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Schooling with a toddler- HELP
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I have a 6yob, 3yog and very active 13 month old boy who is also very attached to me. I’ve tried everything I can think of to get him to play independently but it is nearly impossible to get any school work done while he is awake. He is rarely content in the mornings…just fusses alot. He IS cutting molars and still adjusting from dropping down to one nap a day (I had to because he would take a morning nap then not go down in the afternoon then want to go to bed at 5pm! So now I am trying to stretch him to 11 or 12 each day)
Anyway, so I have this vision in my head of homeschool with my two older ones snuggled up on the couch, reading stories, learning together. This just does not happen. Little man’s nap is unpredictable- some days 2-3 hours, some days only 45 minutes. I also watch a 3 year old girl three days a week and the days are not the same each week because it depends on her parent’s work schedule.
I have tried doing all the table work when the baby is napping but my 6 year old has a really hard time focusing in the afternoon. He is all over the place and doesn’t pay attention to what we are doing so that a 15minute reading lesson turns into 30 minutes or so, after which it is like pulling teeth to get him to do any math.
I have tried doing table work in the morning, giving the baby snacks or toys to keep him quiet- but this usually ends up in frequent interruptions and all the kids being frustrated. My poor 3 yo DD is lost in the shuffle- relegated to watching Wonder Pets or playing with her dolls. 🙁 She wants to do “school work” too and I would LOVE to sit with her and do preschool workbook pages or work on counting, etc.- but I am barely able to get the first grader’s work done.
Our days are just very scattered and it is rare that everything goes according to plan. I decided to homeschool year-round this year since it is our first year and I’m worried that we will not cover everything we should. So that takes a little bit of the pressure off but I still can’t help but worry if he is getting all he needs. What if we struggle through to the end of the year only to discover he is way behind in an important area?
Right now I’m struggling to cover reading/writing/spelling and math. Oh and we do a different topic each day such as geography, science, etc. So basically everything other than the “three R’s” gets covered only once a week. And by “covered” I mean I’m having to hold the toddler on my hip or give him a sucker or raise my voice over his fussing to teach DS about ducks, or China, or whatever. It is stressful.
Any advice is much much appreciated. Thanks.
Oh, how I can relate and remember times like the ones you are describing! And for your first year of homeschooling, I am sure it is unsettling. But please remember that this is just a (difficult) season. This too, shall pass.
And with your oldest at only 6 years old, you really will not have missed much in his schooling. Your precious little one WILL get easier to manage. Your big guy WILL catch up. Try to ‘zoom out’ and get the big picture. Think of how you want these precious little ones to remember thier mom and thier early years at home….
Make a peaceful atmosphere the priority in your home life. I know you hate to hear this, but this starts with you and getting that peace from the Lord. Do whatever it takes to maintain joy and peace in your home in the difficult seasons, and catch up on the ‘school’ when things settle down – and they will!! Your kids’ character and faith in the Lord is the priority in homeschooling, and, in the early years, they absorb that primarily from Mom.
Create some basic routines and try to stick with them. You are driving the bus. HABIT IS TEN NATURES!! For example, if you serve lunch at 12:00 every day, guess when your children get hungry? 12:00!! If naptime is at 1:00 every day (and preceded by a certain routine, as well) guess when your baby will get sleepy? 1:00!
Of course, this takes time to work out. But try to create a basic routine and stick with it. Kids actually enjoy the security of good habits from a very early age. And it enables you to live without the stress of chaos. You know what comes next, and so do they.
As far as school for 6yo goes, I would say read the Bible and pray, play lots of good music around the house, and teach him to read. We use Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons, but there are lots of good reading tools out there.
SHORT LESSONS! His reading lessons should take 15 minutes, tops. 5 – 10 minutes of top effort printing. Give him some math oriented toys (legos, blocks, an abacus or things to count). Help him add or subtract things conversationally.
Take walks and help them to appreciate the great outdoors. Take along your nature notebook if you like. Read great stories and picture books, and teach your kids that storytime is the highlight of the day!
That is really all that is required at this age. Just do your best. Take a deep breath. What God has called you to do, He will equip you to do. You can do this.
I want to echo what ServingWithJoy said about routine. It makes such a huge different. This is NOT coming form someone who has it all figured out. 🙂 My children are 10, 7, 4 and months. We struggle with some of the same issues you do when it comes to our toddler. One thing I did that has been HUGE is turn that morning nap into a quiet time. We kept up the routine of dd1 going in her bed every morning from 10-11. She is in her pack and play in the room right next to our school room, so she can hear all of the noise and activity. Sometimes she snoozes a bit; sometimes I hear her singing; and sometimes she DOES fuss. But she is learning to have her own quiet time. She also got to the point where taking her morning nap meant no afternoon nap, so this transition has been helpful. Your little guy may take some time to adjust to the routine. If he really struggles, maybe you can start with 10-15 minutes and then build up. It is amazing how much we accomplish in that hour!
We have also learned to expect interruptions. Our children are not in an institutional setting but are at home living REAL life. While we want them to accomplish their task and be able to focus, in my mind, it is also okay for them to see that Mommy has to care for the baby, and sometimes our routine may have to shift a bit to do so. I try not to beat myself up over what TIME things happen, but rather, I try to keep an order to our day. My children know that devotions follow breakfast; school comes next, then lunch, etc. When everyone knows what to expect, things go much more smoothly.
I hope this helps you some. Really, truly just enjoy this time with your children. I need to reminded of this sometimes, as well. They grow up way too quickly, and I often have to step back and enjoy the sights and sounds of them being small. I grab my camera usually at least once a day-a reminder for me of how quickly time passes.
