60-day returns • free shipping on USA orders $129+
Sad over friends' choosing to stop homeschooling
- This topic has 10 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 11 months ago by
.
Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total)
- Posts
A couple of weeks ago I found out that our closest homeschool friends are putting their kids in a private homeschool-friendly school next year. The kids will go to school from 8-12, then come home to study, do homework, etc. This is after many discussions with her and her husband about how much they love homeschooling, can’t imagine being stuck to a school’s schedule, love the freedom, etc. Then today, I found out (through her Pinterest boards, no less) that another very close friend will be sending her kids to public school next year.
I’m kind of sick to my stomach over these situations. These two girls are literally my only real homeschooling friends (who I can meet and talk to in person, of course), and now I kind of feel like I’ve been left high and dry. Obviously, I know that my feelings are my business and they’re certainly not obligated to discuss these decisions with me. I’m not mad at them for choosing to stop homeschooling; I’m just sad about it in general: sad that I’ve lost a common ground with these two, sad that our kids won’t be able to play together at the park during normal school hours when the parks aren’t busy, sad that our almost monthly family get togethers probably won’t be happening anymore, and sad that my kids are more than likely losing some of their closest friends because we all know that school schedules are so busy and they rarely have time for much outside of school. We don’t go to church with either of these families, so seeing them at church is out too.
I don’t even understand their decisions. They are both great homeschoolers and do such a good job with all of their kids. They have more kids than me; one has four, the other has five. Anyway, I guess our little forum is back to being my only place with homeschool friends. I love this place, but our kids can’t play together and none of us can get together for dinner at my house (unless you all want to come see me, in which case my door is always open!).
I’m glad for this group. Those of you with co-ops and large homeschool communities are so fortunate! Count your blessings!
Lindsey
Oh, LindseyD, I’ve been there and done that. Sad is a very good descriptor. That’s exactly how I felt when a co-op I loved just kind of fell apart and several families put their kids in school. My children lost their closest friends and I lost my support group. I have no advice to offer, just commiseration. It does get better. We have made new friends now, three years down the road. Wish you lived nearby so we could introduce you to some lovely families.
I’m in the same boat, the only homeschool friend I have had up to this point is doing the same thing and her children are going to public school this fall. It’s such an alone and empty feeling. And sad, it’s just plain sad, really the best way to describe it. In our case we will still see the family because we are related, but I am wondering if there will be any change in the children’s relationships with each other? It seems normal that the other kids will develop friendships at school and as of right now, this is my son’s best friend. He “lost” so to speak a friend prior to this when the friend started school, a few years ago, there just wasn’t the time to play like there used to be. My son still asks about seeing this friend 🙁 But we are truly on opposing schedules, not even weekends are available because we do a farmer’s market and we live 20 miles away. Living in the country is a blessing of course, but makes having friends over challenging at times.
I am really sorry Lindsey. I have recently started praying for new friendships for our family and I will include yours when I’m praying. May God bless us richly! (And in the meantime I guess we get lean on Him more, develop some addtional character and keep our chin’s up.) He is faithful and wants to bless His children, I count friendship as a great blessing! We will be filled with great joy and thankfulness for His strength and companionship right now and for the friendships He will bring in the future!
I’m sorry to hear of your loss. We’ve experienced the same thing here, too, and it is hard. Even though we are a part of a large hs group, making/keeping/growing/nurturing friendships is still challenging. Everyone is so busy and it’s difficult to get together outside of the “scheduled” field trip/s, or when school is out (meaning, co-op is over, etc.).
I do wonder what transpires when families who are so committed to homeschooling decide later to send their dc to ps/pr. school. Not that I base all of my decisions on others but I do find encouragement from those who have graduated out their children. I always wonder what they really felt about the whole thing (which I realize is wrong and not really any of my business). If I were to send my dc back to school most people would think I was crazy. I realize we all have the right to change our minds, I just get curious as to what causes the change.
May God bless all of you with new friends.
Sorry to hear this. I have only 1 hs family who we associate with and like you would be very sad if they decided to send there kids back to a public/private shchool. I will pray that God send someone else into your life when the time is right to be-friend your family. You are not alone it’s lonely at times being a hs family, being not the norm and not ‘busy’ like the rest of the world. HUGS
This type of thing happened to us as well. It feels very lonely for a bit, but God will provide as I’m sure you already know.
When we started homeschooling we were the only ones for several years and it was a bit lonely for me. Then people moved in and others started homeschooling. Now we’ve been at it long enough that quite a few have left homeschooling too. It is sad to lose likeminded friends. Some of them are still good friends, others have swung to the other end of the spectrum, against homeschooling. I’ve noticed a lot of those ones are the families who stopped as their children reached middle school/high school ages. Suddenly they were not so confident that they could meet the academic and social needs (their spoken reasons). Several have become ultra busy, with the kids now in many clubs, groups, sports, on top of school itself. I just try to be a friend and accept that they’re in a different stage/circumstance so we naturally won’t be as close.
Of course, that’s happened in other arenas too, like growing a family. Everyone who was having babies with me when I had my first or second stopped years ago. They’re out of the baby/toddler stages and don’t plan to go back. While I’m still in the thick of it, with baby #8 coming soon. They plan activities like going to an amusement park because all their children are old enough and tall enough to ride, while I’m still enjoying parks, playgrounds, and the zoo. Their kids don’t play with younger siblings and so they don’t understand why Makayla would want to include her younger siblings in activities.
I think it’s just part of life. It is sad when families go different directions, but it’s going to keep happening in lots of areas.
Lindsey, I understand how you’re feeling. I’m so tired of feeling alone in this endeavor, never having someone to just go have a cup of coffee with and share a hard day or month. I’ve actually thinking of putting my younger two in PS in the fall due to ME being lonely and not having any likeminded friends anymore.
Thank you all for your understanding! Yesterday, I was just feeling totally alone in this, and I know now that I’m not, thanks to all of you. I was part of SCM for over two years before I ever found a friend in our community whose family was most like ours. Now that she’s sending her kids to ps, I’m back where I started. It’s not a bad thing; it’s just that I hate feeling alone.
Des, I understand wanting someone to have coffee with or just talk to. I told my husband yesterday that I had to be honest and confess that the thought of sending my kids to school crossed my mind after both of these friends decided to send theirs to school. I immediately got a sick feeling in my stomach. I can’t imagine NOT homeschooling! God has placed such a burden on my life to homeschool, and that is more important than my loneliness or wanting to “fit in” or whatever. Knowing that He has equipped me to do what He has called me to do is sometimes the only thing that keeps me going–or at least it was until I found these friends. Now, I’m back to that. I hope you don’t give up just because you’re lonely. It’s so hard, and I feel your pain. But remember that you won’t be at peace with sending your kids to ps, unless you’ve prayed about it and know that’s what God is telling you to do. Be encouraged!
And thank you all again for your encouragement!
I know the feeling as well. While we have a small co-op group, no one else goes to the same church as we do and the one really good friend I had in the group moved away right before Christmas this past year. It was a sad and lonely time especially as she doesnt/isn’t able to stay in touch by email either. My kids lost some good friends as well by their moving away. (to far to go and visit).
I am also thankful for this forum and my husband who, as my best friend, makes him mean even more to me.
Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total)
- The topic ‘Sad over friends' choosing to stop homeschooling’ is closed to new replies.