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Sleeping w/ baby
- This topic has 14 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 15 years, 10 months ago by
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Little history – we have now 6 children. The 1st, 2nd, and 3rd way to scared to co-sleep with baby in bed. 4th & 5th they did a little when they just wouldn’t sleep in craddle and mom needed sleep. But they were not dependent on it. I will also point out all were boys and they would wake like clock work ever 2 hrs to eat (nursing).
#6 has come along (girl)is a much calmer baby in general (no nuk yet 🙂 ). But if I put her in the craddle will not sleep unless really out for a while. She has been sleeping with me and I’m fine with that now (no more worries). She will nap in the craddle, and falls asleep in the swing all the time (98% of the time not even on). She also only wakes (typically) 1 time a night and then at in the morning which is great.
So my dh says to me – Why the change? I say cause sleep is way to important for me 😉 .
I also believe in at some point they need to sleep in the crib and through the night, some have done this AOK with no problems other had to unfortantly learn to cry it out (which I am also ok with), BUT they all slept in the craddle for the most part and use to sleeping alone.
So my real question after all that is this. For those who have co-slept is it hard to transition them to the crib? Or your thought no matter your opinion would be great, I really respect everyones views here.
Misty
My babies started out in the crib and when they woke up, I put them in bed with me. It worked, though I took enough grief from friends/family that I started being careful who I told. Anyway, my only advice to another mommy with this is to make sure dh is happy with the situation.
Yeah – it is hard to transition – but I am like you, we need our sleep! We need it now, for sure, this very night. Possible interrupted nights in the future might be more tolerable at that time than definitely interrupted nights are right now. That is the way I felt when mine were newborns. And I was right. I can cope better now than then.
I agree with Cindy’s comment about dh – everybody needs to be happy. You will also need his support and cooperation later when the aforementioned transitioning is happening LOL.
Hope you get some good night’s sleep, however you manage to get it! Misty, I know everyone here has got to be dying to see a pic of the new baby. Do you have a blog or flickr or something?
You are right sleep right now is way more important! I know and have already went through the cry it out – to sleep in crib/own room and I’m good with that cause I can do it and plan for it (like starting on a thurs. so by sunday night we are just about done).
DH is ok with baby in bed with us cause I keep her right next to me and doesn’t affect him. And he says he’s sleeping ok so that’s good.
Thanks for the good words.
Pictures – I don’t have a blog or flickr or something I don’t even know how I would get one. But if you want to private message me your emails I could and would be happy to send you a picture. That’s all I know how to do 😳 I can’t keep up the computer world.
Misty
I am the same as LivngUnderGrace. We only have one that did not sleep with us till at least 2. Right now I have Asher who will be 1 next week and on most nights Addison who is 2 comes in during the night. We usually just keep them in our bed until the next one comes along. I like my sleep!!!
With each baby, they would sleep with us a few months, then move to a bassinet/playpen in our room for a few months, then to their own cribs in their room (which has always been shared with older siblings).
We’ve really not experienced any transition problems, and we have gotten a few raised eyebrows over the years. But it has worked for us, and we all get sleep.
I will admit though, with each baby, each step gets a little longer. Ben is 8 months now, and is just moving to the playpen in our room. Oh well! I think it’s mostly me.
I will add that I also think it’s important to OK it with your hubby, but mine has always preferred sleep. And since we are expecting our 7th, it’s quite obvious it hasn’t come between us 🙂
Like you, the baby sleeps on my side…not in the middle. DH hardly notices they are there really…he usually doen’t even know if they woke up in the night or not!
Hope you get somme zzzzzzzzzzzz soon!
Kathi
Misty, great question! Our 16 month old is still in bed with us and nurses many times during the night. My dear hubby is in total agreement with this as we both seem to get more sleep this way. We don’t tell too many people because those we have mentioned it to think we’re crazy ; many raised eyebrows here too. 🙂
We plan to transition when hes around 2. I would love to hear how the transition went for you, LivingUnderGrace & Shanna, as this is our first one to sleep share this long.
Our other two boys slept in cribs by the time they were 4 months old or so…however that was 8 & 13 years ago. I have to say that if I could go back, I would have kept them in bed with me longer, and would’nt have been so afraid of disobeying doctors orders. We all have to do whats best for our individual families.
I’m not sure if you’ve heard of Dr. Sears but he has many books and a great website that answers many transitioning questions – he’s an advocate of sleep sharing. If you’re interested, I can try to find it for you.
Blessings to you, Misty ~ and enjoy that little girl!
Heather
OK are you guys reading my mind? I was just thinking about calling a friend of mine to discuss some of these same topics.
