Sibling issues – Older tearing down younger just for kicks

Stick with this one! We struggled for years with older children criticizing one of the younger ones. Now the younger has some real issues that resulted from the verbal pounding. Now we handle it as something that must leave the home. For we moms this looks like this: Know what God says about how we are to treat one another and what God’s plan is for our children. Really know it! Our sermon at church today referred to the cleansing of the temple. The question posed was, “Parents, are you truly jealous for God’s purposes in your children’s lives or are you being a wimp?” I know for me, I need to hold these truths dearly in me so that in the heat of the battle, so to speak, the Holy Spirit can encourage me to stand strong. That does not mean angry, but strong.

You are right, you cannot make someone be kind-hearted, however, as the authority in your home along with your husband, you get to set the standard for behavior. I’m sure you are praying and rebuking the spirit of unkindness and asking God to replace it with loving-kindness.

On a very pragmatic note, extra chores can work wonders as sometimes these sorts of things come from boredom. Also, a 9yo can be sensing some changes emotionally, if not physically. That can cause them to desire to distance themselves a bit from the younger ones. Also, for my girls, it also manifested itself in what I call snippiness and snootiness with the youngers, depending on whether they were feeling ‘little’ that day or ‘grown up.’ Some would say that we need to endure this ‘phase.’ I think you are a wise and loving mother to sense that this does not have to be a part of family life.

What a blessing your son must be to be so tenderhearted! I have such a sweet picture of him in my mind.

Blessings,

Cindy