Routines

Well, when they get older and you know they can handle doing these things by themselves, there are a couple things you can do.  (I read this stuff in a book by Kevin Leman.)  First, you only say things once, like “Finish your morning routine” or “Make your bed.”  Then you just walk away and expect it to be done.

If, for example, the bed is not made when you see it later, then you can “hire” someone else (a sibling or yourself) to do it, pay them a dollar or whatever you figure it’s worth, then take it out of the non-bedmaker’s allowance.  You don’t even have to say anything at the time.  Later that week, when you give Mr. Messie $4 instead of $5 and he asks why, you just tell him, “Oh, I had to pay ________ a dollar to make your bed.”

Another way to approach it (and this can work with younger kids as long as you feel you have allowed a bit of time to teach them and build the habit) is when that child asks for his computer time later in the day, you tell him “No, you did not make your bed this morning, so you do not get to play on the computer.” Or if he is supposed to go next door to play with a friend, you tell him “Mommy doesn’t feel like taking you to your friend’s house today because you did not feel like making your bed.”  You don’t say it in an immature tone or anything–it’s just a matter of “B doesn’t happen until A gets done.”  And don’t accept an I’ll-hurry-up-and-get-it-done-now-so-I-can-go response.  Part of the chore was to get it done before breakfast, so now is too late.

3 1/2 is a tad young to expect him to just remember and do the routine, imo. My almost 5yo doesn’t remember from day to day! 😛 Here’s what I have found to work well: I made chore jars for the kids for their daily chores (like dusting, folding clothes, kitty litter duty, setting the table, etc.). I used old baby food jars, but any little jar or container will work. On popsicles sticks, I glued pics &/or words for each chore. On the wall near their light switch, I posted 2 lists – Before Breakfast and Before Bed. These are their morning and evening routines. My oldest can read, my 7yo memorized it, and my 5yo I go down the list with her as she does it (or I have my 8yo do that if I am busy with my toddler). So our routine for the day is up, list, breakfast, chores from the jar, school, playtime/lunch, read-alouds/quiet time, school (if necessary – rare!), free time, chores, supper, free time, bed list, bed. I must say, we’ve been doing this for several weeks now, and boy does it work slick! LOL Now mind you, I’ve been working at getting a routine now for many years…. I finally got one that works, and I’m sure something will come along in a month or 2 and mess it up. 😛

A 3.5 year old can 100% do that without reminders from mom – here’s how:

We use Chorepacks (a la Managers of Their Chores).  Basically the child clips on a badge holder with one card for each thing they are to do, numbered in order and with pictures and words.  They do the first card, then move it to the back of the stack in the badge holder, do the next card, etc. 

We began with mommy working with the children for the first week or two, walking them through the chorepack each morning or evening, inspecting and reinforcing the right way to do each job.  We also established what to do with the chorepack when they finished all the cards (put it on mommy’s desk on top of her keyboard).  That is how they signify that they are done AND that they did every card in the pack.  Then we shifted to mommy just inspecting and praising them for doing their jobs so well. 

Perks:

If you see a child wandering around still wearing the chorepack you know what they’re supposed to be doing and can ask them.  They can look at the badge and get working.

It is easy enough for a 3 year old.  My four oldest do this (ages 3-10), and the 2.5 yo is ready to start an official chorepack with pictures for getting dressed, putting away pjs, etc. 

It is independent of me once they are trained in the chores.  With baby #7 coming it’s so important that the children are responsible for some of the family upkeep.  When I hurt my ankle (tore a ligament and couldn’t walk) the children kept the house running pretty easily without me.  The habit training is priceless!  My 10yo doesn’t need her chorepack anymore to remember what to do, whereas my easily distracted almost 6yo will probably need hers well past age 10!