My main question is about nursing through the night? My two month old slept in our bed the first two weeks, then we put him in the crib (in our room). I don’t mind nursing him throughout the night and wouldn’t even mind him sleeping with us if he needed to. But the way things are now ..he nurses at 9:30pm (or there about)I put him in the crib and then he doesn’t wake up until 4:00am. I nurse him put him in the crib and then he wakes up at 7:00am I nurse him and we are up for the day.
So how can I nurse more during the night? I am feeding him 6-7 times a day/night and it seems to work great for both of us…but I usually get my monthly cycle back at 7/8 months.Is that normal for you guys or do you guys not get it back for a year or more. I guess I am really asking about it in relation to getting pregnant again so soon after having a baby. I know it is all in God’s timing but I also know that God created us to nurse our babies longer and possibly more often then the typical “western world” typically does. So what does that look like? Do you see any correlation with number of times you nurse to the time that you get your cycle back?
Ok Iam sorry this was so long and probably not clear enough to understand..but any thoughts would be appreciated. 😀
I’ve always heard that you had to nurse in the night to keep your cycle away, but like you, I would nurse in the late evening and early morning hours (typically not in the middle of the night) and it was enough to keep mine at bay until I completely stopped nursing.Then I would get my cycle back within 6 weeks or so.
I have always had a “milk production” problem, it has never really been enough for my babies, and around the age of 6 mos or so, it seems they are starving, and I give up nursing (always a sad time for me).So…mine are not that “ideal” 2 yrs apart either.Numbers 5 and 6 are 14 months apart, and numbers 6 and 7 will be 17 months apart.
Messing with a working schedule never seems very appealing to me.Being “careful” works for awhile, then goes right out the window, and then wahlah…another blessing is one the way.
After all this, I see…I’m of absolutely no help…sorry…good luck
Kathi
I have 5 kids, ages 8,6,4,2,and a baby. We tried for many months to get our first child comfortable sleeping alone, and as a new mom, this was a difficult time, with many pressures from many well-meaning people. We didn’t want her to cry it out so finally at about 7 mos old I let her sleep with us. We finally became a cosleeping family and it has worked great for all of our kids. We don’t regret it. It has allowed us to get the sleep we need and has been a source of bonding and comfort for our children. It has allowed an intimacy with them we wouldn’t have had otherwise and very precious memories. My feeling is that many cultures around the world cosleep and it is a natural means of raising your children. We have learned to be careful who we share with, as this is a heated topic, esp. with pediatricians. We also are careful to make sure covers are pulled way back and far away while we are sleeping, as one night we had a scare with me pulling the covers up in my sleep, and was unsafe for the baby.Wish you the best!
My kids always nursed more through the night while sleeping next to me. If I don’t have my baby in bed, he will sleep a lot longer, usually until around 4 am.
My cycle would always return around 7/8 mos after I started on solids at 6 mos. But still got pregnant again even before cycle returned!
My dd also is on the same schedule as richpond. And in the past with the 5 others my cycle didn’t come back till I was totally done nursing so that is my hope with this one. She is sleeping with us and I have found she nurses LESS than the others did who did NOT sleep with us and they were up every 2-3 hours. So I guess it’s a toss up.
Kathi – by the way congrats! 7 is an awesome number (my personal favorite)
And I am getting good sleep! Though I think something I’m eatting is upsetting her tummy lately cause she’s had a hard time burping. 🙁
Misty
Richpond…
Every woman is different on when they will get their cycles. I think the biggest thing you can do is to nurse whenever babe wants even for comfort. There is nothing wrong with allowing a babe to nurse just for comfort. Not saying you are not doing this. I just know many women who feel they can only nurse when babe is hungry. Also delaying solids is a big help in delaying cycles. Babies do not need solids until a year old as long as you are nursing when a babe desires to be nursed.
HTH…nursing is a passion of mine.
hey, In his grace, you and I must be on the same cycle. I have an 8,6,4 (tomorrow will be 5), 2, and baby (2 months) and I had a miscarriage between my third and fourth children.
Yes, I nurse for comfort too but my fifth rarely seems to need it. In the past I haven’t started solids until my babies were 8-9 months and I nurse for atleast a year. I haven’t ventured into nursing beyond a year but who knows maybe this time I will.
Misty and BailyMom that is wonderful that you don’t get your cycle back until you have quit nursing. Not that I am complaining, I really don’t mind having my cycle..it is a blessing from God to have the gift of children. I am just contemplating the differences in nursing and their relation to delaying our cycles.
Thank you all for your thoughts. And Misty congrats on your new little one and BailyMom congrats on expecting number 7. My dc hope that God blesses us with 7 (atleast) so they can be like the Von Trapp family..They love the Sound of Music.
Shelly
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