Question about gifted children. Serious question – not intending to brag.

I highly recommend reading the book Ungifted. It is about IQ tests and what helps all kids succeed but I think the parent of a gifted child could get a lot out of it too. My review of it is here:

http://lettersfromnebby.wordpress.com/2013/07/27/book-review-ungifted

IMO not having any gifted kids, CM is a great way to go for them because it sees the potential in all students. I think with a CM education there is probably not a lot special you need to do other than choosing books appropriate to their level and if course if there is a specific area of aptitude, let them pursue it. I would only seek out other gifted kids if for some reason your child feels different and left out and needs to see that there are others like him.

Nebby

There would be NO point in anything to do with Mensa.  It is a bragging-rights organization.  

He is clearly bright.  This should cause few problems.  You will need to be flexible on how you use curriculum.  as some things he may move rapidly in, and some things he may not.  Bright children are often quite asynchronous–may be very far ahead in one thing, but even behind his age group in others.  Really, you don’t need to treat him much differently.   You will need to eventually explain to him that when he’s with others his age he may notice that he is faster at some things–but then point out that others may be faster than him at other things.  Treat heart issues like heart issues.  Do not use the label “gifted” to the child.  He may or may not benefit from other gifted kids.  I’d wait and see.  Five is very young!  If he develops an interest in a subject, then by all means find kids good at that thing–whatever it is. Chess.  Robotics.  Writing.  Whatever floats his boat.  Many gifted kids have sudden serial “passions” so expect to have MANY interests.  LOL  You can look at some sites online, like http://www.hoagiesgifted.org.  This may help you deal with some of the collateral issues.  But the central issue is to teach him well and disciple him well.  There is no need for pride here.  Neither you nor he had anything to do with his aptitude here–God gifted him.  This must mean He has a plan for what to do with those gifts!  

One of the things that helped me with my kids was Boy Scouts.  My kids are like me–they tend to live in their heads.  It’s an interesting place to be.  🙂  But Scouting made them focus on outside of themselves–for service, for working with other boys who were very different from them.  Watching other boys swim like fish while mine had to really struggle.  We tend not to be very coordinated physically, so my boys got very good at finding something they had to work hard at, and watching others do it easily–that was quite an experience itself.  It added a whole other dimension to our lives and kept us from being total geeks.  (Ok, that’s debatable–we probably ARE total geeks.  But we are total geeks who can start fires!!!!!!!)  LOL

I don’t have any advice for you, and I don’t have time to read the above posts, but being the wife of a gifted and the parent to at least a couple (probably all 4 in different ways), I can tell you that I have gotten some great support and ideas and info from both the AO Gifted forum and from GiftedHomeschoolersForum.org (they are on FB and on the web).  If for nothing else but putting you in touch with others in the same situation!  🙂

Well, there are many bright kids who are good at one thing or another.  I think a major difference between someone who is truly what one might call “gifted” would be that there is a drivenness present in some kids that just isn’t there in others although the others may be truly bright.  A good bright kid that is pretty normal is a great gift and can just be encouraged and nourished and enjoyed; many “gifted” kids have various issues.  Some present in my home would be: intense fascinations with topics, extreme logical thinking at early ages, sensory/emotional issues (in my home, three of us cannot handle seams in socks, the feel of wool or polyester, bright sunlight and we startle intensely at loud noises.) Other things we have:  many things we taught ourselves (ds #1 and I taught ourselves to read at age 3; then ds when age 6 taught his  brother, age 4, to read; ds #1 figured out the concepts of squares and square roots on his own at age 5 and had a whole page illustrated full of problems showing me how these could be used.  LOL)  Also we have justice/fairness issues—two of my kids just cannot stand something unfair and will worry/fret/argue over it for weeks and weeks at a time.  The inability to leave something–a problem, difficulty, issue alone.  Many gifted kids can become quite agitated if they are not being challenged mentally.  My oldest and I have some interpersonal and anxiety issues as well.  Any of these issues, when present alone, is a problem on its own, but the entire complex, plus clear above average intellectual abilities, is usually what an educator might mean when discussing the “gifted.”  I have to say, having had ds #1 in school for a bit–his giftedness was very nearly a DISability there, and they were less equipped to handle his issues than they were to handle his developmentally delayed and ADD peers.  This is one reason we brought him home.  They just had no idea what to do here.  There is a TAG (talented and gifted) program here, but it only starts in 4th grade and mostly consists of math and robotics competitions (which are fine as far as it goes–but there is no teaching how to handle “downsides” of giftedness.

Most kids with issues will score in the 140’s or even significantly above, OR they might have a less high AVERAGE score but have very, very high scores in one area.  Just for informational purposes, not bragging, my first test was interesting.  I was 11.  My average score was 145, but that had some interesting components.  I ran the entire vocab section, getting every question right, but could not even do the first spatial manipulation problem.  LOL  They actually had to ask someone in California how to score me because my scores were so odd and the psychologist had never had a child do the entire vocab section before.  Also, there are several common IQ tests; on one, I always score well in the 140’s or 150’s but on others I score in the 120’s and 130’s.  LOL  I”ve never joined Mensa; but their puzzle books are fun.  We do those in the car when we travel.  

