Name: Thrive! NCHE Homeschool Conference
Start: 2025-05-22T00:00:00-05:00
End: 2025-05-24T23:59:59-05:00
Location: Winston-Salem, NC

This topic has 12 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 9 months ago by dmccall3.

Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)

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August 1, 2011 at 5:13 pm
dmccall3
Participant
Has anyone just kept them in diapers until like 4 years old…5…6…? We are having multiple accidents daily. This is a huge battle area again. He flat out refuses to use the potty when WE KNOW he has to go. It’s total fitville. Then OF COURSE he has his accident. So I want to go back to diapers. Great. Now he’s having a conniption fit about THAT. I swore this would not be a big deal but IT IS! So should I go back to diapers or do something else??? If I go back when do I try again? He turns 4 in March. Wait until then? I always thought I’d follow his lead but that has us going to them when apparently he isn’t ready. I mean multiple, multiple accidents every day now. He went a 4 day stretch somehow (with a lot of pushing by us) but since then it’s been awful. I don’t even care when he gets out of diapers (except that it would save us loads of money). I just don’t know when in the world to try again! This stinks…
August 1, 2011 at 5:47 pm
Bookworm
Participant
I have to confess that I had two kids reading before they were successfully out of diapers. I had struggles, too, and finally decided that it just wasn’t working for us. I bought him underwear, took him into his room, showed him where I put them in his dresser, and told him to come tell me when he wanted to switch. So that’s what we did. All of my kids were 4 before they decided. I didn’t talk about it, I didn’t push, I didn’t nag, I didn’t point out how all their friends were in big boy pants. I just waited until that day came where one would say ” I want my big boy pants” and then that was it. We put them on, tossed the diapers, that was it. I figured why stress over how old they were? It wasn’t like I was putting them in daycare or anything. They were home with me. I’d just wait, myself. I see no real reason why it has to be that magic 3 (or worse, the magic 2). One thing–most of my relatives thought I was NUTS. They were convinced I was raising permanent babies. LOL If I turned my back, THEY started nagging the poor kids. It was even worse than the baby I decided to let him decide when to wean and he nursed until he was almost 2. (The relatives were aghast at that one too–they were convinced I was doomed to breastfeed teens or something.)
August 1, 2011 at 5:54 pm
joannarammell
Participant
i told myself not to answer this post…i think it might be a can of worms so to speak.
but i couldn’t stay away…here goes.
i potty trained my first boy right before or right as he turned 3.
i just finished with my second boy right as or after he turned 2. It was actually a bit harder with the 2 year old as he had to learn some things that the three y/o knew. but the 2 y/o was not afraid of the potty and the 3 y/o was.
that said, you can not MAKE a child use the potty. what i mean is you can’t discipline for not peeing or pooping. but you can discipline for not sitting on the potty when you say so or when the timer goes off (preferred). and of course, discipline for the fit no matter if it stems from his rebelling against going.
i suggest a tiny wonderful book called: The Potty Boot Camp by Dr. Suzanne Riffel. It outlines all the methods and sort of combines the positives. We have a Potty Party Day…and we leave diapers behind right then. We don’t go back. Although there are exceptions to that, we went ahead and got out the pullups when he got sick with diarrehea and had no control–and with boy #2 we chose to use pullups at night and nap, though many times he is dry then too. (Unlike heavy sleeper #1 where I changed so many sheets b/c we said no to pullups or anything ever!) Potty Party Day is INTENSE…and for #2 boy it took about a week…he had a learning curve–ah, it’s not a hose, oh, look i got mama’s foot–she’s not happy, oh tuck means tuck…got it, oh, i can take down my own pants, wow, etc. My husband on about day 5 saved everything by grabbing that little book and reading it himself. And yes, we had him clean up his messes himself and everything…which is hardest on the mama let me tell you! But he goes potty and is dry even after going out for hours w/o a potty in sight and within a couple of weeks stopped going to his little potty and climbed up on the big boy by himself…YEAH! He does have a occasional accident. Normally if he is locked into something. I need to remind then and sometimes I forget. Also, though he got disciplined for not obeying if he refused to go sit on the potty after I told him, he is happy, well adjusted and there is no weirdness about the potty!
The 3 y/o took about 2 days. I think he “got” it on day 2. But I had been diligent to work on the fear issue BEFORE “Potty Party Day”. AND let me tell you, Potty Party Day is all out…exhuberant, exhaustive, excitement…WILD. And for my less than that personality…it is a real stretch…but I pull out my acting talent (that I don’t have or do and don’t know it)…and ta da…it happens…then maintenance mode with the timer starts…which is pretty hard too…then suddenly it’s pretty much over unless you look down at the child and think…has he peed at all today…then you jump back in and say go! or you look at your child holding himself and dancing and say…what are you doing? GO!
Get rid of the weirdness about the potty and training. And seperate the obedience from the actual learning needing to take place. One you can enforce…one comes in time… and you can do this.
I really do highly recommend that book. http://www.amazon.com/POTTY-BOOT-CAMP-Training-Toddlers/dp/1601455194/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1312221223&sr=8-1
hth and hope you are like not really mad at me. I suspect that I am about to be very unpopular. hate that.
jo
August 1, 2011 at 6:01 pm
laurap
Participant
In my opinion, if he made a couple days, even with alot of coaxing, he IS ready. It sounds like a control issue. (not bladder control, but who is in charge. I would put a little radio and his favorite CD in the bathroom. Every 20 to 30 minutes take him in and tell him he HAS to sit through 2 songs. At that point it is not a potty issue but an obedience issue…..if any.
Potty training IS exhausting. You think it will NEVER end. BUT then it does! Hang in there. There will be accidents for the forst 6 months or so. Don’t give up. Show him that you are confident he is capable. (he has already proven that to you!) Diapers do not feel wet when the child is wearing them so they are not uncomfortable.
August 1, 2011 at 6:08 pm
Tristan
Participant
You know your child best.
Now, my personal opinion is at 3 years old, having shown they CAN use the potty and DO understand what you mean, the diapers should be gone during the day. It’s a control battle, and you can’t make them pee or poop on command, but you can insist that they are too old for diapers and not offer them. Enlist them in cleaning up their messes because they chose to make a mess instead of use the potty. Do it with a cheerful heart and a smile on your face. It’s hard at first, but it gets easier.

