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Relationships
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Recently I been suffering from a feeling of lonelyness. I thought this was from a lack of freinds, but have come to see that I really need to focus on the most important relationships in my life. My relationship with God, and my family have not been as they should be. I know to get in the word and pray more to foster my relationship with God, but honestly don’t know how to foster a relationship with my family. It was mentioned on another post about staying at home all day with the kids, but not being with them, and have realized I have been doing that.
All this to ask for some ideas on how to build a realationship with my children and husband. I know it may seem silly to ask this, but I have never had a good relaionship with anyone and don’t really now how. I am a quiet person and don’t like talking about things. But I know I need to talk with my children to have a relationship with them. It was mentioned, I think in the same post I alluded to earlier, that we can homeschool and still lose our children to the world. I really don’t want this to happen.
Incase your reading this and wondering what it is I am asking for, here is an idea that a neighbor mentioned she does with her family. Every evening at dinner they go around the table and say what the best part of their day was. I am looking for some practicle ideas to help me talk to and build up our family. TIA
Ruth
So far as your husband goes, have you considered reading a book at the same time (something thought provoking) and then discussing it and sharing thoughts? This can be a GREAT way of enhancing a marriage (in my experience, at least.)
Another thing I have found helpful with my husband is to have periodic “evaluations.” I know it sounds hopelessly formal and unromantic, but sometimes it can be really incredible to sit down and say, “This is what I appreciate about you, and about how you communicate (i.e., maybe, you always show interest in what we have been up to while you are at work and make a point to ask about my day.) Thank you for that. This is what I feel is missing in our communication (i.e, maybe, you only give me monosyllabic answers when I ask about your day; I would like to hear more about it.)
And then you give him a chance to answer your concerns; and then he gets a chance to do the same thing for you–say what he is getting from you, and what he needs from you.
That is a simplified version of what I am talking about, so I hope it makes sense….:)
With your kids, I don’t have any suggestions since I only have a four year old and we are still working on communicating at all. 🙂 I do think though that you have a beautiful and worthy goal, wanting to keep communication open and improve relationships with family members. We can all use that reminder frequently. 🙂
Hi, Ruth:
There is a great series of articles on Focus on the Family’s website called “Family Time and Relationships.” You can read the entire series here. It gives ideas on how to build relationships with your children and provides some additional resources at the end of the series.
They also have a series on the role of friendship in marriage. You will find those articles here.
There are a lot of resources and practical ideas on their website, http://www.focusonthefamily.com/.
HTH,
Sue
Unfortunately, I think this is such a common occurance in our modern culture. I was raised in a loving Christian home that was in the church building everytime the doors were open, but when it came to special moments of bonding as a family I felt like something was missing, but didn’t know what is was. Since having my own children, God has blessed me tremendously through conferences, books, blogs, CD’s, & DVD’s of faithful, loving women & men that have shown me ideas to enrich my family life that draws us all closer to God.
Some of my favorites:
Mission of Motherhood & Ministry of Motherhood, by Sally Clarkson; Educating the Wholehearted Child by Clay & Sally Clarkson (new 3rd edition that is 45% larger will be out next month) – has wonderful tips on family life; http://www.itakejoy.com – Sally Clarkson’s blog
Sally has such a gift for describing the minor details of a Christain family life that demonstrates the joy and beauty of living life together that is missing in so many families today.
Vision Forum’s books, CD’s & DVD’s – so, so many great ones. I’ve been able to purchase many resources at greatly discounted rates over the last few years. A few favorites: The Family by J.R. Miller; How to Disciple Your Family, A Plan for Generational Victory DVDs; Family Strategies, Practical Issues for Building Healthy Families, a 20-week downloadable audio series. (A word of caution: I found some of these ideas to be very challenging – take baby steps & ask God for guidance so you won’t become frustrated. The Clarkson’s ideas seem to be a little gentler and easier for me to apply to my life in the beginning.)
Ann Voscamp’s blog – http://www.aholyexperience.com Great nuggets of details of daily family life that inspires me.
Because these are all new concepts for me, I usually have to put in extra effort to begin a new habit and I become frustrated at times when I can’t incorporate all of these wonderful new ideas all at once, but I’m LEARNING to lean on my Father for COMPLETE guidance down this path that is unique for our family. He is transforming me by the renewing of my mind and my family is being blessed in the process. God has a unique and wonderful path for your family as well.
Thank you all for so many great resources! I can’t wait to start implementing some of these in our home.
Not sure the age of your kids. Here are some suggestions of activities you may want to try.
My younger kids like to play dress up. They LOVE it when mom goes in her closet and plays dress up too. I got some adult costumes on clearance in November. I got an angel and a batman. Then we usually end up being silly and chasing each other around the house.
Play games together at least a few times per week. Board games, Wii games, outdoor games, etc. Have a family game night that includes your husband, too.
Doing the nature study with nature walks should bring you closer to God and your family.
Share your thoughts together on books you read and movies you watch. How do they relate to the Bible? Pray together.
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