Please review this narration….

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  • my3boys
    Participant

    Blue Willow Chapters 1-almost the end of 4

    In the beginning of Blue Willow, this family, the Larkins, just moved into this shack-like home.   It’s one room, no bath (cause this is in the 1930’s-40’s, somewhere after the Great Depression, it was still kind of “depressed”) and they figured the place was abandoned, so they went ahead and moved in.  They also figured they wouldn’t have to pay rent and got lucky. There was a family across the street, the Romeros, and they became friends quite quickly.  The Larkins had one child, Janey, a petite 10 yo girl. The Romeroes had 3 kids named Lupe, Robert, and the baby, Betty.  Janey’s dad worked for 2 dollars a day at a farm, which is why they moved to this place, because the Larkins had to move wherever there was work for Mr. Larkin (so they moved a lot).  The Romero family lived across this dirt, path, street thing, for an entire year, which for the Larkins, was pretty impressive.  Lupe and Janey quickly became friends and one day Lupe came over to ask Janey if she wanted to go to the fair with them because today kids get in free.   Mrs. Romero was taking the car because Mr. Romero had a friend take him to work, so they were free to do what they wanted with the car.  Mrs. Romero gave Jenny an entire nickel to spend at the fair.  This nickel was Janey’s first very own money.  Jenny was excited and they were off on a 25 mile journey to Fresno where the fair was held.  They spent the entire afternoon at the fair where they had a great time.  Jenny bought a pack of bubblegum with her 5 cents, which she then shared with all the Romeros that were there and her family.  The next day was not so satisfying. That morning her father came home quite too early and said a lay off was necessary and he wouldn’t have any work for 3 or 4 days.  (At this point, the Larkins have lived there for a week.)  A truck drove up to inspect the windmill which was a little way away from their house.  He was driving back and was nearly passed the Larkins house-shack thing, but then stopped, got out of his car (with the motor still running) and went to see if people were actually living there.  So, Mr. Larkin, since he was home, answered the door.  This man told him, since he lived here he would have to pay rent, $5 a month.   So the Larkins gave the landowner $5 of hard-earned dollars to the landowner. 

    ********************

    Now I haven’t instructed my 12yo ds in paragraphing and such, we’re still working on basic narration.  I do need to decide on a “program” for essay writing (thinking Jump In, I just reviewed a sample from their website and I like what I see so far), but we’re still working on some basic skills.  I know I’ve shared narrations in the past and I guess I enjoy the feedback since I don’t have anyone in my circle of friends whom I could share this method with (at least not any his age/grade).  He still seems to “give” more when he narrates orally, so we’re sticking with that for a bit longer (he does have some assignments coming that are going to require more actual writing on his part along with our reg. lang. arts).

    Anyway, I’m not reading this book with him so I don’t know what details he may have left out, plus, this is a narration from several short chapters when I usually have him narrate after each chapter.  He is enjoying this book and read more before I had a chance to ask for a narration.

    I can’t express enough how much this site/forum has given me/us in our homeschooling journey.  I may have given up or pulled my hair out if I had not stumble upon this site/method when I did.  You are all such a blessing to me. Thanks in advance for your replies.

    my3boys
    Participant

    Whoops, I see that I didn’t change all of the “Jenny’s” to “Janey’s”.  My son had originally told me her name was Jenny, then said he was wrong, her name is Janey.  Anyhow, Jenny and Janey in the narration are the same personLaughing.

    my3boys
    Participant

    bump Smile.

    my3boys
    Participant

    bump Laughing.

    Heather
    Participant

    My3boys, I have no advice for you!Laughing  My oldest is just 9 and I haven’t asked her to start written narrations yet.  However, I would like to say that this is a very detailed narration!  I would be very please if my dd gave oral ones as well as this!  Well done!

    I hope someone else chimes in! 

    So I’m assuming you typed this since he orally narrates right now? If he actually wrote it, I’m impressed with his spelling. Also good is all the little details he remembers. My 12yo son is getting much better at orally narrating, and I’d be pleased with this narration if it was my son.

    I just looked at Jump In too. It looks like something a “writing reluctant” boy like mine would tolerate very well.

    my3boys
    Participant

    Thanks so much for your replies. 

    I did type this myself and it’s obvious that I don’t form his narrations in any way, paragraphs, etc. I just keep typing as he keeps sharing.  I do add the parentheses around any words/phrases that he says “on the side” but wasn’t actually in his narration as he is sharing, does that make sense??  It’s in his narration but almost as an afterthought, but I hate to not add it.  Those are things he would’ve left out if he would have written it himself.  Those phrases wouldn’t have been something that he wouldn’t have felt necessary, but I find it very necessary, or interesting, maybe that’s a better word.  I guess I’m trying to explain to him, by typing all of what he has to say about the text, that ALL of what he thinks/remembers is important.  I realize there may be a better way to add it all in, but that is what formal instruction is for, right??  I love how he’s starting to connect time periods with events….Is that crazy??  So, I don’t like that left out.

    Can I explain further??  There have been times that he does do a written narration and it’s pretty short. I’ll ask him something about what he wrote, out of interest, and he’ll add to the conversation that was not in the original narration.  I have asked him why that important element wasn’t in the original narration and he doesn’t really know why.  I do let him know that what he “shared” outside the narration is very interesting and could’ve be added (I don’t say this in a “bad” way, just letting him know that his thoughts are important).

    This is one area that I love about CM, but find the need for reassurance the most. 

    Thanks again for your replies, it helps alot….and I’m hoping Jump In will help my “reluctant to write” boy will tolerate it as well.

    I have been told that when beginning to write narrations, the narrations will be shorter. But with time it *should* get easier, similar to the process of learning to orally narrate. I understand your need for reassurance, especially if start to I feel pressured sometimes to see a long page of well- written material. In due time, right? 🙂

    On the flip side, my 8 year old can easily do oral and written narrations. Her spelling isn’t great right now, but she loves to write! Yay! Schooling a girl is so different. 🙂

    my3boys
    Participant

    Yes, in due time.  He is only 12 and I know we have some time still, but I just like to know that we are on the right track.

    Thanks again for the reassuranceLaughing.

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