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recommendation for a friend without confidence and not a book lover like us
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I have a dear friend I’ve known for almost 20 years, who is really hitting a struggling point. Her husband is military, she is worried about not being able to be financially stable if he can’t provide if he must retire due to a bum knee (conjecture on her part, but securuty is a big area for her), she’s having a surprise baby 3, she is completely unconfident about her ability to HS a preschooler, a 2 yr. old and a having a baby.too. Of course, her opinions on what a child should be doing at those ages is unrealisic anyway (Abeka type minded). She has it in her head that the other women she kn ows inc. me) are supermoms and she can’t do it (I’ve been over this with her). She thinks she should be going to school, getting a degree or learning something, which I don’t necessarily see as a bad thing except this is fear based, not necessarily prudency based.
I am am concerned and deeply burdened in my heart over this because I know where it’s coming from, and it’s not necessarily from Satan, but I believe he is using her weaknesses (security, lack of confidene and self-worth) to abandon G-d’s calling in her life.
I don’t expect her to follow a CM type education model as it doesn’t suit her. However, I think she should get awat from teh ABeka type stuff; her dd (5) is already complaining about not liking HS’ling after being exposed to a preschool type classroom. And I can understand why-all the stimulus, etc…
She needs a guided curricula that also won’t burden her with guilt if she doesn’t get it done “that day”. She’s not eclectic, so she’s not going to pull from several sources to make something. I don’t even think she knows what “type” she is, or her dd, besdies that they both like hands-on.
Can you moms who have these young ages and have used other things (I’ve always been CM w/a touch of classical) help me guide her in the right direction?
What about encouraging HS’ling mom books for that age group?
What about Five in a Row? Or Our Father’s World? Any others that are rich, yet very organized with activities, suggestions?
LAstly, books on overcoming fear and insecurity.
BTW, she is a Christian, her Hubby isn’t. And I don’t even know if he supports her doing anything other than what she’s already doing. I think that G-d is trying to grow her to a next level, more meat, less milk, so-to-speak; to grow into what He wants her to know, more skills; but not outside the home, IMO, for whatever the future holds; but Satan is working hard in her brain, too.
Thank you for your help,
Rachel
Rachel, the first thing I thought of is My Father’s World. There are reasons why I don’t think it’s perfect, but it IS do-able and a good place to start for someone that needs things laid out.
Hi
A great book IMO is So You Are Thinking About Homeschooling by Lisa Whelchel. This is an easy read that gives different ways families homeschool. A book for fears and what not is Lord I Want to Be Whole by Stormie Omartian. A book I have read 3 times over the years. This book walks you through what you need to get rid of in your life past and present. Prayers to pray over your life, house, things from your past, fears, etc.. with great Scripture versus that apply to each subject. I cannot recommend this book enough!
My Father’s World would be a good one for someone who needs structure yet not too overwhelming. Also, Heart of Dakota is based on living books along with a Christian perspective! All laid out for you!
If I think of something else, I will let you know! May God be with you as you minister to your friend.
I would look into Five In a Row, as others have already mentioned.
Also Oak Meadow. It’s a very gentle cirruculum and will have children just doing crafts, helping with chores, hearing lots of stories and learning songs, and spending a lot of time outside everyday, until age six. Then very gently and playfully learning letters, and playing with math/logic. VERY laid back. *Not* Abeka-ish at all. However if she’s very checklist and accreditation minded, she might like that Oak Meadow has a syllabus for each grade, and you can even “enroll” so your child is in an accredited online school. Not that I think enrollment is necessary by any means, but it should satisfy any concerns she has about the curriculum being “good enough”, as it satisfies state standards on an accredit-able level.
I really enjoyed their Preschool package, and for a while owned their Kindergarten and 1st grade packages – I really liked them, but found I don’t do well with pre-planned schedules. (heh) It IS an easy schedule to follow or re-order though, it’s week-by-week if I recall right. A nice bonus to Oak Meadow is it’s been around a while, and it’s popular enough you can find all the materials used. (The older versions have fairy-tales, but the never versions have Beatrix Potter and similar tales – that may be something to be aware of.)
I’d never seen “My Father’s World” before tonight. That looks like a nice gentle start for a child too – but still has a handbook for mom.
I don’t know what to say as far as confidence, as I think that’s something all moms go through at some point! (Some of us hang out there longer than others ::coughcough::) Her children are young enough she has a few years to dabble.
I feel her on the “everyone else is a super mom” note. Do you have any favorite AUTHENTIC style blogs you visit and could share with her? Blogs are a blessing and a curse to the homeschooling world… the sharing of info is fabulous. But so many homeschooling blogs also leave me feeling down. My house isn’t that pretty, my kids clothes aren’t that cute, our schedules aren’t that ship shape… you get the idea. Anyhow it might just be good to remind her that in life and online, people are putting their best-face forward. ESPECIALLY homeschoolers I think, because so many of us are trying to put “concerned family members” (read, un-supportive family members) at ease. (Or fend them off!) It’s hard to openly share authentic homeschooling and homemaking fears when you have family or in-laws who are just waiting for you to fail. So… I didn’t mean to drift off along such a long tangent there, but it might help to remind her that everyone puts their best-face forward. There are no supermoms. Most do their best. Mom’s best is usually good enough.
Anyhow I hope you and your friend luck. It’s kind of you to help her sort through this.
-Laura
Well, without overwhelming her with TOO many possibilities, may I also suggest she take a look at Winter Promise – it’s got LOTS of fun hands on books and a great guide… I might even be willing to part with my set, as I too found that while it’s nice to have a guide book when you’re getting started – I’m much more comfortable planning on my own for future pre-schoolers. Their website is http://www.winterpromise.com and if she likes their “I’m ready to Learn” pack, please pm me and I double check the condition and fullness of the kit I purchased last year.
Blessings,
Rebekah
I would also weigh in with My Father’s World or maybe Living Books Curriculum.
Living Books Curriculum has a story Bible, but it is not as Bible based as MFW if that is an issue for her husband. It doesn’t have preschool curriculum, but I think the K program would work well with a 5 year old. http://www.livingbookscurriculum.com/
I just wanted to add that to help her in her security issues and overall growth as a christian I recommend doing a long term Bible study with her. I would start in Genesis and go through story by story (one a week) with her. After each story begin asking her questions…starting with these two: What does this say about God. What does this mean for you? Then she can get to know God’s character better…His promises…His provisions. She will hopefully be able to see that she can trust Him, just as the people in the Bible could trust Him. Getting her eyes on Him will help her get her eyes off these other things that she thinks might make her safe and happy. :o)
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