Oh, dear, I may have come across as quite ‘holy’ to get up so early. That was not my intent. It was the method of reaching that conclusion that should be highlighted in my post, not the result. I probably should have kept specifics to myself.
Blessings,
Cindy (mother to numerous nightowls and nightowl wannabees)
Actually, I think the specifics are VERY helpful, dear. I’ve met several moms who just need to be told that someone else gets up at 4:15 am too, like they do; or that someone else gets up at 8:00 am too, like they do. Somehow it’s reassuring to know that they’re not the only ones.
And your explanation of how you got to that time of day is great and very helpful. Thanks! You didn’t come across as ‘holy’ at all (oh, that may not sound right — LOL).
THANK YOU!!! Thank you csmama for posting this question and thank all you ladies for your gracious responses. This is something that has troubled me for some time and I love the insight and encouragement (without the legalism) that all of you have displayed. I am a nightowl, but my dh is a morning person… as are most of my children. I’ve been struggling with my quiet time, with starting school at a decent hour, and with getting my morning chores done. All of you have encouraged me to take another look at my schedule and this morning I actually got up early enough to have my quiet time and take a shower before breakfast. 🙂
Please don’t apologize for specifics. I am not a naturally organized person (obviously) and feel tremendously grateful for all your ideas. This was a wonderful titus 2 conversation for my week… thank you and God’s grace to you all.
I have to say that you are all so encouraging! Thank you for sharing. This area of my life seems to have been put on hold since new baby #3 has been born. Thank you, Michelle, for reminding me that what works usually changes – as I have found this to be true. Cindy, don’t feel bad about specifics – they’re great and much needed. I was actually encouraged by your hunger for God (and the need to get laundry done)inorder to get up that early. 🙂
Sonya, I think I’ve been waiting for that magic time slot to open up. LOL Yes, I think I will enjoy finding creative moments to spend with the ONE I need (and love) most. I have to remind myself that He is always waiting for us to come to Him – that He doesn’t “hide” his face from us just because we’ve been away for awhile. What a great Father in Heaven we have!
Thanks, Ladies for sharing with me – and if anyone else feels lead to share – please have at it! 🙂
Love to you
Heather
I’m more of a morning person (I naturally wake up at about 7am). But nobody else is. I try to get up around 6am so that I can have some time of quiet to read my Bible and do one chore. Ideally, to do all that I want to do with that time, I need to get up earlier than that. But the problem is that I fizzle out before anybody else. My dh complains that I’m pretty much a zombie by dinner time, which is true. But I just can’t keep up with him. And with home-schooling and the cooking (we’re on a diet for celiac of no starches or sugar), I don’t really have time for a nap. My dh puts the kids to bed but I usually end up in bed before them. This is an issue I’ve been dealing with for years. Nobody else wants to change, so I guess I have got to learn how to deal with it.
To be gut-wrenchingly honest, my biggest hindrance to having a quiet time is the computer. While the coffee is brewing, I say to myself that I’ll just check my email and then I’m on the computer till the kids get up. Then I’ve lost my “quiet time”.
So, this summer, I’m seeking the Lord on how to adjust my schedule to make the most of my time and to have that uninterrupted (as much as possible at least) time with Him.
Ideas appreciated.
Blessings,
Betty
Hi Betty,
Here are a couple of ‘rubber meets the road’ ideas if you are trying to have that time in the morning: 1. Ask your husband to password protect your computer and then don’t tell you the password. That way he turns it on in the morning. 2. Put your coffee maker and Bible, pen, journal, etc. upstairs, in your room, in a room on the opposite end of the house from your computer…you get the picture. 3. Get an accountability partner (preferably your husband). 4. Make sure you are instituting a ‘quiet time’ in the afternoon (I tell my children that even the house needs quiet) and then turn off the computer (you can get one of your children to be in charge of turning it off and on). This may be a way to have your personal devotions in the afternoon and still have energy for your husband. I can tell that you know that honoring him in this must take priority in your schedule.
