You might not like my advice – it’s normal and you CAN get up with both. It’s not easy, I won’t pretend it is, but I’ve been up at night with multiple children for years now. My spacing between most babies is 13-16 mos, so both are usually up. When baby 8 arrives this summer I’ll yet again have 3 children UNDER age 3 and my oldest will have just turned 12. I’ll be up a lot. I have had a few sleep better at night early, but not many. Everyone is an individual.
Okay, now some practical help. First, I would guess that if the 19 month old is waking more there are a few factors going on:
– he hears the baby cry at night and it wakes him. Possible solution: Get a white noise machine and use it every night. We have 3, one in each bedroom. It helps cover night noises and light sleepers don’t wake as often. We even take one to the hospital for our 1yo’s many surgeries so he can sleep better with all the alarms on his equipment/monitors and people coming in and out for checks while in the hospital.
– he could be teething and the pain waking him more often. Possible solution, try some tylenol before bed to see if he sleeps better. (Remember, I’m not a doctor, this is just what we do).
– He misses mom time during the day and is seeking it at night. Again, normal with a new baby in the house. Possible Solution: Snuggle him more often during the day as possible.
– He is not getting enough energy out during the day due to weather or being inside more with new baby and told to play quietly so much of the time because baby is napping, etc. Possible solution: Wear him out with active play during the day!
Practical Advice Part 2: My absolute favorite books on sleep and helping children to sleep better are by Elizabeth Pantley. The No Cry Sleep Solution, The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers, The No Cry Nap Solution. Check your library or buy them – I love them and they’ve helped tons. The first thing they have you do is keep a sleep log of when and how long your child sleeps, when they wake, how long they’re up at night for each waking, how they go to sleep, etc. I think those forms are even free on her website if you want. I have found that sometimes MY PERCEPTION of how much/how often/how long a child is up at night is off. Or of how little sleep they are getting. It’s usually more than I realize. Once you have a real picture of what your child’s sleep habits are you can work on improving. Her books give tons of possible solutions to try for different things. Really helpful as there is no one way to encourage a child to sleep that will work for all children.
Also, she has tons of ideas for helping a child go to sleep that moves them from total dependence on mommy (similar to what your older child sounds like) to less need for mommy. Very helpful when you’ve got another little one who needs you!
((HUGS)) New baby time is exhausting no matter how you get through it. Rest when and where you can and soak up these snuggles because believe it or not they all learn to sleep without mom eventually and you’ll miss the night time quiet and snuggles.
