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reducing my own computer time
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I find I make a new plan for when I allow myself computer time and it works as I intend for a short period but then I allow it to creep more and more into my life again and soon I’m glancing at my computer every available minute. I imagine all I need is more strength in my conviction for why I want to limit my computer time (more ‘will-power’) but I also wanted to see if someone here has suggestions for finding sufficient computer use time without taking (too much) time from your children, husband or sleep time. I only have a laptop computer (no fancy phone or tablet or whatever else is out there). In general I’d like to check my email in the morning and then put it away during the morning while I am focused on the children. I’d love to have an hour of time in the afternoon to do computer work while the children do something redeeming on their own, and then have it off again for the later afternoon time. Then after the children are asleep I spend time with my husband and after that would like some computer time some nights.
This amount of computer time doesn’t seem to be enough for my real needs, let alone my ‘interests’ such as reading this forum or some other place for information/inspiration (for homeschooling/living). I have tried to limit my time severely feeling that ‘the cream will rise to the top’ meaning if I have so little computer time I won’t spend it reading things that aren’t super helpful to me. And besides this ‘information getting’ I like to do, I also have true needs of writing/organizing/planning that take computer time. I don’t know how to figure out how much time on the computer is reasonable each day. It makes me feel sad to think I spend say, three hours, on a computer each day. It feels like I’m not being present enough in my real life…and yet three hours goes by so quickly and there is still more work to do.
If anyone has successfully worked through this issue, I’d love to hear tips on what is working for you. Sometimes I think I just need more resolve to follow my own rules and sometimes I think my vision is unrealistic. Thoughts?
Thanks!
Shannon
Wow, Shannon, this is exactly what I am going through too! I am looking forward to hearing other ladies’ responses. I know one thing that helps me is to actually shut down the computer between uses…this makes it more “inconvenient” to just sneak a peak at my e-mail or blogs throughout the day, which is what I end up doing if it is always on. But of course, I have an iPad too, which is oh-so-convenient and always on! So, to help with that, I put it away in my desk so it is out of sight, out of mind, at least for a while. I have, like you, tried to limit my use by not turning it on until lunch time, unless I know for sure that I am expecting an important e-mail, and having only a set amount of time that I can surf. Hope some of these ideas help!
A question and a few thoughts. First – what do you actually NEED to do on the computer? Not just want to do, but do you have a job you work on a computer for, etc? Must that time be online, or is it something like working on writing a book that can be done offline (or even on paper…gasp)?
What I found when I was working from home for The Old Schoolhouse creating their planners was that I had to leave the internet off so I would focus on just doing the work in Excel or whatever program I was using to create forms/pages. If the internet was on I would slip on just to ‘check email’ or look at something ‘real quick’ and then my work time was totally wasted.
So if you are working/doing a job be super strict about not going anywhere on the computer except the program you need to be in. If you don’t get time to wander online, check forums, or do email so be it. Your first priority is getting your work done.
Now, for finding computer time (be it personal or for work)around kids here is what I do:
– Get up before the kids.
– Have a daily quiet time in the afternoon and do computer then.
– Work in the evening after kids are in bed.
– Shut down the computer and put it away in a case in a closet preferably upstairs or somewhere out of easy access when you are not supposed to be on it.
I know, nothing new there really. When I had a deadline for something pressing my husband would give me an hour kid free in the evening, taking them outside or upstairs to play with dad, so I could focus. But that was the exception, not the norm.
Another way to get a bit of time is to keep the computer open on the kitchen counter when cooking/stirring/baking. That’s how I get on here sometimes (now, for example). I got muffins in the oven, washed up the dishes, and now I get 5 minutes to check the forum.
With all that said I want to add one last thing I’ve found to be true personally. I have to have a specific time to spend with the Lord each day and if I’m finding time for the computer but not that I know things are way out of balance. Right now that time is quiet time.
Good luck! I think people in general don’t recognize just how much time they waste online because it sucks you in and you lose track of time. It’s a dangerous tool of Satan to keep us too busy for the most important things. We don’t have to be doing something bad (a sin), we just need to be too busy to do the things that really matter and he succeeds.
Very true, Tristan! I just wanted to say that I am also trying to cut down not only my time in front of a screen but also the what and how I am using the screen time in general so that not so much time is wasted on, essentially, nothing. I also think that if I want to limit the uses and amount of time my kids are on a screen I also need to be a living example to show that I really do believe in the importance of this conviction. In other words, I need to practice what I preach to my kids! I am still trying to successfully find the perfect balance in this area.
Sometimes I wish there was a way to “time lock” certain apps, programs or parts of the internet so that the discipline to only use the screen time for certain things at certain times was easier to implement!
Blessings on your journey to find balance in his area of your life! It is very important.
