Simple Living and Simple Homeschooling?

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  • Betty Dickerson
    Participant

    Hi there,

    I’ve got alot going on in my life right now, but I’ve been very drawn to the subject of simple living.  First, let me share how NOT simple my life is right now.  My husband is a rep and has the whole state of FL as his territory.  We travel every other week with him right now.  That’s several days in the car.  Let’s just say, I am so grateful for G.A. Henty audio! 

    Then we are seeking to move to 2 hours north of us where my parents have a vacation home we can borrow while we look for a house.  In the meantime, we commute to there every weekend to go to a great church we found there.  It’s worth it!  But in between all this, we are trying to pack up our house and fix it up to make it marketable.  I’ve never lived anywhere else.  I was born in Miami, my Cuban parents are 4 blocks away.  But Miami is SO busy and congested and expensive.  I am looking forward to the move however overwhelming the process might be.

    In the midst of all this, I’ve had alot of issues with my chronic fatigue and celiac.  I’m reacting to all sorts of foods, including fruits & veggies, aside from gluten.  Somedays, I wake up with alot of muscle weakness and shortness of breath. My blood labs are normal except for being a little low in Vit. D (and I’m taking supplements for that).   I’m a morning person but very slow in the mornings.  I’m trying to add in some exercise to see if I can strengthen my muscles and get stronger.  But this makes a morning routine very long between that and my devotion time, putting food in the crockpot, helping my hubby get out the door, showering, etc… Sometimes it’s almost lunch time by the time I’m ready for school.

    I have 4 children: 13.5, 11.5, 11.5, and 5.5 yrs old.  The older three are pretty independent with alot of their subjects and we do history, Bible, poetry, fine arts, and Latin together.  Most of this is based on me reading aloud.  I find that I am consistently neglecting my 5 yr old.  She is such a busy, hands-on little girl.  She is hard to occupy sometimes.  She is not as scholarly as my oldest daughter was at that age, which is fine, but I find it hard for me to switch gears and focus on her during the day.  I will read a picture book to her here and there, but although I put it on my planner to spend time with her schooling in the morning, so many things get in the way.  I’d love to be done with all the schooling that involves me by lunch time because I hit such a slump in the afternoon and have to lay down.

    I keep reading about people who have simplified their living.  They live in a rural place where everything closes early.  They have simple lives.  Their homeschooling is simple with very little curriculum but lots of rich learning going on. But how much is simplicity a state of the heart and mind rather than circumstances?

    I think our schooling is pretty simple, but still it wearies me to think about it all in the morning.  I feel like I don’t have enough energy for all I have to do. 

    We are hoping to put our house on the market in Oct/Nov when we will relocate to my parent’s vacation home and the traveling will lessen.  I long so much for routine and quiet.  But when I do get it, I’m too tired to do anything!  I feel very unsettled in this transition time, so much so that though I’m an avid reader, I cannot physically read any books anymore.  I’m very distracted.  It’s been recommended to me to forget homeschooling for right now until we are settled.  But that’s quite a ways away.  We started our summer break the end of May! 

    How can I simplify my life more in the midst of my circumstances?  Do any of you feel weary when thinking of all you have to do every day, even homeschool?  Do any of you homeschool in the midst of chronic health issues?  How can I order my days at home so that they are more simple? 

    I am seeking the Lord about it, as well as my husband.  One of my biggest hurdles is the computer.  I end up doing alot of research regarding my health to find something that will give me more energy be it nutrition, diet, or supplements. I have to be my own advocate because my poor doctor says she doesn’t know what to do with me!   I feel too tired to do much, but I wonder if it would be better to just take a nap rather than sit at the computer? 

    Thanks so much for any suggestions and prayers.

    Blessings,

    Betty

    Mamasong
    Member

    Oh Betty!  It sounds like your plate is heaped right now!  I will be in prayer for you.  I don’t have much in the way of suggestions and advice, except to say that keeping life as simple as possible has been a real life-saver for me.  I hope when you get settled into your new home things will slow down enough for you to not feel so overwhelmed!

    Blessings,

    Rachel

    Betty Dickerson
    Participant

    Rachel,

    God bless you for even reading my post!  I didn’t realize it was so long when I first posted it.  I’d love to hear what works for you; in what ways have you simplified?

