Siblings Fighting and how to stop it.

Following… cause I have a 9 and 10 y/o boy and girl who are exactly the same way!!! It’s gotten so old that I’ve actually made a rule that they are not allowed to talk to each other in the car at present time..

I’ve done the joint chore idea that retrofam mentioned and it does work. If they can’t do it together while working together normally, have them hold hands while they do it. It takes a lot longer but also makes them work together.
We also have them do something nice for the other (other’s choice) when it’s one-sided and that works too. Added bonus, the one who is being teased or picked-on tends to feel a lot better when something nice is done so it reduces hard feelings.

A couple other thoughts:

For our kids, I have taken away toys – if they can’t get along while playing Legos, they don’t get the Legos. This does seem to make them think twice about fighting and what they want to happen.

Also, does the fighting seem to increase after certain things – like playing with certain friends, outside the house activites, etc? When my oldest two were younger, they had one friend that they really enjoyed. He was a neat kid from a neat family but when they came home from playing with him or when he came over, they treated their siblings badly. I talked to them about it and warned them that if it continued, the friendship would be severely restricted, that I was not going to let them destroy their sibling relationships for a friend (or anything else). We did have to restrict the friendship a couple of times before it improved but they did get the message.

Well, I tried the chore thing, but they just argued and yelled about who got who in trouble etc… and I still had to hear all the bickering, so I just told them that they had too much time on their hands and everytime I hear any kind of ugliness from either of them….they get to run laps….both of them. This caused them to have a common enemy..ME and low and behold…..they  stopped. Now all I have to do is give them a look and I hear apologies almost instantaneously. LOL My kids hate running btw and that would be the key element….it would take place no matter the weather. HTH

Oh retrofam, I didn’t mean chores wouldn’t work, I’m sure they would have if I had more patience and time and energy to do as you say and follow through with another chore etc. I just couldn’t stand hearing the bickering and so I resulted in making them do something I knew they despised and it was out of my earshot, but I could see them them. I didn’t mean to make it sound as though your method didn’t work…..I was just giving another option in case someone else is like me and their children’s bickering is worse than nails on a chalkboard. LOL Nobody told me how creative one becomes once you enter parenthood!

Just so glad to hear we aren’t the only home with this!  I just talked to my children today at lunch about how bad it has gotten lately, and there are six of them so it’s a lot of strife.  So much bickering, arguing, correcting, etc.  We use THINK-is it:true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind?  If not it doesn’t need said.  Easier said than done though.  I agree with the hand-holding for chores,etc.  I have done that if two can’t get along, it usually resolves it pretty quickly because they start laughing about trying to do everything with one hand.    I like the laps idea, I might try pushups or jumping jacks.  Other ideas are great too!

Sometimes family memories will even be made. Once upon a time I had two boys that were fighting over something (can’t even remember what) and they were punished with doing the dishes together that night. Usually one person does dishes by themselves in our family. These two teenage boys proceeded to do the dishes and dry them together. TWO hours later they were still laughing hysterically as they were still on a roll of 100 things to do with a dishtowel. Oh, my, goodness, that night will forever be in our family’s memory!! It was hilarious!!! The things they came up with were hysterical! We all laughed until we cried and our cheeks hurt!