If you go back to diapers it’s okay. You’re the mom. Really!

August 1, 2011 at 6:31 pm
Misty
Participant
I think you can. If your child can go more than an hour without an accident it’s time to be on the potty. For us it’s more about me then them. Mine are all started about 16-18months with basic sit before bath, bed, etc. We at about 12 months move all diaper changing into the bathroom and after wiped sit on pot and talk about peeing there. They obviously don’t do anything at 12 months.
If you go back and forth (mind you I said back and forth) it will confuse the child. So either be patient and wait a bit longer a month or two or more or stick it out.
I have always done and it works for all 6 kids at the point, youngest being 2.5, with the cold water. What that is, is this. Go about day, take to potty when they want and do many suggestions. BUT if they pee in there pants and of course need to be washed down they go in my washtub and get washed off with cold water. Either splasing on legs or fill it up and sit them down. wash, soap and rinse. It has only take my one son the longest with 2.5 days of this to figure out the staying dry also ment staying warm!! The hose in the summer is the best !!
That’s how I do it. But like I said or should say I HATE diapers. Also, this is also only for waking hours. I will do night time differently being I will let them wear diapers longer. I will not start to train that one till about 4.
Everyone is different in this and you have to do what works for you and your dh. Talk it out and then get a plan! Good luck
August 1, 2011 at 6:43 pm
dmccall3
Participant
He’ll go during time out every time though. Hmmmm….
August 1, 2011 at 7:11 pm
joannarammell
Participant
time outs work for some. a swat to the rear works for others. putting my daughter in time out when she was young was a joke–it was very very stressful…she would not stay. period. I wasn’t going to tie her there. putting her back a million times for getting out didn’t work–many times i couldn’t even get her there–she was a wild physical octopus…was i going to give her another ineffectual time out for the breaking of the first time out? time out did not work because i had not yet established my authority. time out works for my boys–cause they know if they get down from the chair or off the spot, a swat on the rear is the consequence and they trust me on this. my daughter does now too. just food for thought. my friend had a child who when her mother sent her to time out…she saw that the cushion they used had fallen behind the couch…the child went around the back of the couch fished out the cushion and sat on it till her mother came for her. She and my child were the same age…her mother stated the occurrence matter of factly…my mouth hung open. my friend helped me here…she said but my child and your child are not the same. time outs are not working for your child…do something different!
You’ll figure it out–the what works for you and yours!
God Bless,
jo
August 1, 2011 at 7:22 pm
dmccall3
Participant
Haha. I mean something about sitting in time out (for something unrelated) makes him jump up and use the potty. Either it’s the lack of distractions, the desire to get out of time out, or a combination of both. 🙂
August 1, 2011 at 7:41 pm
joannarammell
Participant
LOL!
August 1, 2011 at 9:23 pm
suzukimom
Participant
Gee, and I was thinking he was going in his pants during timeout…. so was a sign of defiance… lol
glad I was wrong about that…. but still shows that he can go when he WANTS to…
August 2, 2011 at 7:16 am
dmccall3
Participant
Yes, yes. It’s getting him to want to…
August 2, 2011 at 7:25 am
dmccall3
Participant
He goes to the potty great when it’s his idea. It’s when I suggest it at an “off time” (but after enough time for him to be able to go) he resists STRONGLY.
You know my husband is this exact same way too (except he doesn’t actually throw a fit – haha). If he has an idea to do something, say, clean up th kitchen, fix a door, whatever, he does it gladly. If I ask him to do something though he totally resists (sort of passively) and it never gets done or he finally does it when he feels he’s doing it more on “his terms” but still because I’ve asked it is still done somewhat resentfully. I’ve had to learn and I’m still learning how to not ask for what I want but still get his help making it seem like his idea. Which I’m still really not all that good at because it’s hard to accomplish!
But this potty business is definitely a battleground and it wasn’t at first so I must have started putting pressure without realizing it. Why do people have to be so complex!? 😉