Hi Kimberly,
Do you have Laying Down the Rails or Charlotte’s 6-volumes? If so, there are six main points on kindness in CM’s writings that are found on pp. 32-33 in LDtR. These are very eye-opening, such as #5 “Motivate your child with the idea that he might hold the happiness of others in his hands.” In Charlotte’s home education series, Kindness is written about in Ourselves and Formation of Character.
At the same time my kids started squabbling, there was a terrible billboard in our town and on all our public transportation that said “It’s all about me!” i became very conscious of these six points of kindness and prayed specifically for my children and our family on these. Before we went out we would “set the mission” which was to be on the look-out for opportunities to be kind to others, even to think the best of other people and defend another’s character in their absence. I hadn’t realized how “in my own little world” I was and am ashamed of the opportunities that we had previously let slip to bless others with kindness when we were out and about running errands.
When helping the children think the best of others or to respond kindly even when faced with “tiresome tempers” or being “injured by another” I really had the spotlight turned on me and saw how often I wasn’t thinking the best of my husband and children. For example, how I responded (even internally) to things that my husband said or to a certain look on his face showed me that I often expect the worst when I shouldn’t.
Ephesians 4:32 was the “theme” for that time. I didn’t search out specific books on kindness but probably due to the heightened awareness they were seeing for themselves many traits that seemed rooted in kindness in people we read about or they knew.
At home we also looked for opportunities to do kind things for one another. We did this at the beginning of last summer and it has happily remained a habit. Giving, including the benefit of the doubt, is now the norm and it happens more often than not that someone has “done a kind thing” by doing a brother’s chore for them or giving them the biggest piece of chocolate, etc.
At the back of LDtR, SCM has put together a checklist to help us be more intentional in developing habits. I wished I’d noticed it before because I think it’s phenomenal.
I love to hear everyone’s experiences with habit-building.
Best,
Richele