Saving Childhood

It took me a few years before I felt called to homeschool. 

My oldest has kept contact w/some kids from the public school and he notices that they are so different from the homeschool kids we know. He said they are all competing w/each other about everything, putting each other down.

He likes his homeschool friends much better!

My husband and I could see our kids change after we started homeschooling, their spirits got lighter, they were more relaxed. 

Homeschooling can be challenging at times but that is the kind of things that make it hard for me to imagine doing anything else.

I notice that my nieces who are public-schooled are definitely more competitive than my girls.  My girls are competitive with each other (to a degree) but won’t negatively (with rudeness or loud behavior) compete with others – my girls back down right away.  Sometimes that concerns me – because i was public-schooled and I know that sometimes you “have to” push yourself out there…..but then again, maybe that’s where I didn’t let God step in and open doors.  I don’t know.

I do know that it seems like public-schooled kids are more sure of themselves and go off and do things (go talk to a waiter/server in a restaurant or go to the restroom in a public place) without asking their parents first – or without telling their parents what they’re intending to do.  In fact, I’ve watched numerous children IGNORE their parents calling their name (Because the parents wanted to know where the kid was going).  On the other hand, it seems there’s definitely more respect for parents among the homeschooled.  More interest in getting advice from the parents.

On saving childhood — it seems that public schooled children are being conditioned to be children forever; homeschooled children are being conditioned to function as contributing citizens.  Cooking meals, handling phone calls, doing housekeeping, mixing and mingling with a variety of ages, etc. 

I know what you are saying, though — letting our children enjoy childhood without the things that require maturity to fully understand is such a good thing.  I remember reading somewhere that God/Jesus is our shelter – and we should be a shelter for our children.  Not keeping them from maturing, but aiding them and shielding them just as Jesus shields us and helps us walk through those tough things.

I’ve heard it said that we may delegate the authority over our children, but we as parents always bear the responsibility for them. Yes, many parents abdicate their responsibilities in raising their children here on earth, but before God that responsibility is squarely on their shoulders.

Most of my kids can be quite competitive in games and sports, but their is a difference in competing to win with a good attitude and displaying good sportsmanship and not. I don’t mind competition when done properly. It’s not a whole lot of fun to play chess or baseball when no one is really competing, but just there to be there. Neither is it fun when one person/team is gloating, or worse belittling the other. However, when everyone tries their best with good attitudes and sportsmanship, well, that can be a whole lot of fun!

I cannot fathom not being in charge of what my kids are learning much less being so out of the loop that I don’t know what their classes are. That is irresponsible parenting in my opinion. I was public schooled yet my parents knew what my classes were and how I was doing in those classes. 

This thread reminds me of a local news segment about a huge brawl with over 600 people, mostly teens, on the northside of Jacksonville on Christmas night. All of these teens fighting and then gloating before the news cameras. This followed by “community leaders” lamenting violence in their neighborhoods and vowing to come together and talk with the perpetrators to see why they behave this way and what can be done about it. Mind-boggling – if parents actually parented, there wouldn’t be this huge problem. People need the saving grace of Jesus, but even absent it, good parenting can go so far. My parents and many of my friends’ parents were unbelievers and yet I never, ever saw or heard of teens behaving like they did in that news segment. Parents have to care more about their families than their own ridiculous self-interests and they have to concern themselves with building character in their kids. Charlotte had it right, we’re all building habits – good or bad. Unfortunately, too many parents leave their kids to flounder and somehow expect them to build good character by chance.

How do you all handle the questions that come from your child encountering something you haven’t introduced?  (for example, an unwed pregnancy or homosexuality or something from which you’ve shielded them)

I’ve noticed that in our family, when it comes up in conversation (dinner table, car, etc.  They “overhear” mom and dad speaking – but it’s not really overhearing, becuase we know full-well that the children are there.) we get some good conversations going….I feel like we can present the two sides (or more) to whatever degree they can handle and then what the Bible says (and our take on that – so many ways to disagree on one Good Book!!!!).

I think my children have learned by default to be silent when they’ve encountered something they don’t understand (be silent where they’ve learned it – a circle of friends, maybe) and then ask us soon.

We recently had a suicide to deal with – and it was interesting to me how my oldest (9) responded with questions.  The 7 adn 5 yo basically ignored the conversation.  Or at least they haven’t talked about it in about a week…..maybe they will later.