I am one that has to be cornered into developing a better habit, so I can understand your challenge. Perhaps you will not need as harsh training as I do! 🙂
Blessings,
Cindy
Betty,
I loved your post because I am in exactly the opposite situation. My brain doesn’t seem to wake up much before 9 a.m., even if my eyes are open. My dh and my dc are all morning people. They hit the ground running and I always feel like I’m behind. Then, they are all pooped out by 9:00 and I’m up ’til 12:30 in the morning. I’ve been convicted about changing my schedule for the benefit of my family, but it is REALLY hard. As you can see a few posts above, I’ve been making baby steps, but God is really working in my weakness! 🙂 Also, I’ve been contemplating the whole idea of God calling us to die to self. Sometimes it is less about when our bodies are able to do things at optimum levels and more about finding ways to make our husbands and children priorities. I tried the whole going to bed earlier… and I lay there for hours. Now, I’ve reconciled to getting up earlier and I arrange my days so that I can take a nap. Other (non supportive) people in my life make comments about how it must be nice to take naps during the day, but I know that’s the only way I can meet the needs of my family and still get the rest my body needs to function.
All of that is to say I’ll be praying you find that time you desperately need to accomplish all God has given you to do. He will make a way.
Oh Betty, thank you for being so honest about your biggest hinderance. I can totally relate with the temptation to “just check e-mails” – losing that precious quiet time with the Lord. I have actually refused to even turn my computer on in the morning – shutting it down at night. Alot of homeschool moms I’ve talked to mention that the internet is one of the biggest time wasters (though at the same time – it can be a big time saver such as with the cm organizer here). The only idea I have for you is one that I myself am experimenting with – keeping the computer turned off until later in the day. I think that for myself (to be gut-wrenchingly honest with you *smile*) I’ve gone to the computer for fellowship instead of to my Heavenly Father. This saddens me -all the time I’ve lost out on in getting to know Him more. So, unfortunalty I can not say that I am in any place to tell you what you should do – as I myself struggle with and am tempted to click & type away my precious morning hours. I’ve even gone so far as to ask my husband if we can just cancel the internet – and my boys and I can just use the internet at the library, at Grandmas house or dh’s office. However, then I would miss out on the use of the CM organizer daily hmmmmm… I think we’re in a battle these “information age” days. I know that for me, I need to constantly remember to lay aside everything that keeps me away from what is really important. I’ve missed out on time, on fellowship with the Lord, fellowship with my children – all because I’ve been tempted with this box. Even if I’ve lost 15 minutes – I feel like its too much. All that said, you are not alone. Lets pray and ask God what we can do to let go of all the things that steal us away from fellowship with Him – and then ask for His Grace to carry us through.
Blessings to you in the Lord!
Heather
Just a thought…Maybe we could find a scripture that personally speaks to us about this issue and tape it over the computer screen at night before we go to bed – thus remembering, as we get our coffee brewing the next day, just WHO our morning belongs to. 🙂
Jen ~ I have to say what a splendid idea you have to get up early and nap later to compensate. I’m going to really have to contemplate this one. 🙂
Blessings to you!
Heather
I know, leave it to me as your webmaster to suggest a geeky solution, but this might help those of us who are drawn to check e-mail in the morning. 🙂
There are a whole bunch of daily Bible reading and devotional RSS feeds at the ESV Bible Web site. Find one you like and copy the URL. Then go over to RSS FWD, paste in the URL, and follow the prompts to enter your e-mail address, etc.
Now your devotional reading plan will arrive in your e-mail box each day. Many of the feeds also include a link to listen to an audio version of the Bible passage if you prefer it that way.
Wow Doug, that’s a GREAT idea! I especially like the audio option.
Heather, thanks for sharing your struggles too. What’s funny is that this past year I’ve struggled with some health issues (chronic fatigue, celiac) and it is harder and harder to wake up early. In fact, I’ve been told by the doctor to get more sleep. As my family is more of the night-owl sort, maybe I need to adjust?
If I wake up at 7am, I am plagued with guilt during the day for such an indulgence! I feel like I’m behind and that the kids should be up (sometimes they are and there goes “quiet time”). But maybe I just need to switch gears in my brain and adjust my expectations?
I’d love to nap in the afternoon but my 4yo often naps in the afternoon and that is our best homeschooling time (no interruptions). Also, whenever I do get the opportunity to take a nap, that’s the day I stare at the ceiling and get up with a headache–the sleep doesn’t come.
Yes, dying to self is something there is always more to learn about. When I think of what missionaries and persecuted Christians go through, I’m ashamed.
I’m a little all or nothing. Like you, Heather, I’ve prayed that we didn’t have a computer. I too, seek fellowship and maybe even a little mental escape with the pretty Christian blogs there are out there. But life was so much more simple without it. It might work better if I waited to turn the computer on till later in the day. Maybe like a reward? But it is so automatic for me!! Greater is He that is in me than the draw of my computer, right!
Thanks for bringing this topic up. It’s nice to be able to share this burden with others who can relate and encourage.
Blessings
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