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problems with cursive/prereading stuff/attitudes
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So my 6yr old ds is fighting me tooth and nail to do one letter a day in cursive, even in the air, etc. We tried off and on all last year and made it thru the numbers which he can now read and write, but trying to do any letters is killing all joy of learning in this area. Also, trying to do pre reading skills ala SCM style and is fighting on that as well for sight words/letter sounds/letter magnets making new words. His younger brother, who is 4, is catching on and having fun (so I’ve been just playing at it with him and treats and encouragement, making a big fun to-do) while ds6 just just pouts, refuses or tries to show how smart he is by skipping all of that and tries to write a random word in print all backwards and poorly formed instead of doing the letter sound or whatever we’re doing at the moment.
Deep sigh. I have tears in my eyes right now. He even slammed his door and wet the floor in his room he was so mad during today’s exercise, all 2 minutes of it. Of course he cleaned it up himself and lost a privilege for acting out that way. I remember feeling the hot flush of failure and pride many times myself as a child and would just give up and go the easy way to avoid feeling like that. How do I curb this/redirect in my son?
Perhaps I should table all efforts with ds6, continue to “play” at these things with ds4 who wants to do it and someday it will just miraculously happen. This isn’t a hill I want to die on right now. But also don’t want him to “win” and also forget what he has been able to write, and letter sounds he does know. Comments, suggestions, anyone?
I can see I am really dealing with 3 issues, now that I’ve typed it all up (pride/stubborness, cursive writing – one letter/number at a time, and beginning reading skills). Oh ladies, Help!
Hi Heather,
Sounds like your son is frustrated with school for some reason, do you sense any learning issues? If not, then understanding these stubborn issues and improving it with discipline habits may need to be dealt with before trying to do actual school.
Either way, his habit of obedience is of FIRST importance. It is good that he is young and can be molded easier. 🙂
Could he be upset because his little brother seems to be “getting it” and he is finding it really difficult? Could he be feeling insecure or inadequate because of that? Has there been a time ever that he felt excited about learning his letters or numbers? If he is finding it difficult there may (or may not) be an issue. Does he enjoy being read to? Is he more hands on? You could try cutting letters out of sand paper and letting him feel and trace them, or writing in sugar or pudding on a cookie sheet with his finger.
If you feel this is strictly an obedience thing you need to nip it in the bud (sometimes easier said than done). But if this is a case of an academic struggle, don’t assume a learning disability, some children just learn later than others. Not every child is the same — that’s the beauty of homeschool! You work with your child at his level. It is not a reflection of his intellegence if he is a late reader. Perhaps let up a little — find fun activities that you can do with words that doesn’t require writing just to bring back a love or at least an interest in language — look for a rhyming word game to play, learn some fun jokes to tell dad, find time to cuddle up with just him and read: restore the easy feelings between you, and perhaps make a point to work with him on letters/reading when little brother is occupied with dad or doing something else. Maybe if he doesn’t feel a need to compete with his little brother (especially if little brother is earning more rewards than him.)
Agree with 4myboys. For a fun thing to to do with letters, use playdoh or cookie dough and roll up snakes (long skinny pieces) and have fun making them into letters, and then words. The colors and tangible manipulative parts may really grab his attention. Practice his name and funny words.
Don’t force the school part. It will come. He is pretty young – I have read that some kids just don’t get it until 8-9yo. Be kind, consistent and move at his pace.
Thanks ladies! Yes, I am not concerned about any learning issues, nor am I really trying to push academics too much. Mostly for 1st gr yr we are just reading, about everything. Listening to music, picture up on display, carving, doing art on their own, games and stories for math. Which is why I’ve been doing salt box, chalk outside, etc. for this as well. Trying to keep it fun and simple, not a workbook or textbook in sight. I know it is normal for boys to not learn to read or struggle with writing until even 9 or 10 or so.
Good thought to try and do it when younger ds is with Dad or something. That is a thought. Older ds has done it with success all last year for numbers and only a couple letters and it was no big deal. I will try it with playdough as well. Fortunately, the kids and I love to read, and so we read several chunks of time each day per their requests for storytime. I just was following the SCM guide as to what to include this year. And since he doesn’t know all the sounds, and can’t write his name, I thought we’d work on that this year. (all the ps here have them do it at 4-5 yrs old which is insane!) We re-tied heartstrings this afternoon and he invited me to play with him and read a special carving book with him which I did.
Q. Should I toss out my idea to use Cursive First and just let him print? (the childcare workers at a sewing group I went to taught him a few things, and has refused cursive ever since. Perhaps he thinks I’m not a “real” teacher or something).
I know some people prefer to teach cursive first, which is of course totally fine, but I went the route of letting my dd decide when to start (though I probably would have added it myself if she took too long to ask). She asked to learn last year when she turned 8 and was entering 2nd grade. I didn’t think she would do a very good job (so optimistic of me huh!?) b/c her print is not the greatest, but I learned my lesson b/c she writes better in cursive than in print and is very proud of herself, much more proud than she was of learning to print. Our second homeschooled dd was in K this past year and has been tagging along for my other dd’s first three years so she catches on faster and does generally have an easier time with many subjects, and her big sister notices this and is not a fan. I would guess a combo of smart and excited younger sib, less of a natural ease with the subjects, and not yet being developmentally ready to do some of the things others his age are doing would be the culprit. I could be wrong of course, but being so young, I do not see the harm in backing off a bit, finding joyful ways to experience letters and books, and exploring in depth things he loves (trains?animals?space?) and connecting those things to letters etc may help with the attitude and help him to relax enough for the learning to take place more naturally? I hope things improve, try not to get frustrated, you are doing a wonderful job. Can you imagine if he was lost in a class with 20 other 6 year olds? You are doing the right thing. God bless.
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