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Please satisfy my curiosity!
- This topic has 22 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 9 months ago by
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O.K. Lindsey, here goes! Of course this is just my opinion and what I have done with my kids. Your kids are yours and you know them best and what is best for them. Take a deep breath cause here it comes… Just throw em out!
Have a talk with your kids and tell them what you are concerned about. Tell them that if you kept every toy they every received the house would soon be buried in toys! Let them know that you are concerned that they are to attatched to “things” and that is not spiritually healthy. Let them know what is REALLY important in life and that they are blessed beyond belief to be living in North America with a family who loves them with the clothes and food and toys that they have. Let them know that getting rid of toys is not the worst thing in the world and that they will survive. Tell them that you will be getting rid of some of the toys that you believe are not good for them because you love them and want them to be thinking on things that are pure, good, honest, of good report, etc. Then just do it!
This may sound harsh and it may seem harsh…at first. But they will get over it. My kids did. I had also been scared to hurt their feelings when getting rid of toys. When my first daughter was was littler I felt guilty just thinking about it! But then I realized ( or God revealed) that she needed to learn that she can survive with less stuff. She needed to know that the world would still turn and her days would still be fun and Mommy would still love her. We now have that continuing conversation about children and people in general who are less fortunate than ourselves and the duty and the responsibility that we have to them because we are Christians. She was upset at first, but she got over it pretty quickly and now volunteers to give away her toys to someone who she sees may need a little love. That right there confirmed to me that the “tough love” I had doled out was the right thing to do.
Now, having said all that, these are YOUR kids, not mine. What was right for mine may not be for yours. You are a good mother for having this concern at all and God has the answer you need for your kids. it may not be the same as mine.
Don’t know if that helps or offends. God Bless, Miranda
Miranda,
Thanks for telling me what I needed to hear. I got a good start today by filling up 1.5 trashbags of toys…some that Ir didn’t like, others that weren’t being played with. I did give my ds an analogy. I told him that our house was like a refrigerator. If we kept all the old food and still bought groceries, pretty soon our fridge would be too full to hold it all. And it would get yucky and stinky and crowded. In the same way, our home would be too crowded if we kept all the old stuff, but kept adding new stuff. That was the best thing I could come up with at the moment.
I will have to talk to dh about this first. He might think I’m nuts; or he might completely agree. Who knows.
Thank you for your honest words. They helped!
~Lindsey
Hi Lindsey, I really liked your analogy! I’m glad my post helped and didn’t offend. Glad to hear you got a good start to clearing away some of the toys. God bless, it was nice chatting. Happy Homeschooling!
I just wanted to say.. that there is some difference in oppinion in things our kids see and do with dh and I also. This makes it very hard sometimes. But I just pray over it cause it’s not for me to change his mind and I have to trust the Lord. I also have to be obedient to my dh.
Now on some of the other items.. we do limit the playstation 1 (which my dh brought home w/o me knowing) to 20 min once a week. The leapsters to only in the car. Thomas is ok.. it’s more driving me nuts. Star wars lego.. again this is from dh who loved star wars and yes they will play with other legos if I got rid of them.
I guess for us.. some of what you say seems really good, some seems to easy for our family and other parts seem way to hard, not not hard but over the top. As you all said you have to do whats best for our family. Also, the real world, even if you are like us and limit everything about being out there that you can, is still there and one day our children will all have to live in it in one way or another. So we can prepare them in so many ways. We have movies like snow white, cars, and toy story. Now not one is a favorite to be watched all the time. But we also have LOR and Star wars and our kids love these. You have to remember we can teach so much though.. these are just movies, it’s a cartoon, but at the same time limit them so they don’t become a “normal” part of what they see and hear. If you know what I mean.
Lucky for all of us, God made our families unique and individual. I love to learn from each of you and to make me think.. hmmm.. so I think more on this area or do I feel we are good. And I appreciate that from each of you. So thank you for making me think with these discussions and look at what God might be telling me. (now as for my dh.. he doesn’t always hear/see like I do) But thanks to good christian films and the library I have been able to easily and safely switch our movies to better ones.
Misty
My dh isn’t saved so my kids are exposed to shows like Spongebob and have all the toys, especially electronics. I think that’s what it comes down to exactly: You have to trust the Lord. I was saved as an adult, neither one of my parents or my sister are saved. I had received a teen study bible when I was 12 and read it many times. The scripture made sense to me and I could see the truth. I think, I have to believe that for my children, that I am teaching them the Word and that they will see the truth in it. They have more than I did, as I am teaching them the bible and answering questions that I had no one to ask.
It really bothers me that they watch a lot of the shows, but after praying it is not worth the battle to me and I feel the greater thing is for me to obey my husband.
Good for you MrsJamieSouth! In the long run your children will remember that you submitted to your husband’s wishes as the Bible directs us. The rest will all make sense to them later. Just set the example now and G*d will more than honor that. Our battle is against the unseen things of the world, not with the people in our homes!
How did it go, Lindsey?
I know my kids need to get rid of toys. They don’t play with many of them. But I have problems getting rid of stuff too. I like your analogy of the refrigerator.
Sara,
Interesting you should ask, one year later!
At the time I asked this question, we were living in a tiny, 2-bedroom apartment and looking for a home to purchase. This discussion proved to be a turning point for my children. We were able to successfully help them let go of some of their things without trauma, tears, or tantrums. It took some gentle, careful explaining, but they are, a year later, able to go through their stuff on their own and clean out old and unused items. A victory!!
Shortly after I posted this question, we did buy a home. Two months later, we held our first garage sale ever. The kids were excited to help us organize their old toys, books, and clothes, knowing people were going to buy them. They happily had a lemonade stand during our garage sale and made $5 each! They were tempted to try re-getting what didn’t sell at our garage sale, but we stayed consistent. There were some crocodile tears, but nothing major. The unsold stuff was given away to a local charity.
Since the garage sale, we have cleaned out their rooms twice. The garage has been purged even more in less than a year! God began to give my husband and I a desire for simplicity and a less-is-more attitude a few years ago. It’s not that we had a ton of stuff; it’s that we wanted to get rid of everything that took up space that wasn’t necessary. It has been like a physical throwing off of everything that hinders.
We have less stuff now than we’ve ever had in our 8 1/2-year marriage, and we’ve never been happier! I love walking to organization throughout my house!! I have always loved to organize, but it took a while to get my family on board. I’m so glad we’re all on the same page now.
Blessings!
Lindsey
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