    Thanks so much, especially for the prayers!

    Blessings,

    Betty

    Would it be possible for your to give the older children really good things to read and write about during this period of chaos in your life and have them narrate to you – perhaps the older ones could help with the little one more – read to her, involve themselves with teaching her some of the things they know.  Perhaps you could relax the schooling until you are settled and have more peace in your life.  It seems you need rest, CF can be so debilitating, and stress makes it worse – so can you see your way to take a break from school and allow the children to do more to help with this transition and then pick up when you are settled.  Does your little one sit in on the lessons with the older ones?  If you feel you need to continue with school every day, can you involve the little one in those lessons – she may pick up more than you think.  It does seem like you are overwhelmed right now and your health is so important for your family’s wellbeing.  Try and think about ways you can cut back until you are more settled, and make sure you rest and involve the children in helping you during this difficult time.  I will keep you in my prayers.  Blessings,  Linda 

    Dear Betty,

    Bless your heart!  I’m not sure I can help much in the way of suggestions (because we just started homeschooling this past Spring) but I can definitely offer some encouragement. 

    We have four kids, ages 19, 13, 12 and 10.  I (as well as our 12 year old) have Celiac and know well the draining effect such an issue can have.  There are days that I’d just rather lie in bed that get up because my legs and feet are as sore as if I had run a marathon.  In the spring, I started taking a multi-vitamin supplement (it’s GF and I buy it from Costco) that has helped a lot but there are still those random days that cause me to just be bedridden.  When that happens, I give my self an out…a day just to do nothing or very little (even though the laundry hamper is overflowing, the sink is full of dishes and fridge is empty!).  I’d love to be one of those “super-moms” that can conquer whatever arises, but I’m just not.  My prayer daily is that God will make me “real” and give me the grace to live it out…whatever that may mean on any given day. 

    Facing a move with health issues is so intimidating.  My story is a bit like yours in that we moved across the country last year from NC to CA.  We moved for various reasons but the main reason was my husband’s job.  We prayed and asked God for wisdom about moving.  We put our house on the market in NC (and yes, the market was horrible then too!) and it sold in under a year.  We knew that was our answer.  So we loaded up in June of last year and moved to CA.  I’m a southern, country girl so moving to CA has been a HUGE change for us (those stories of rural life being much more relaxing are so true!  Although we don’t live in a big city now, it is much different than what I am used to (lots of acreage, green-green grass!, trees, etc).  For now, though, it’s what our family needs to make life much more simple – and, it is a state of the heart rather than circumstances for us.  We doubt we’ll live here in CA forever but it creates a simplistic harmony that we didn’t have back in NC.  

    It is wonderful to have more consistent weather patterns here in CA (which seems to affect my health greatly), my hubby travels much less than before, our oldest attends college 30 mins away and we’re not that far from the beach.  With that said, I do miss my friends and family! 

    My heart truly goes out to you and your situation.  I pray that you will find peace in the decisions that are before you.  A verse that has been so helpful to me recently is, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2Tim 1:7”, I pray God will use it to comfort your heart as well.

    Your in my prayers,

    -Andrea 

    Tristan
    Participant

    The first thing that comes to mind is to schedule time for each of the older siblings to do something with your youngest!  Between each of them helping her in some area(reading to her, doing a project with her, playing a game(can be math 0r skill related), and so on it will lighten your load and give them all a great bonding experience.

    Mamasong
    Member

    Betty, in order to maintain simplicity I don’t leave the house more than twice a week (for grocery shopping, errands, appts, etc).  I schedule things together onto a certain day so that the rest of my days are smooth and easy.  I plan simple, seasonal meals that don’t require fancy ingredients or special trips to the store.  I keep our wardrobe very small and simple (all my clothes fit into one suitcase) so that laundry doesn’t get out of control.  Each family member has one plate, one bowl, one set of silverware, one hot/cold cup and one water bottle that they are each responsible for cleaning and putting away after each meal.  It may sound kinda sterile, but I assure you we are a cozy little family 🙂  This makes my workload so much easier and gives me the time to just lay down with the kids and read great stories or go on nature walks together.  Giving our television away was a major thing we did a few years ago, it’s amazing how freeing that was even though we felt like we barely even watched anything.  I left a homeschooling group that pressured us into doing too many activities.  I don’t know if any of that gives you inspiration or encouragement, they’re just some things that have worked for me.

