60-day returns • free shipping on USA orders $129+
Problems from neighborhood kids?
- This topic has 5 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 14 years ago by
.
Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
- Posts
We don’t have alot of children in our neighborhood, just 3 others besides mine. My daughter has been allowed to go to the neighbor’s house to play, as long as she stays outside where I can see her, never goes indoors no matter who invites her, and always runs home quickly when the alarm I send with her rings. We’re talking 30 minute to hour intervals once or twice a weekend. These are Christian families and the children go to public school. Lately I’ve been hearing
and
go to bed at 8…why do I have to go to bed at 7?
and
have their own TV. Why can’t we watch TV?…. When can we get a new car like
(double incomes in both of those families- our cars are 13 and 18 years old :))? My school is so hard, complain, complain, complain. It occured to me today that this discontent she is having with school and other things is stemming from her playing with these kids. She used to say she was happy she didn’t have to go to public school, now she says she hates school.Have any of you had these types of problems with neighborhood kids? Do you nip it altogether and cut off communication or just have a talk with your child about the behavior issues and continue to allow contact? It’s not like she spends much time at all with them and they are sweet little girls, but if this type of discontent is being bred in her from no more than a couple of hours per weekend, what else is there to do?
This type of thing does happen a lot in general between kids… I’m not sure I know the solution.
My grandson (7) was over being babysat, and I needed my son (also 7) to do his violin practice. Normally I don’t interrupt playing for a practice… but I didn’t have much choice if we were going to get a practice.
My grandson said (in “that” tone…) “I don’t have to do violin”. I’m afraid I probably didn’t handle it best… I said to him, “Yes, and [my son] only does about 2 hours of school a day” (my grandson goes to school.) My grandsons mouth dropped, and didn’t say anything else about it (at least with me around.)
This is so hard. One of the main reasons that I work so hard to keep my kids out of school is to stay out of this race of comparison. As you have found, and so have I, a little bit of it creeps in to our lives, but not like the kids who wake up in the morning and go to bed at night, having all day long been ranking and reranking themselves and others according to their possessions, looks, fashion sense, etc. It is a very stressful way to live for a child.
I think one of the most valuable things a person can learn is how to be satisfied, and how to admire without coveting or envying, if that makes any sense. Unfortunately, we can’t legislate this for our children, they have to get there on their own, but I try to give them the tools to get to that point.
I get the why don’t we have a new car question a lot too. We will get a new car, I say, when we need one. Our car is fine. Yes those other cars are beautiful. I like them too. I explain that our car is paid for and when we need a new car, we will have to find a way to pay for it – I often explain about how many hours of work it takes to get certain things, to explain how we decide what to purchase.
I have explained about bedtimes, too. Why do we go to bed at x time? Because we need to get up at y time and we need z hours of sleep, so this is what we have to do to accomplish that goal. I try to get them to see that we do things for a reason, not just on a whim or to fulfill a temporary desire.
It seems that especially as they enter the teen years, it is somewhat natural to compare oneself to others and strive to fit in – but I am hoping that some of these skills can help them keep it in perspective, and come through this time with the ability to make their lives something with which they are satisfied.
All that was to say – yes I deal with the same things! I try to make it a growing and learning experience for my children, but it is hard!
I have the same problem with my son. He is only 5 1/2, but the school is on base and he sees the kids playing outside at recess and wants to know why he can’t go to school. All he knows of school is that is where all the kids are and they are playing. He doesn’t understand what the rest of the school day is like for the kids in school.
A friend of mine who also homeschools had a “real school” day with her kids to show them how good they had it when her kids started complaining about school. She woke the kids up early (at the time needed to get ready to catch the bus) which was several hours earlier than they were used to. They could not talk to each other (which they really didn’t like) , they had to sit at the table (they were used to sitting on the couch around mom) and raise their hands to ask a question or go to the bathroom. She extended the lessons to an hour long and lectured like the teachers in school do. By lunch the kids were begging to go back to homeschool. When my son is a little older, I plan on doing something like this if he continues to complain.
I haven’t had any problems yet with the comparing of other things, except toys. I agree with Gem though, about explaining why things are the way they are. I tell my son he can’t watch much TV because of how it affects him.
HTH, Ruth
Thank you ladies, I am glad to see that others deal with this issue too. Ruth, I never thought of having a “real” school day, although I may just change the name to “government” or “public” school day since IMO homeschool is the way real school should be 🙂 That is a fantastic idea. I’m going to stick that in my hat and pull it out if the complaining continues! Thanks so much!
Suzukimom, I probably would have said exactly the same thing!
Gem, it is sad and brings it into perspective. We may have to deal with this in our children from time to time, but it is nothing like what the children who are sent away to school have to deal with all day long every day of the week.
I love this board and want to thank all of you who take the time to minister to others with your experience and encouragement!!
Thanks again!
A friend of mine who also homeschools had a “real school” day with her kids to show them how good they had it when her kids started complaining about school. She woke the kids up early (at the time needed to get ready to catch the bus) which was several hours earlier than they were used to. They could not talk to each other (which they really didn’t like) , they had to sit at the table (they were used to sitting on the couch around mom) and raise their hands to ask a question or go to the bathroom. She extended the lessons to an hour long and lectured like the teachers in school do. By lunch the kids were begging to go back to homeschool. When my son is a little older, I plan on doing something like this if he continues to complain.
Ruth, thanks, I’m going to remember this if I get too much complaining in the future. My girls don’t really want to go to school because they like being homeschooled, it’s just getting started in the morning is where we have a problem. I get things like, “We want to play with each other.” The best one I get is “Oh, it’s a beautiful day and you always tell us we should be outside whenever we can.”
Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
- The topic ‘Problems from neighborhood kids?’ is closed to new replies.