Thanks for your responses. I do feel that we need to focus more on the Lord here, on having a peaceful Christ-centered home. Before homeschooling, the kids would play fairly nicely, we’d play VBS music loud, we’d dance, I’d actually get the housework done, etc. Not that it was all rainbows or whatever- but I have been stressing out so much and while my son loves school…it is rare that we have a positive school time. I keep praying for guidance and frequently stop in the middle of things just to pray. It is tough to know what to do. A regular quiet time would help me tremendously- to be honest I really struggle in this area. I used to be a full-time missionary and spent hours seeking the Lord. However my time with God became a legalistic fear-based experience so I stopped doing it…then I had kids and struggled with finding the time to do it. I struggle with insomnia. Maybe I should read the Bible at midnight when I’m awake instead of trying to make myself get up at 6am!!!
I tried the pack n play today, but I had it where he could see us and maybe that was the issue. He literally screamed at the top of his lungs. He screeches in a way that it hurts my ears and I am not sure what he wants because he will keep doing it even if I pick him up sometimes. I tried feeding, playing, cuddling, etc. It’s just some kind of screeching phase? That is a whole different issue.
My student ran off to his room and slammed the door because he got upset about the baby screaming and my obvious frustration. I have given up on lessons for this morning which means I’ll have to try to do them after dinner tonight because we have errands and activities this afternoon.I totally agree about routine and used to have one in place, lol. I think things fell apart when little man dropped his morning nap. I think I will try and make sure that the 3 year olds (my daughter and the girl I watch) respect school time, and try to get the table work done in afternoon during nap time.
It does help to remember that not alot is required at this age. I’m feeling pressured because my SIL reacted negatively to my decision to homeschool. Her kids are in K and 2nd grade and I feel like if DS does not “keep up” then I will be judged as failing in teaching him.
Ahh, well thank you for the encouragement- I’m keeping in mind this is just a phase in our life and that homeschool is the best choice regardless.
I’m no expert here, but I did have an idea. It’s just an idea so take it or leave it. While you are working out a schedule/routine, maybe you could put your 6yo to be earlier so the 6yo will get up earlier (like an hour) and put baby to bed later to wake up later and then you could spend one hour on the 3 R’s with your 6yo first thing in the morning while your baby is still sleeping and the 6yo mind is fresh. Usually babies sleep for 10 to 12 hours anyways so this might work out. Then for nap time, you could have story cuddle time on the couch. The rest of the time is for fun family togetherness with things like you mentioned of music, dance, housework, etc. together. Go outside for nature study when it’s nice. Go for a walk or to the park.
Do not fret too much with your 6yo. Keep the lessons short and cover the 3 R’s regularly because they are skill-based. The other subjects can be learned at anytime in any order and can be learned in creative ways and not just with read-aloud books. Think educational toys, games, videos, audiobooks, field trips, etc. for science, history, geography, music, art, etc.
I am sorry that you are feeling pressured by your SIL. Please know that all of us on the forum here support you. And there is only one judge that truly matters. 🙂
First off, you go right ahead and have that quiet time at midnight, if that is when it works for you you! Maybe you will sleep better!
Who ever said quiet time had to happen at 6am? I have to remind myself of this often, as I am SO not a morning person and, like you, tend to beat myself up for not blasting out of bed with a big cheesy grin and making a bee-line for my Bible and journal! And quiet time does not have to be a certain length of time. I often read a Psalm in the morning by myself and have devotions with my children. I try to talk with the Lord throughout the day. Yes, a nice, long quiet time every day would be fabulous, but a wise mama once reminded me that our family is our ministry. The Lord sees when the baby is crying at 6am, you hit the ground running, and you don’t stop until you drop into bed at midnight!Sorry the pack and play thing didn’t work for you. I would encourage you to continue trying. Like you said, maybe put him somewhere where he doesn’t see you? And I would start with very short increments of time. It obviously is going to be more effort than help for you at first, but I think it will pay off in the long run. Maybe this just won’t be a solution for you, but you may want to try a few more times.
Most of all, I just want to encourage you again. If your days were more joyful when you were not offically schooling, then look at what made those days so much better and go back to doing more of that! Children learn anything set to music extremely quickly. Keep any seatwork extremely short, and just have fun.
One last thought: Do you babywear? Not sure how big your 13mo is, but I still put my toddler in my Angelpack on occasion while schooling, cooking, cleaning, etc. Sometimes she just needs that little bit of snuggle time on my back, and then she is ready to go. This may not be an option for you, but I thought I would throw it out there.
Praying for you, mama. Have a blessed day!
I would also like to second some of the good advice you have already gotten. I too have struggled with the whole daily quiet time thing complete with legalism, not being alert at 6am, insomnia, etc. I did quiet time at naptime and that worked for a while, but not in *this* season for my family. So I did start having my quiet time at midnight, or 4am or whenever I happened to wake up. I discovered that if I used the audio reading of the Bible on my tablet while I read along it kept me alert enough to benefit from the quiet time! I use headphones so I dont wake anyone up.
The screeching sounds tough. Have you tried a carrier? If you can buy enough time to cove one subject (10 min) just concentrate on that and as you develop more routine you can slowly add more subjects.
You’ll get there. If I did with my first set of kids I know you can do it too. 😀
Have to chime in on the quiet time thing – I am not a morning person either. So do it whenever you can. And I second what was said about the Lord seeing you and knowing what you are going through. He loves you the same whether you have 5 minutes or an hour…and He doesn’t sleep either ;0)! I do hope your little one gets over this phase soon. Praying for you.
My student ran off to his room and slammed the door because he got upset about the baby screaming and my obvious frustration. I have given up on lessons for this morning which means I’ll have to try to do them after dinner tonight because we have errands and activities this afternoon.
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