I don’t know that all gifted kids are lazy. Some can become so, but I was always driven almost.  In high school and college I set up schedules for myself in 15 minute increments all day, every day, to try to get as many things done as I wanted.  I DID have a tendency not to work as hard in things I was not as interested in or as naturally good at (like math, lol) but I still had a compulsion to work hard.  I did not care about my grades as GRADES exactly, but I had a real issue with missing questions and problems and I really, really, REALLY hated to miss questions.  I would stay up nights fussing about something I missed, obsessing over it, and trying to make sure I’d NEVER EVER MISS IT AGAIN.  This is not really normal behavior, but it is pretty normal for gifted kids.  They don’t all obsses over missed questions, but many of us do obsess over SOMETHING.  My oldest had for years a thing for measurements.  He measured everything and if he was unhappy with a measurement he had an issue.  He used to take a tape measure to measure the inseams of jeans we were considering buying because he did not want the two legs to be more than an eighth of an inch different.  LOL  It would bug him if flower petals measured unequally.  I once caught him TRIMMING some so they’d be more equal.  Yes, I know, this is weird.  This is kind of the point.  Bright kids–easy.  Just let them move at their own pace.  “Gifted” kids–well, they can take a little extra work.  You have to kind of keep them balanced between enough mental stimulation, and too much.  We spent a lot of time adjusting.  And trying to learn to adjust.  (In case you are wondering, no, I don’t consider these odder behaviors acceptable and we actively work on, um, adjusting and assimilating so we can get along better with our other loved ones.  We learn about our susceptibilities and also our gifts and discuss how God would have us treat others and use our gifts.)  We discuss WHY it’s not OK to try to build a plasma generator in the backyard and, no, I won’t buy you any black powder.  EVER.  And even if you calculated the lift and drag correctly, you cannot “fly” your little brother off the roof with the wingset you just built.  And yes, technically, the man you heard DID in fact make an error in his talk but you cannot go up and correct him—most adults don’t handle being corrected by eight-year-olds very well.  And yes, I know you only want to calculate velocity of items all day, but you really do have to do your chores and your dictation assignment ANYWAY.  Yes, I’m sure Albert Einstein had to learn how to spell.  Sigh.  

I’m not sure Albert Einstein did learn to spell – he had a lot of language problems as a kid (didn’t talk until very late, if I remember right…. like 8?  Hm – I’ll have to find a good biography) – and he was considered “backward”.

I can mostly only discuss myself…  My kids are all VERY bright, but I don’t know if any would be considered gifted.  I learned to read when I was 3 (and with very bad vision….) – my parents would NOT have taught me as that was considered a problem to go to school being able to read, and they had had problems with a school because one of my older brothers could read.  My understanding (as it is before my memory starts) – my sister played school with me one day…. and I was reading.  (My parents gave up and got out the Dick & Jane readers they owned (my dad was a teacher) and let me read.)  But I think I was obsessed with reading even before that.  Most of the non-posed pictures of me when I was even 18 months or 2 years old I’m carrying a book, or sitting looking at a book…  (Usually the #1 childcraft book with nursary rhymes in it.)    I was reading at about a grade 5 or 6 level by age 4. 

Math… well – my dad often taught math (high school by the time I was around…) – and I’d help correct the papers.  Yes, there was a marking guide – and there were instructions on when to flag for him to check it…   I knew the concepts of the varoius arithmetic functions early (not sure how soon I had memorized or anything) and would sort-of make challenges with the boring sheets we had at school.  For instance, I developed a totally different way to subtract multi-digit numbers without carrying that involved negative numbers….. in grade 2.  (My teacher that year was sure I would become a mathematician.)  Squares, Square Roots, Cubes, exponents… not a problem.

I know that I was tested when I was about age 5 or so.  In those days, they wouldn’t tell parents/kids the IQ…. and I was only tested because a friend of the family was working on his degree…..  He did comment to my mom that I was “very special”.  Aptitude or Scholastic tests were never hard.  I don’t remember my SAT scores (pretty high.)  I joined the military as an officer, and before that had to take a timed Military Aptitude Test.  I honestly don’t think you were supposed to be able to finish it…. I was working on the last problem when time was up.  Again, I don’t know the results – but the officer that marked it said “You don’t have any problems at school, do you…” so I assume it was high.  One post-secondary school I went to had an entrance exam…. I got the comment that it was the highest mark that tester had ever seen (again, I suspect you weren’t supposed to finish it.)

In high school I took the International Baccaulauriate program – mostly because all my older siblings had dropped out of school because of boredom, and I wanted to graduate.  The orientation warned the parents and kids of the heavy workload – 4 or 5 hours of homework each night….  I rarely had homework… I had it all done in school.

I don’t think I was lazy – but I didn’t have to work hard at very much.  There were subjects I didn’t do as well at (spelling, foreign languages, biology) – but I didn’t do badly either – just not excellent.  But I guess I wasn’t the perfectionist – I didn’t care too much – I’d just focus on the ones I did like.  Possibly because of that, I failed my first year at university.  (Yup, there is a university in Canada that I can NOT go to until I have more credits at another university because I failed a term of Engineering….)  I’m not sure if the work got harder and I didn’t know how to study – or if it was because I happened to be suffering from depression at the time…. probably a bad combo.

I think the only real thing you can say about a gifted child is that their giftedness will come out in unique ways.  People often expect their maturity level to match their intellectual level, and it rarely will.  They can have “quirks”.  They can also be more prone to mental illnesses like depression.  Some find it harder to socialize (especially if they get that proud attitude over being smarter).    

I don’t know if any of that helps….