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Remedies for Complaining
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In reading through the SCM book about narration, Sonya mentioned not allowing complaining in our children and putting in place an instant consequence. I would love to know any ideas you all might want to share as to consequences that have been successful for you. I know it would vary greatly depending upon the child and his/her motivators but would appreciate any ideas you’d like to send along. Thank you!
If applicable, I always gave more of whatever was being complained about. Complaining about 20 minutes of math? You can do 25. Complaining about chores? I’ll give you another chore. Complaining about only getting to watch one show? I’ll take that away too.
I agree with Melanie… we do some of that too. Another thing we do is to “miss out”. If there is continual complaining or acting out then the very next fun/rewarding thing, that child misses out. So if there is computer games in the afternoon (which there usually is during the school year) that child won’t be able to play. Or if I give them candy or cookies as a treat they don’t get any. I usually remind them of the incident and that this is the consequence. We also do time out. This is for anything that is not direct obstinate disobedience. That has a different consequence.
Darn I need a remedy for this for myself! Maybe homeopathic!?! I am kidding but actually not really, my kids complain a lot but so do I, I complain about them complaining, about them not being more willing to help out…
These ideas are vey helpful! Thank you! Petitemom — wouldn’t a homeopathic remedy be wonderful! (smile)
Sonya, I would love to hear your wisdom on this too–if time allows.
I believe you have to get to the heart of the complaining. Complaining doesn’t glorify God, it says that He is making mistakes, has overlooked our needs, or has burdened us somehow. Whining children are disobedient and complaining parents are just as disobedient. I believe that we must learn what true obedience is, as parents first, and show our children what obedience is as well. I’ve mentioned Doorposts bible studies before, and there is a wonderful 30 days “boot camp” for parents (there are activities you can do with your children) that really teach the heart of why we are obedient to God and how to teach our children to be obedient. It has helped me really reign in some of those undesirable behaviors in myself and in my children. We have to get into the Word and get to the heart of the issues we face if we want them remedied.
Wow! Kelley you have truly reached the heart of the matter. Thank you so much! Seeking God and His Word have to be the beginning place. He is so faithful to help us through each challenge we face. I am going to look into the Doorpost book you mentioned as well. I enjoy using their materials but had not seen this one. Thank you again!
Kelley, I looked at the Doorposts website but am not sure which material matches what you described. Could you please post the name of it?
Thanks so much!
Oh, sorry! It’s in the blog.
http://www.doorposts.com/blog/category/30-days-child-training-boot-camp/
And just saying, I’m the biggest complainer ever. Haha! This bible study truly stepped on my toes in such a good way. God is so faithful and good, He deserves my best effort, and my best effort in parenting the children He entrusted me with! I have gotten so much out of this bible study, I can’t recommend it enough.
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