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Questions for those with many children
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I think one thing to do is be flexible with the kids as you settle in. You may decide to have separate beds and divide them up and they may change beds in the middle of the night to sleep with a preferred person. I would watch those night changes and if they are consistent ask the kids if they want to rearrange who sleeps where. It sounds like you’re already flexible.
Our exciting news is that the first family decided to not proceed with the adoption so now we get to decide. I know there are many larger issues to think about but something smaller came up today. What about dishes and cups? I feel we use entirely too many as it is with only four of us home all day. We’ve tried labeling the cups and that works a bit, but wasn’t a system we kept up with (the labels would fade and then were of no use and I felt wasteful making new labels though really it isn’t that wasteful). So what tips do those of you with lots at home all day do to control dish use? Thanks!!
Lol…We aquired service for 36. That solved our “never enough dishes” problem.
Granted, that then created the “too many dishes to wash” problem.I know a lot of people hate this – but we use a lot of paper products and dishes around here. Even at that, we run the dishwasher 3 times a day! Our pastor has a big family, and they put 2 dishwashers in their house – what a dream!
But, on the more practical side…I have read of families that color code each child’s dishes and cups. That way you know who left that cup on the table – it’s blue, and that’s Bobby! I am sure this requires a good deal of training, however. Some families even have each child hand wash their plate/cup after each meal, so it is ready for the next use.
Congratulations and blessing to you! I have a good friend who did exactly what you are considering – had 4 kids and adopted 4 siblings. Yes, it was difficult…and yes, they traded in some luxuries (like the suv for a huge van) but in the end, who cares about that stuff? In God’s kingdom, it is the people who matter.
We like having individual water bottles with varying colors/styles, and permanent marker lasts a long time on waterbottles too.
Beyond that it’s just training the children to load and unload the dishwasher. Dishes don’t go on the counter after eating, they get loaded by the person who used them.
Thank you for your ideas. I’m a minimalist by nature – I know that is counterintuitive for a mom of 8! – and a place setting for 36 makes me gasp. 🙂 We don’t even have enough bowls right now for all of us to use one; someone has to get a small serving bowl or mug. I love the idea of color coordinating but even with a family of 6 I’ve had a hard time finding a setting with colors for everyone, so I imagine when we have 10 that will be impossible. (If you know of a brand let me know!) I also love the image of everyone handwashing their place setting right away and have considered implementing that in my family for years but it gets overruled. Right now we run the dishwasher after dinner and I empty it either later that night or in the morning. It is such a perfect little system. But clearly that won’t work any longer. Maybe now is the time to move to handwashing. 🙂
ServingWithJoy, would your friend be willing to email with me?? Did she homeschool? Did her new children speak English? I have not found anyone to read about or chat with how has homeschooled newly adopted children who didn’t speak English. I’m sure they’re out there, just not easy to find. If anyone knows of someone who would be willing to email with me, I’d love to hear.
Shannon,
I follow a mom who homeschools and they have adopted from India. They girl they adopted has been with them about 9 months, she’s school age and they homeschool. They have 3 children. Their biological daughter and their adopted daughter both have Spina bifida like Mason, though at different levels of severity. So on top of adoption, language, and homeschooling they have tons of medical appointments. The mom’s name is Jaime and here is her blog: http://www.aworthyjourney.com/
I think my friend would be willing to chat with you via email – she does homeschool. Her adopted children were American – it wasn’t a foreign adoption. However, they did have many delays and challenges due to the mom’s drug use.
Have you read about the attachment issues, etc, that you will be encountering? I know that has been the biggest hurdle for many of my friends who have adopted (especially internationally).
If you will PM me your email, I will get in touch with my friend. She is a friendly Texan and has always had the biggest heart on earth (obviously!) so I am sure she would love to help in any way she can.
I only have 3 kids, but then have 2 or 3 more in my home daycare, so usually feed 6, plus myself.
We also have individual water bottles so that the kids aren’t getting a new cup every time they are thirsty.
I use paper towels as plates whenever possible (most snacks, sandwiches, etc.) We use the ‘select-a-size’ type so they are only half size. I think the minimal cost is mostly offset by reduced dishwasher use and time saved. We compost most of the paper towels, so that reduces our environmental impact.
We run the dishwasher every evening after supper, then unload in the morning and reload after breakfast and lunch, so it runs again in the afternoon, to be unloaded as part of supper preparation. Anything that doesn’t fit in the evening load gets washed by hand.
We have colour coded towels, both for baths and hand towels, so they get used for a few days before needing to be laundered. We use the IKEA kids plastic dishes, so theoretically we could colour code dishes (there are six colours), but it doesn’t seem worth it. A dirty dish has to be washed before it is used again, regardless of who used it.
We have 5. The kids use the same dishes for all 3 meals. I have taught them to line up their dishes in descending age order. I rinse the plates and they sit there until the next meal. We also keep the same napkins at their spots until they are un-usable. Maybe you think it’s gross, but it works for us! I keep all 5 snack bowls set aside and they use them multiple days in a row (they are eating crackers, pretzels, etc). Using this system and my DH’s really efficient dishwasher loading, we are only running the dw every other day. The two biggest (5 and 6) take turns unloading it after breakfast.
I just wanted to say that the girls we were hoping to adopt had another family file a Letter of Intent today – a step ahead of us – so we will not be able to proceed. We are of course sad, and also feel contentment for the girls knowing they will all be adopted together…and soon. Thank you everyone for your input on this decision making process and I hope to put the advice to good use another time with another adoption. 🙂
Granted, that then created the “too many dishes to wash” problem.
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