We are having a really difficult time in our family right now. My husband is divorced, and for the last two years his kids have been living with us 50 % of the year. For whatever reason, my husband and I never had anything submitted to the court about our schedule change (which previous to that had been every other weekend). At the end of Spring a lot of things happened, and my husband’s ex decided that she didn’t want the kids here anymore. Because we did not have anything signed by a judge about the way the schedule had been working we legally had to go back to every other weekend.
The youngest two (12 and 11) are not happy about this transition. They very much liked how the schedule was working. Because of this switch back the 12 year old will not be able to play soccer. He plays on a very competative level, and had worked hard all spring to make a higher level team. His dream is to go on and play in college. Our 11 year old just wants to spend time with his Daddy. Both of the younger kids have gone to their mom expressing their displeasure, but that hasn’t seemed to help anything.
Our oldest is 16. Months and months ago he came to us saying he was having a hard time going back and forth. The majority of the time their parents have been divorced they have not lived in the same town. He is wanting to get a job, and he has said it’s hard for him to keep up with his friends. Long ago my husband and his ex decided that when each kid turned 14 if they wanted to stay one place, then that was their choice. Our oldest wanted to stay here, and went to his Mom to talk about it, and the long and short of it is, she managed to talk him out of it. We let it go for a long time. But, eventually, it came back up. He went away to camp for a month this summer, so we asked him to take this time away from his Mom and his Dad to think about things. When he came back we talked a little bit about it and asked him to spend some more time in prayer about what he wanted to do. He came to us once again and said that he wanted to stay here. We told him that he would need to go to his Mom, and asked him if he was sure that this is what he wanted, and that he didn’t have to make any decision at all. He was free to keep up with the schedule as it is. He said he was sure and went to his Mom.
Well, we find out tonight that when he went to his Mom she was telling him some things that were not true (she has very much placed him in the middle of all this drama before, too, and told him things that were half truths, or completely not true at all). The thing that was the most hurtful was that she told him that the only reason my husband wanted him here was so that hubby could get his child support money! My husband is livid with her for even saying that to him, and just as mad at him because at 16 he believed her and came back to my hubby with the attitude that it was true. My hubby, who is a talk first-think later type of guy, said some things to our son that he shouldn’t have (about his Mother), which he will be apologizing for tomorrow when he talks to him again.
This whole situation is just causing so much stress on everyone, and we just want it to go away!! Unfortunatly, that doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon, so any prayers would be really appreciated. All of this started back in May. I don’t know how much I’ve really processed all of this. I’ve been trying to so hard to stay strong for my husband, and for the kids, that I don’t know that I’ve really let myself feel the full weight of everything going on, which I know is not good becuase when it does hit me it will be bad! and becuase I’ve just been pushing through the days just to get by and not really given this fully over to God.
Thanks, ladies!!
