As some of you know from my latest post, ds5 is in speech at our local ps. What I didn’t mention is that it is part of a preschool for children with developmental delays. Today the question I dreaded came up, and I turned into a big chicken! The teacher/speech therapist asked what we had decided about kindergarten. I told her we were keeping him at home. Of course she tried to talk me out of it, saying he would get a lot out of it, socially as well as academically. I told her he already knew his letter sounds and could count past 20, which meant he would probably be bored. She said academics would be second to the social aspect of kindergarten, that those things shouldn’t be put off until first grade. What did I do then? I said dh was determined not to send him to school, implying that I could somehow be persuaded to send him to school. I know our state law regarding homeschooling and compulsory attendance age. I know how to get in touch with HSLDA. I know that when I put him in the ps program a little over a year ago, I was told I could pull him out at any time. Knowing all this, we have an IEP meeting next month. How should I approach this? Should I take a copy of the laws and the plan I’ve come up with, based on our state standards and CM techniques? Any suggestions and a lot of prayer is appreciated.
I forgot to mention that, although it’s not required in our state, I am a certified teacher (high school) and my sister has taught developmentally delayed students, who were more delayed than ds. At the moment she’s not willing to help us in this, but we’re praying she’ll change her mind. (The problem is our parents. They “don’t believe in homeschooling.” Of course, they didn’t think he needed preschool either, but now they’re singing a different tune about that).
Wow! I have no advice to offer here. But I’m not sure what state you are from. I would call the district for your county. They can put you in contact with you state education agency. Most agencies have a website that has sample letters to give to officials regarding your choice to homeschool. Other than that, I am no help.
I’m from Mississippi. Our law states that all I have to do is fill out a form within 15 days of either withdrawing the child from school or the beginning of the school year, whichever is applicable. Also, kindergarten is optional, although most parents don’t realize that. Our compulsory school age is six, not five. I know several parents who have held their children out for a year and enrolled them in kindergarten at six, and they’ve never had any problems with the school district. In fact, some of them have done this at their doctor’s orders, because the child “wasn’t ready for kindergarten.”
The only things I can say is be strong. You are not the only one who has gone against others in this stand. My parents were not on board with this either till last year (after 2 years of homeschooling and personally teaching all to read before K). It will take time. As long as you and Dh are on the same page it will be ok. Mind you I didn’t say easier, cause I can’t say that but it will be OK>
The first thing that comes to mind is suggesting you read some good books that encouarge HS so that you can have all the great arguements in your head to be able to “battle” the PS mentality.
For instance, Educating the Whole Hearted Child by the Clarksons..this book even has a chart of arguements that PS proponents use and the HS alternative reply to those arguements…very helpful when you need a boost of confidence and reminders.
And then some others Safely Home by Tom Eldridge
When You Rise Up by R.C. Sproul Jr.
The Christian Homeschool by Gregg Harris
There are many more but these are the ones I thought of first. I don’t know about you but when I am going to be arguing my case in “battle” I want the most ammo I can have..so reading is the best way for me to collect my ammo.
Of course if you and your husband are in agreement with God’s will for your family..it doesn’t matter what anyone says. STAND FIRM in the LORD. 🙂
Is the IEP for next year? If so, and you’ve made your decision, then cancel the meeting. You’ll feel better. You are not the only parent in the district that has decided to homeschool, I promise, even if they try to make you feel that way.
AR has very similar laws, and filling out the kindergarten waiver isn’t the same as an intent to homeschool form. Our school doesn’t like kids to skip kindergarten and try to start at 1st grade – the pressure to perform is too great for these kids. The K curriculum is like a 1st grade curriculum – spelling (even spelling tests), reading and even a standardized test.
If you haven’t made it clear to the pre-K teacher that you intend to homeschool, then go ahead and do it. You’ll feel so much better. Send a letter or an email if that is easier.
Confronting the school with your decision will be a piece of cake compared to talking to your parents LOL. Good luck!
I agree with Gem, be certain to use confident language or the “professionals” will think they can put the pressure on you (and believe me, they will, with all the best intentions!). The Clarksons book that Shelly mentioned (Educating the Wholehearted Child) is very helpful for arming you with good, solid answers and information. My daughter was receiving help with speech from the local school system, but they became too invasive and began pressuring me on nearly every visit so I decided to withdraw from their program and utilize other resources. I’m not saying this is your experience, but it was mine. It ended up being a very good decision for us, I’m not telling you what to do, but I was getting very uncomfortable with my daughter being “in the system” (you never know what DHS will see as a red flag). This shouldn’t be taken as alarmist, just a reality that I had to take into account. I hope you find the best solution for your family, best wishes!
When I picked up my son from preschool today, I told the teacher that dh was not going to change his mind about hsing ds next year, unless I get really sick or something. She talked a little bit about socialization and learning from other kids how not to throw a fit (I held my tongue on that one), but ultimately said it was our decision. Thanks for your prayers. I have a feeling they made a lot of difference.
There are many other ways to get sp.ther. besides the school sys. My dd had it through a some local providers.
The socialization argument is mute as the studies are already out there that show that hs children are socialized fine and that special needs children children actually do better than in a ps situation. The teachers in the system only view socialization from their persective. Your children will have social skills; they will just be taught in the home , interacting with family and church, and it will be the kind of skills G-d has ordained them to learn; not secular socialized behavior that teaches peer-dependance and creating a good-little-gov’t-citizen (catch my sarcasm?).
Please understand, they believe that only the ‘experts’ are capable of educating and literally rasing your children.
Yall are doing the right thing and your son will prosper. Imagine your son not being influenced by the other children at the sessions who are exhibiting behaviors contrary to what you’re trying to teach? Since this is a school that contains other children with more severe issues, I’m sure there has been some influence in areas that, once he’s removed, will improve becasue he’s not as severe as others. YOu’ll be able to create new habits!
My dd has enough trouble with her own self-control and sensory reactions without being around other children who are worse-off than she; she gets off track easily in that type of environment.
You and your husband are equiped by the Father to do this.
Are you members of HSLDA? If not, you want to; especially with the new Administration this current Congress in Washington with their pro-union positions, anti-educational choice position and potential (the Pres. thinks we should sign-on to it) to sign the UN treaty that gives children the right to the education they want (UN Convention on the Rights of a Child). In fact, when HSLDA Pres. requested a position from the Administration about their position on hsing, they recieved NO answer, however, the Congress has removed a very successful voucher system in Wash. D.C. forcing hundreds of children back into failing city schools.
I tell you this to emphasize the importance of membership to HSLDA. Read the books recommended above and learn the rules of your state and answers to the arguments by heart.
I think GEM is right; if the IEP meeting is about next year, cancel it. I like email myself for things like this. You don’t owe them an explanation either other than (out of courtesy, not obligation) we decided not to bring him next year, thank you for all your help, blah, blah (with the thank you’s) and “Have a Nice Day, good-bye”.
YOu will become more confident in your G-d Ordained position as time goes by, I promise! Then you’ll be able to use those opportunities to possibly educate, if the other party has an open mind; however, some don’t, it’s an elitest thing.
G-d Bless!
Rachel
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