Please pray, my dh has different thoughts about high school for our dc

I couldn’t agree more with what you all have added.

My dh did not have great school years to look back on (he did have neighborhood friends, etc. but we lived in a time when we left in the morning and didn’t come back ’til dinner). He had many issues in school and around that age in general so he did not do proms/go to college/play music/some sports but not much, etc., but he’s very social (my ds is not like his dad in this area), never met a stranger, and feels he can do anything like any other man. But he he feels the need to overcompensate with our kids. He’s kind of always been that way, always promises to never do what our parents did, or didn’t do, with us. I wouldn’t say he spoils them (we don’t have lots of $$$) but he does think we should always put their needs before our own, which we do. We don’t go out much, just the two of us, but we have alot of friends (not alot of “couple friends”) and are active in our church, etc. He really has a very full social life, well, as full as he wants it to be.

I think it all boils down to him always wanting the kids to have what we didn’t have. That is a trap that does not work (I try to tell him)…we are not them, they are not us. What’s funny is: I believe they are getting what we didn’t get and much, much more. Not to the point of spoiling, but my goodness, the list of things that they can participate in is staggering, the books they have at their fingertips, warm beds, clothing, food, two completely devoted parents that love each other…the list goes on and on. And I’m not bragging, I think all of us are so fortunate to have the blessing of homeschooling. I have shared these things with my dh and he cannot deny these facts…but he’s a fixer and if ps fixes my ds’s loneliness then that’s what he’s going to do.

On a side note, I took the kids to the park and while there I had a talk with my ds. He says that he is really happy and thought that his dad knew that. He has plans for things he’d like to do and knows that they can only be accomplished (realistically) if we cont. to hs. Hopefully he can relay this to his dad and he will believe that he really is okay. My ds does have a rather melancholy personality and it can be a bit hard to really know when he is really happy/content.

I appreciate all of your thoughts, prayers, and responses. It helps so much to get this off my chest and on paper (or computer screen) in a safe place that will not judge my need to really discuss in ways sometimes my dh is not able to do.

Whew!