Name: CHEC Rocky Mountain Homeschool Conference
Start: 2025-06-12T00:00:00-05:00
End: 2025-06-14T23:59:59-05:00
Location: Denver, CO

Tagged: childhood, school vs. home, socialization

This topic has 9 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 5 months ago by Claire.

Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 10 total)

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December 27, 2013 at 11:10 pm
Claire
Participant
I have been struck this holiday season by how different my children’s childhood is unfolding versus those of children who are more “mainstream” or who are in schools. I sometimes get lost in my own little homeschooling world, I guess. I am shocked to see what’s considered normal and acceptable – from clothes to media! I’m also blown away by this over arching idea by parents that they don’t have much choice or influence over the things that are happening in their children’s lives. Why not?! I always think I tend to be a bit too permissive, but whoa are my eyes opened now. I’m also so amazed at the insistance that this type of life or these types of experiences are “what make kids stronger” or “something all kids have to go through” … what is that all about? I love that my homeschooled children are experiencing things at such a slower more balanced level. They’re actually experiencing childhood as children! lol
December 27, 2013 at 11:34 pm
ServingwithJoy
Participant
I totally agree with you, Claire. I have many friends whose kids are in public or private schools. They are great kids and great families. But there is this sense that it is someone else’s responsibility to educate and form their character. One of my friends was surprised by her son speaking Spanish all of a sudden. She didn’t even realize he was in the class. She thought it was humorous, but to me it was sad and a little scary.
Another friend recently had trouble with her child (kindergartner) being exposed to foul language and behavior from the teenagers on the school bus. The superintendent just responded, ‘kids are kids’. Basically, he told her to tough it out. But when I suggested homeschooling, or even driving him to school, she responded that it just wasn’t possible – even though she has a part time home-based business and is at home all day. It just didn’t fit into her schedule.
I don’t like to judge others’ choices or families…I do think it is possible to love God and serve Him with your kids in school. But there is a sense of responsibility that comes from homeschoolers that I just don’t see in many of these families. Wherever your kids are being educated, the responsibility for their safety and character is on their parents’ shoulders. More parents should be willing to do whatever it takes to take care of their kids.
December 28, 2013 at 1:05 am
petitemom
Participant
It took me a few years before I felt called to homeschool.
My oldest has kept contact w/some kids from the public school and he notices that they are so different from the homeschool kids we know. He said they are all competing w/each other about everything, putting each other down.
He likes his homeschool friends much better!
My husband and I could see our kids change after we started homeschooling, their spirits got lighter, they were more relaxed.
Homeschooling can be challenging at times but that is the kind of things that make it hard for me to imagine doing anything else.
December 28, 2013 at 1:58 am
ServingwithJoy
Participant
It is awe-inspiring to me to see how the homeschooled kids we know are growing up with loving, wholesome hearts. It isn’t that they are ‘better’ than other kids by any means! But there is something about being loved and encouraged by parents that makes for such well-rounded and happy kids.
My kids are all so different! Their interests and personalities and goals are so unique. My 12yo dd is telling me tonight about how she will put together her first quilt, and how she is inspired by Norman Rockwell and his combination of creativity, emotion, and discipline.
And then we have our son who is hyper-competitive and has to constantly be reminded of compassion and grace…who wants to be a Marine or an engineer and serve his country or the Lord in a great way.
And his goofy but sweet younger brother – who has no competitive spirit or personal ambition, but a ton of love and heartfelt gratitude in almost every situation.
The amazing thing about this journey is that we are able to KNOW them – and for them to know each other! It is truly a miraculous thing to launch those arrows into the world, and I feel honored that we are the ones to build them up, day by day, into who the Lord created them to be.
I am grateful that the little bit we give is so multiplied by the Lord for our kids. He is faithful!
December 28, 2013 at 2:33 am
Karen
Participant
I notice that my nieces who are public-schooled are definitely more competitive than my girls. My girls are competitive with each other (to a degree) but won’t negatively (with rudeness or loud behavior) compete with others – my girls back down right away. Sometimes that concerns me – because i was public-schooled and I know that sometimes you “have to” push yourself out there…..but then again, maybe that’s where I didn’t let God step in and open doors. I don’t know.
I do know that it seems like public-schooled kids are more sure of themselves and go off and do things (go talk to a waiter/server in a restaurant or go to the restroom in a public place) without asking their parents first – or without telling their parents what they’re intending to do. In fact, I’ve watched numerous children IGNORE their parents calling their name (Because the parents wanted to know where the kid was going). On the other hand, it seems there’s definitely more respect for parents among the homeschooled. More interest in getting advice from the parents.
On saving childhood — it seems that public schooled children are being conditioned to be children forever; homeschooled children are being conditioned to function as contributing citizens. Cooking meals, handling phone calls, doing housekeeping, mixing and mingling with a variety of ages, etc.