    Rachel Smile

    p.s. We’re currently living in an urban area, so I can heartily agree that simplicity is something you cultivate in your heart and mind regardless of your circumstances or location. 

    I don’t post much here, but I came online to order the new planner and found myself reading the boards. 🙂  Betty, it sounds like you’re getting some great advice and prayers, too. A huge thank you to Rachel for posting such specifics about downsizing to a simpler life. I have been making significant moves in that direction this summer as I have passed the breaking point. lol  Seriously, I have struggled for years, off and on, with letting things go (whether stuff or actvities or whatever). “Good” can truly be the enemy of “the best” when it comes to this.

     

    I don’t want to hijack the topic here, just wanted to thank you ladies for sharing from your hearts — you encourage and strengthen me!

    Mamasong
    Member

    I agree with you!  There is definitely such thing as “too much of a good thing” and boy it is freeing to send stuff packing for all the right reasons!  I’m glad you’re encouraged by this Smile

    Rachel

    Esby
    Member

    You do sound very busy. I think all of us in this culture can benefit from slowing down, culling our activities and committments, etc. I strive to live a simple life and I don’t live in a rural area by any means. I live in a very big city and I know that simple living can be done anywhere, though it’s not always understood or encourage in some areas. But, geography matters far less than attitude and desire for the simple life. I think you are on your way toward a simpler life – you’re probably further along than you are giving yourself credit for. Keep on!

    As for the computer, it is a mixed blessing, isn’t it? I struggle with the same issues as you do – I have gained so much information and pleasure from the net…but at some cost of TIME spent doing other things. It takes discipline to turn it off.

    I encourage you in living the simple life!

     

    csmamma
    Participant

    Oh Betty, I wish i had more time to write. My prayers are with you.  I completley understand what you mean when you say “one of my biggest hurdles is the computer”. A few months ago we got rid of our home internet.  After it was gone, I realized how much more free time I had on my hands and how much more “simple” life seemed to be. Though I miss being here as often, its been good to not have the “pull” to go on here and there, researching & checking things on the computer so much throughout the day. Awhile back Rebecca posted a thread called “I was a better mother before the internet”.  I can’t remember if you were active in that conversation, but it really got me thinking & praying about the computer and my use of it.  Though I’m not much of a help to you in responding, I want you to know that I hear your heart and God knows. I’m praying for you…….

     

    Rachel, what a clever idea for everyone in the family to have their own set of dishes! I never of thought- what simplicity! I’ve recently come to realize just how overwhelmed I am with the amount of dishes in the sink – loading & unloading the dishwasher continually. Can I ask you- are they all color coded or kept in their own special spot? A little more detail on how you implement this simple thing would be great! Thanks.

    Blessings All!

    Heather

    Mamasong
    Member

    Heather,

    They aren’t color coded or separated, I just have literally one plate/bowl/silverware/cup for each family member. After each child is excused from a meal they take their dirty dishes to the sink, wash and dry them and put them back on the shelf.  That way all I have to do is the pots/pans and hubby/my dishes.  The kids dishes are restaurant grade melamine so they’re unbreakable but still look “grown up”.  It’s a good system for us and I like how it teaches the kids to be responsible for their mess after every meal.  We live with another family (10 of us all together) so whoever got stuck doing the dishes would end up with a ton of work!  I thought if the kids could be trained to take care of their own dishes then that’s half the work done… and more time for fellowship!

    Rachel Smile

    Betty Dickerson
    Participant

    Rachel, were the plates matching or did everyone have their own color?  Neat!

    I did get a chance during our travels this week to be forced to rest and read.  No computer.  There was cable tv, so for this special occasion I put on public tv for the kids (no commercials) and i went in another room and read a fiction (Elizabeth Goudge–my first book of hers).  I normally do not do things like that, but it has been almost a year since I have read for pleasure.  I had to physically force myself to digest and picture all that I was reading.  It forced me to slow down and contemplate which is something I haven’t done in a long time.

    The traveling will continue for several months till we can put our house on the market and relocate.  In the middle of all that will be fixing up the house to sell.  So much to do. 