-Miranda
Great advice so far! One practical thing that I do if I’m trying to stay off the computer during the day is to keep “computer to do” list on the counter. So, instead of running to the computer 12 times during the day to:
-transfer money in the bank
-print directions so the new dentist
-send an email to my friend regarding how great SCM is
-etc, etc.
I keep a list and then do it all at once. Because whenever I get on the computer the 5 minutes I intended turns into 15.
Thank you for these reminders. I think I have done all of them at some point, but I needed to be reminder to do what I already know.
Tristan, my only NEED is for homeschooling and family management. I don’t have a job. But I’m continually amazed at how much time homeschooling research/planning takes! I *think* we may be getting to a point where we can coast on some of the planning I’ve done already in certain subjects, but others keep popping up like now math, science and early American history.
I can’t get up before my kids because they still sleep in the family bed, but I think this summer they’ll be moving to a room of their own and then I’ll have a little more freedom to move around without waking them up.
But I can do a short computer time in the morning while we are getting ready and limit it to 10 minutes so I can know I have not missed something terribly important overnight. 🙂 Then I’ll turn it OFF and put it in the back of the house until a designated time in the afternoon.
And Jenny, I tried keeping a computer list in the past and it worked really well, but that tip had slipped my mind this time around. So thanks for that!
I agree with both Tristan and Linabean on the more personal reasons for turning off the computer. I want my children to know I value screen-free times for all of us, not just for them. I want them to know I value my time with them more than all the SCM forum reading in the world. 🙂 And it is true, if I don’t have time for the more fundamental and important things in life but make time for the computer, that is not living with priority.
When my oldest (almost 16yo) was young we got our first computer in the house. At that time I would NEVER have turned it on during the day. I remember feeling so guilty about sending an email while he was on my lap, so much that I still remember that email! My how times have changed!
Best,
Shannon
Maybe you could keep a notepad near your computer for a while and use it to log how much time is spent on what things. Then you can review that and decide which of those things are worth your time. Sometimes just the act of logging something can open our eyes to what we didn’t fully realize we’ve been doing.
Doug, that’s a good idea. I’ve never done it for anything, but it helps a lot of people change their eating habits whenever they keep a food journal. You’re right that detailed logging of time/food/whatever can be eye-opening.
Shannon, could you have a timer sitting next to your computer that you set whenever you sit down to it? There’s nothing wrong with giving yourself time each day on the computer, even for browsing, reading blogs, Pinterest, etc. I don’t believe those things waste time, when done in moderation. My family has greatly benefitted from my time spent on Pinterest and blogs. I get good ideas or recipes that they, in turn, benefit from! But I, too, have had many instances when I simply lose myself in the screen and them realize that I’ve lost an hour or more. Give yourself that time, but place your own limits on it. Set the timer for 20-30 minutes or whatever you believe to be a fair amount of time. When it buzzes, turn it off and walk away.
Blessings,
Lindsey
I have kept a detailed time log of what I do with my time twice before, inspired by the feeling I’ve been on the computer too much. And afterwards I make big changes because I don’t like what I see. I think I’ll do it again next week even though it will already be an altered schedule since I know I need to reduce my screen time already. Thanks for the suggestion!
shannon
I have only a minute to post and have not been able to read through others’ replies, so my apologies if I am repeating. The number one rule I follow is to ask myself if what I am doing is helping me to achieve my goals of being the best mother/homeschooler/wife I can be AND if it is keeping me from doing something else that I should be doing. I try to make sure that I am the master of the machine and not the other way around – I use it as a tool to help me achieve my goals, as a means to an end, NOT as the end. This way, it isn’t so much about time spent but how I spend that time. (If I want to read for fun every once in a while, I do that but I listen to that still, small voice inside that tells me when I’ve done enough of that. It takes time to train that voice, though!)
I also keep an ongoing list of projects, both big and small, that I want to do. That way, when I have a few minutes, I can see that I could go clean out that closet that is driving me crazy with the 15 minutes I have, rather than click away with no real goal in mind.
Best,
Kelly
Jenny, I love the idea of a computer to-do list. I can’t count how many times I sat down at the computer and forgot what I was supposed to be doing.
I try to notice what time I got on the computer. It’s easy to lose track of time and think you’ve only been on for 15 minutes (and 30 minutes have passed)!
Jenny, I love the idea of a computer to-do list. I can’t count how many times I sat down at the computer and forgot what I was supposed to be doing.
Oh, I thought I was the only one who did that! I can’t count the number of times I’ve sat down, my mind went blank and I said to my kids, “Does anyone know why I’m sitting here?”
I can use my kindle touch on the experimental web browser to read this forum. I can be away from the computer and is more like my reading time than computer time, which is better on my eyes and my children see me reading my kindle instead of me being glued to the computer screen. Plus I can read it in bed or on the couch, etc.
Here is an older, related thread you may find helpful:
http://simplycharlottemason.com/scmforum/topic/i-was-a-better-mother-before-the-internet
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