I know what you are saying, though — letting our children enjoy childhood without the things that require maturity to fully understand is such a good thing. I remember reading somewhere that God/Jesus is our shelter – and we should be a shelter for our children. Not keeping them from maturing, but aiding them and shielding them just as Jesus shields us and helps us walk through those tough things.
December 28, 2013 at 2:31 pm
vikingkirken
Participant
Karen, some of that competitiveness may be connected to personality, too… I was public schooled, yet I was a total mouse. I would have done much better in a homeschool setting. Now that I’m homeschooling my own kids, my daughter is like yours, while my son is extremely competitive–one of the big areas we’re working on with him is how to compete gracefully, and when it is ok or beneficial vs hurtful or unnecessary. I think that outgoing, confident nature in public is similar. Public school may encourage independence, but it’s crushing for the painfully shy.
And Claire, I agree! I am incredulous at parents who somehow think they have no choice in the influences over their kids, even young kids.
Servingwithjoy, your last two sentences were perfect. That’s what I’m always trying to say when people ask how I feel about public school–that wherever your kids are schooled, you as the parent are responsible for the authorities and influences you allow in their lives. You aren’t going to be able to stand before the throne of God someday and say “but God, the TEACHER…” (Of course, terrible things happen. And kids turn from God for many different reasons. I’m referring to an attitude that what your kids learn in school is somehow not your responsibility.)
December 28, 2013 at 3:11 pm
missceegee
Participant
I’ve heard it said that we may delegate the authority over our children, but we as parents always bear the responsibility for them. Yes, many parents abdicate their responsibilities in raising their children here on earth, but before God that responsibility is squarely on their shoulders.
Most of my kids can be quite competitive in games and sports, but their is a difference in competing to win with a good attitude and displaying good sportsmanship and not. I don’t mind competition when done properly. It’s not a whole lot of fun to play chess or baseball when no one is really competing, but just there to be there. Neither is it fun when one person/team is gloating, or worse belittling the other. However, when everyone tries their best with good attitudes and sportsmanship, well, that can be a whole lot of fun!
I cannot fathom not being in charge of what my kids are learning much less being so out of the loop that I don’t know what their classes are. That is irresponsible parenting in my opinion. I was public schooled yet my parents knew what my classes were and how I was doing in those classes.
This thread reminds me of a local news segment about a huge brawl with over 600 people, mostly teens, on the northside of Jacksonville on Christmas night. All of these teens fighting and then gloating before the news cameras. This followed by “community leaders” lamenting violence in their neighborhoods and vowing to come together and talk with the perpetrators to see why they behave this way and what can be done about it. Mind-boggling – if parents actually parented, there wouldn’t be this huge problem. People need the saving grace of Jesus, but even absent it, good parenting can go so far. My parents and many of my friends’ parents were unbelievers and yet I never, ever saw or heard of teens behaving like they did in that news segment. Parents have to care more about their families than their own ridiculous self-interests and they have to concern themselves with building character in their kids. Charlotte had it right, we’re all building habits – good or bad. Unfortunately, too many parents leave their kids to flounder and somehow expect them to build good character by chance.
December 30, 2013 at 1:25 am
Claire
Participant
Oh, these were such great points everyone. Thank you for sharing!
I was thinking along the lines of your comment Karen “letting our children enjoy childhood without the things that require maturity to fully understand is such a good thing” when i wrote this post. I sometimes see my children in mixed company and am shocked to see how innocent they seem and how much they lack the worldly negative competitive edge and too mature aspects that seem so accepted for children now.
Wow! Christie, I’m glad I missed that news article. How sad. I totally agree with your thoughts on the parents focus on self versus family and children. I am always making a case for parents actually, well, parenting! I didn’t have children to check off a box of life’s accomplishments! I always impress upon my children that to take on parenthood (as a mom or dad) is a full time, all encompassing job. “Self” takes on a new meaning when you are a parent!
December 30, 2013 at 3:45 am
Karen
Participant
How do you all handle the questions that come from your child encountering something you haven’t introduced? (for example, an unwed pregnancy or homosexuality or something from which you’ve shielded them)
I’ve noticed that in our family, when it comes up in conversation (dinner table, car, etc. They “overhear” mom and dad speaking – but it’s not really overhearing, becuase we know full-well that the children are there.) we get some good conversations going….I feel like we can present the two sides (or more) to whatever degree they can handle and then what the Bible says (and our take on that – so many ways to disagree on one Good Book!!!!).
I think my children have learned by default to be silent when they’ve encountered something they don’t understand (be silent where they’ve learned it – a circle of friends, maybe) and then ask us soon.
We recently had a suicide to deal with – and it was interesting to me how my oldest (9) responded with questions. The 7 adn 5 yo basically ignored the conversation. Or at least they haven’t talked about it in about a week…..maybe they will later.
December 30, 2013 at 7:56 pm
Claire
Participant
We tend to talk things over as a family as they come up. I think open lines of communication are always good. I’ve taught the children to never feel threatened by something that is different. If I’ve done my job, they won’t be so easily swayed by every little thing that they are confronted with … at least that’s been my thinking to this point.