    But when we are stuck in a hotel room during our traveling or we are in the car for a whole day, I wonder if we should be starting school and letting them do their schoolwork in the car/hotel?  But then when we are home and all working on the house, it would be very inconsistent. 

    Since I will be getting a chance to “start over” with a new house, Lord willing, do you all have any suggestions for keeping or making things more simple?  I do love the dish idea.  I’d like to start things on really good footing this time around.

     

    Blessings, Betty

    HeidiS
    Participant

    Betty I read your posts with a prayer in my heart. The struggles you all talk about are universal right now and I think our society tends to encourage us to ‘beat up on ourselves’ in regards to what we should/shouldn’t be doing, what we should/shouldn’t be teaching etc. the homeschool community is not immune to the pressures of society and i think thats what you are feeling. Don’t forget to remind yourself of what your children are learning and doing even when you aren’t ‘doing’ school. Do they relate well to one another, do they play well together, are they content, peaceful children? And the travelling factor in itself is a HUGE education. No matter where you go, you meet new people, see places, read maps (or GPS, lol) there is sure to be a lot of learning happening, just in the journey! We used to travel with dh a lot-he works on commercial fishing boat freezers and travelled a LOT.He also commercial fishes in Alaska in the fall and last year we all went for 6 weeks. During those times I had books to read aloud or listen to on audio, games to play in the car, and simple workbooks (gasp!) yep, just to keep things on track, especially in math. They didn’t do them much, and they were skinny review books I picked up at teacher supply stores, but it kept their minds going in the right direction so when we got home there wasn’t so much backtracking. 2 years ago my then 12yo son snapped his femur and had a lot of nerve damage to his leg.I became his primary caregiver and driver to therapy several times per week. The narcotics he was on pretty much blanked him out for a major portion of the year. I was fearful at the time because my younger daughter wasn’t getting any schooling  either (she was 7) But you know that verse where it says the Lord will restore the years the locusts have eaten? (or something like that, don’t have my bible handy) well, its true. Just put your trust in Him. My son after missing almost 7 months of time where the only schooling he got was being read to or watching PBS or playing with his siblings and his lego, has returned to grade level and is an active learner again. My daughter who kind of got swept up in it all when I was just trying to get through each day, also is at her reading level. When the accident happened she wasn’t reading at all yet, the Lord has restored our family and I am confident He can do the same for you. Don’t listen to the whispers of guilt and fear, they are from Satan. Just listen to the Lord and do what you can, when youcan. When you can’t, put on some music, and rest. Your kids will be OK, and they will learn more than you think. Oh,one other thing that came as a bonus, my then 17 yoson who basically took over the housework and helped with the meds, and the physio, and the little sister, got an A+ for Home Economics on his transcripts;) We were on a distance program at the time and his online teacher said “if that isn’t real learning, what is?” I totally agree with her

    God Bless, and sorry for the lengthy post, just hit a nerve with me I guess. Thanks to the other ladies for all their advice too, this is one mamma who always needs simplicity!

    Heidi

    Betty Dickerson
    Participant

    Heidi,

    Thank you so much for your encouraging words.  You are so right.  I am realizing more and more that I am full of fear, and always have been.  The thought of moving to another town and looking for a home on more land (2-5 acres) away from my parents, more isolated, being by myself while my husband travels out of the state, it all made me panic the other night.  What am I trusting in?  Can’t God take care of me just as well there as anywhere else?  Where am I placing my security?

    It’s also been a hard time with me with my health.  There are days I wake up and can barely do even the most simple things and other days I’m okay, but I’m rarely great.  I am experimenting with different diets (no sugar, no grains, no starchy veggies) for myself and this requires LOTS of time in the kitchen.  I’m also trying to exercise but I end up having to do it in spurts because I tire out so easily, but I have keep my muscles and bones strong so that I don’t atrophy away.  I’ve never spent time on myself (and now I’m paying for it).  It’s been challenging.  I’m hoping to get myself stabilized in a few months so that I can move on and do more.

    I used to resent my 5 yr old constantly asking me to read a book to her, but now I’m grateful for her persistences.  Those little windows of time that she demands from me wouldn’t happen any other way sometimes.  How I pray that this is just a season!

    I really appreciate all the advice and prayers.  This is a time of stretching and growth.

    Blessings,

    Betty

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