Socialization

Hi, I agree with Karen that being ‘thick-skinned’ is helpful:o). God has been very gracious through the years to take something that was hard and use it to help us grow in Him and His plan for us. We have been encouraged to examine each and every opportunity in light of where the child is and where God seems to be leading him or her. Given that, we get to reply in various ways and nothing is ever set in stone unless God leads that way. A simple example would be Sunday school. We have been encouraged to find out what was being studied that particular quarter. If the child needs the information, we can send them. If we’ve covered it (whatever ‘it’ is) then we can freely say ‘not this time.’ And this is the way with all of life’s opportunities.

It helps us to be sober-minded as we keep the goal in mind, which has nothing to do with being ‘social.’ I know that God was not specifically speaking about homeschooling when He said to know why you believe, but I have found it helpful to consider this verse in light of raising children. It’s helpful to the children as well, because they (hopefully) learn to trust that Dad and Mom are truly seeking what’s best for them. They are also not tossed into each and every activity that comes along just for the sake of peace.

It’s been interesting because we have found that others respond in a positive way, just as Karen said. I know that others take our lack of ‘sociability’ personally, assuming that our reasons are snobbish ones and then they feel rejected. But, when you can honestly say to a person that you are not participating in such-and-such because your child is just not ready, or some other reason, that takes the focus off of the rejection that they feel (not that we feel called to give an answer to everyone,lol). However (a big however), sometimes we must say no simply because we do not have a peace about a certain activity. That we leave to God. It is hard, though, for me that shudders at confrontation and has struggled with fear of man, to say that. This is where we can pray for one another.

Something I read or heard John MacArthur say was very simple: “Live in the reality of Christ’s return.” It’s helpful to remember this as we make decisions regarding our precious charges.

Blessings,

Cindy

Hi nuts4hs! This is still a question that every HS is asked one time, or another. I once read a quote somewhere ” Socialization is developing social skills that will enable children to interact appropriately in different situations.” Children do not learn the important socialization in PS; meaning that they only learn peer socialization. It is healthier for a child to be surrounded by people of different ages, people that love them. Children learn socialization by watching their parents at home and out in public. If you are active outside your home, in the public, running errands, eating out, going to the park, waiting in a line, going to a movie, shopping, dance, sports, etc., your kids are socializing. When someone asks you “what about socializing?” simply say, “they get so much socializing, I have no worries!” 🙂 Children that are homeschooled enter into conversations much easier than those who go to PS……

Smile!

Charlee

We, too, have dealt with this question so many times over the years. We have an interesting vantage point, having had our oldest child, 21, go all the way through public school, and our daughter, 19, home just for the middle school years before returning to public school. Our four youngest, ages 9-14, have been home from the beginning, and after our ps experiences, we intend, God willing, to finish up this way.

As others have said, people are speaking out of their own insecurity, stereotypes or preconceived notions. There’s also a paradigm that says school is the only way to get socialization and that this socialization is the most desirable, and people don’t even question why. This is interesting when you look at the rates of eating disorders, bullying, and substance abuse – my husband and I have come to believe the environment there is really quite toxic and that the socialization is a large part of that – think “Lord of the Flies”.

In any case, I like to tell people that yes, socialization is an issue – and we LOVE the socialization homeschooling affords. Our goal is to prepare our kids for the future, for that “real world” people keep referring to, and we don’t feel the school is an accurate representation of the real world. Nowhere in the workforce will the child be surrounded by coworkers segregated by age, socio-economic status, and test scores. They won’t be further segregated into smaller groups by clothing style, “coolness,” athletic ability or interests, and they certainly won’t be allowed to discuss s*x, drugs and partying openly or to pressure or domineer one another.

We are thankful that we get to surround our kids with folks from a vast variety of backgrounds and age groups, and that they are comfortable with these people. We’re thankful we can work community service into the school week, and that the kids can enjoy real-life socialization that will prepare them for the real “real world.” We enjoy our homeschool co-op and one of my sons loves his youth group, where most of the kids are also homeschooled and therefore far more accepting than at others we’ve seen, which tended to take on the ps mentality of grouping and excluding, despite the leaders’ best attempts to avoid it.

It sounds like your kids are doing great – you are just upsetting the paradigm!

Blessings,

Aimee

Okay, I’m 52….my two closest friends are 39 and 42….I also “socialize” with my pastor’s wife, who is 60….and my best friend, who died at age 44, was 9 years older than I. Oops! I must be in BIG TROUBLE….how will I ever survive as an adult?